(no subject)
Accidentally sliced off my fingertips on the deli slicer at work. Not too much, missed the bone and just barely missed any fingernail, but typing is a little slow going.
I think I'm slipping into the most brooding loneliness since... a long time. Thought I'd grown out of that, but apparently not. Worst part is not having the time to do anything about it because I'm already fallen far behind in work and all my classes. Oh well. Not too long before summer, and then at least I'll have part of that out of the way for a while.
Had a dream, night before last. I was in an empty house, surrounded by flat empty land with just the sparsest grass clinging to reddish dusty ground. Just enough to keep the whole thing from blowing away. It reminded me of the flat empty nowhere that makes up a lot of midwest Texas, before it turns into interesting rock formations and desert wildlife. But it wasn't Texas, it was just oppressively hot.
Sometimes I saw things from somewhere in the sky, and there was another house, large and empty like the one I was in, with someone I was excited to see. There was no road between the houses, just flat empty nothing, but I knew which direction to go. Besides, not too far and I'd be able to see the house looming over the flatness. It was a mile or two away, close enough to walk but far enough to be out of sight.
And every morning I looked out the window and thought, "Maybe tomorrow. Maybe it won't be so hot. It's a long walk in that sun. Maybe tomorrow it'll be cooler, or I'll wake up before the sun's out, or maybe they'll come here instead." And never left the big empty house.
I think I'm slipping into the most brooding loneliness since... a long time. Thought I'd grown out of that, but apparently not. Worst part is not having the time to do anything about it because I'm already fallen far behind in work and all my classes. Oh well. Not too long before summer, and then at least I'll have part of that out of the way for a while.
Had a dream, night before last. I was in an empty house, surrounded by flat empty land with just the sparsest grass clinging to reddish dusty ground. Just enough to keep the whole thing from blowing away. It reminded me of the flat empty nowhere that makes up a lot of midwest Texas, before it turns into interesting rock formations and desert wildlife. But it wasn't Texas, it was just oppressively hot.
Sometimes I saw things from somewhere in the sky, and there was another house, large and empty like the one I was in, with someone I was excited to see. There was no road between the houses, just flat empty nothing, but I knew which direction to go. Besides, not too far and I'd be able to see the house looming over the flatness. It was a mile or two away, close enough to walk but far enough to be out of sight.
And every morning I looked out the window and thought, "Maybe tomorrow. Maybe it won't be so hot. It's a long walk in that sun. Maybe tomorrow it'll be cooler, or I'll wake up before the sun's out, or maybe they'll come here instead." And never left the big empty house.