Fic: Chasing Dreams Pt 3 of ?
Title: Chasing Dreams
Part: 3 of ?
Author: rainbow_romeo
Pairing: House/Chase
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: BDSM, implied and explicit sexual actions - no this isn't a PWP and it will take some time till the explicit sex
Disclaimer: Not mine, blah
Summery: Dr. Robert Chase thinks that his private life is nobody's business but his own, he also thinks that he's not a masochist. As always House proves him wrong in the most unconventional way possible.
A/N: Rather short chapter - sorry. I'm hoping to get a few more comments, I'm starting to think next to nobody's reading this. ^^
Chase wasn’t sure what was driving him insane faster - House’s never ending innuendos or his own fantasies about what the older man would make him do. The more time he spent thinking about his uncertain sexual preferences, the more he was afraid of anyone else finding out. House could have probably made him run around the hospital naked and Chase would have rather done that instead of looking into Cameron’s or Foreman’s or Cuddy’s or just anyone’s eyes and knowing that they knew about some of the thoughts in his head.
The problem was that until then, House hadn’t really done anything. Sure, Chase had had to do silly things like make coffee and more and more and more coffee or go to the dry cleaner’s for House, but clearly - that couldn’t have been all the older man was planning to do, he had been doing that even before their deal.
Exactly a week after Wilson had shown up at Chase’s - and he didn’t even want to acknowledge the fact that that had to mean something - everything changed. He was doing some of House’s charting which meant that he had to work late in order to have it done until the next morning. He had been certain that House had already gone home, but then the other doctor appeared in the doorway, face cryptically blank.
“I think there’s someone you want to talk to.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Chase lied without even looking up. There was only one explanation where House had to have been for the last few hours. Also, the owner of the office those hours had been spent in was being pushed inside the conference room only few moments later. Chase sighed and shoved the charts away. He really didn’t have any choice.
The two older doctors sat down opposite the youngest one while it was obvious that not only Chase, but Wilson, too, was forced to have the following conversation.
“And now we will erase the deafening silence and mind numbing tension between you two gals”, House started and gave Chase a smirk that was purely evil. “Robbie, tell Jimmy here, why Chase jr. wasn’t up to the challenge last week, so my friend doesn’t have to kill himself, because he thinks you don’t find him pretty enough.”
“Oh, come on, House! As if he would actually confess if there was some big secret, just because you tell him to! This is completely ridic-”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Wilson”, Chase interrupted, emitting another sigh. “It didn’t have anything to do with you. I just wasn’t ready for what we were planning to do, so it couldn’t have all that much of an effect on me.”
“That’s a bad Robert!” House sent a scolding look his way. “I bet your mommy told you that telling half of the truth is just like lying!”
“I…” And that was all he could bring himself to say. Their deal was that nobody would have to know as long as Chase did was House told him to, but wasn’t this useless? House would refrain from telling anyone by making Chase tell everyone? “This… This wasn’t part of the deal, House.”
“Come on, did you really think we wouldn’t tell Jimmy? He has a right to know! You see, he’s been crying himself to sleep every night for the last week and I don’t think he gets the whole “It’s not you - it’s me!” thing if you don’t give him the reason why it’s you and not him.”
“I did not cry myself to sleep! And what deal are you talking about? What the hell is-“
“I couldn’t do it”, Chase interrupted again. “I don’t like hurting others, I didn’t feel anything when you were cuffed to the bed, at least not… what I was supposed to feel, it just… wasn’t right.”
“So, little Robbie, what did you feel when you had him cuffed to the bed, all naked and helpless?”
“I…”, he began, only to have his voice falter and give out. He wasn’t even sure if the picture House was creating was making him aroused or if he should have just felt humiliated. “I wanted to be… like that.”
“Then why didn’t you just say something?”, Wilson nearly exploded, pushing his chair back and putting his hands on his hips after brushing one through his hair in exasperation.
God, Chase felt so incredibly small right then. He just wanted to crawl into some hole and hide until his fellowship was finally over and he could walk away from the hospital and all it’s department heads.
“I didn’t want you to know. I thought I could… do it.”
“So you thought you’d just pretend to want to fuck me, get it all over with and then forget it ever happened without thinking, just for one tiny second, that I would feel terrible for practically making you have sex with me?”
“I… I’m sorry, I really am sorry, I just… I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to think I was a masochist or something…”
Silence. Again. Chase really didn’t feel like looking up and finding out what was going on in the other doctors’ minds. Not that House’s expression ever revealed anything, but Wilson’s would and he didn’t want to face any of that.
“Chase…” Wilson’s voice was soft all of a sudden and when the youngest of them forced himself to look up, he saw all of what he wanted to avoid. Confusion, pity and - concern. “You just told House that you wanted to be in my position that evening. What we had planned for then would pretty much make you a ma-“
“I’m not a masochist!” And that retort came much too fast for anyone to believe him.
But it probably was exactly that second that had James Wilson care and worry about Chase more than he had ever thought he could.
“So… What’s with that deal you mentioned?”
“Chase, answer him.”
“We agreed that… that I would do what House told me to in return for his silence about… this and other things.”
Wilson’s sharp intake of breath surprised all three of them, but only Chase remained surprised when the oncologist turned to glare at his best friend.
“Chase, would you please excuse us? I’m pretty sure, you can go home now. Go home.”
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"You can’t treat him like your slave if he is that deeply concerned about wanting to be treated like someone’s slave! He needs to deal with this, not have you take advantage of him!”
“Who says I’ll take advantage of him?”
“Everything I know about you tells me that you will use him and push his buttons until he just breaks into tiny pieces of self-hatred!”
“And what if he likes it when I push his buttons?”
"House, this is not about whether or not he likes it. That boy obviously has some incredibly deep issues he has to learn to deal with and you’re clearly not helping with that! Did you notice that he was close to crying when I told him that he probably was a masochist? Did you think about why I didn’t confront him about that night last week?”
“Because you were just too darn ashamed of yourself?”
“No! No, House! I didn’t confront him, because he did cry that night and even though yes, I felt like crap the whole week, I knew that he was probably feeling worse and I was planning on actually helping him with whatever was going on as soon as I was able to deal with him again. Chase was crying his eyes out after we broke it off and I knew that there was something else, that it wasn’t about me not being attractive or anything. He was a mess! I don’t think he even remembers half of what he was stuttering and I don’t think he needs to. What he needs is someone who is there for him!”
“So you don’t think that’s just what I’m doing? Being his father figure by telling him what to do, so he can run to me and cry his pretty little eyes out even more so that eventually he’ll just accept the facts?”
“No, because I know you. You want to prove some sick point or solve some riddle that’s probably even sicker. But this is not Cameron having a crush or Foreman worrying about being too similar to you. Chase probably has a real problem and torturing him because of it… that is just wrong, House, that’s really bad, even for you.”
“But what if it really isn’t all that bad?”