*sigh*
So the week from hell is over with. I think I ended up working over 35 hours in one week(since I'm part time I'm only suppose to 20 hours a week). It's not all bad though since I get more money than. The downside was that we had most of our seasonal cashiers gone back to school and 4 or so other cashiers short so it was tight and busy. Most of the week was ok ,just busy like a usual weekend but Sunday was hell. On Sunday the lines at each lane were backed up into self-serve(so that was about 10-15 people in line in each lane and we had about 16 of our 20 lanes open and the 7 of 8 self check outs open)and it kept up that way from noon to about 7. so 7 hours of non stop customers asking a million questions,paying with checks,and being pissed off about waiting a half hour in line(even though they know the line is long). Monday was a much needed break though,it was so calm and only slightly crowded.
So I was way out of loop on life for a week and I just want to say it fucking pisses me off. I hate not knowing anything and being lost in the world. For one week work and sleep was my life and that is no way to live a life. I need time to myself,time to my friends(which sadly only have time for me on weekends)and time to my family and I wasn't getting any of that. Things should be better now though and that is a welcome realife.
Also I'm getting back into the habit of being afraid to even think about reliying on people,opening up to them. I have basically shut myself off emotionally to my friends and am not even willing to explore the operttunity to open up to other friends. I have this thought in my mind that since I have given up the fantasy of Preston and I that I could maybe be a better friend to me and vice versa but I just can't bring myself to act upon it. I'm jut so afraid of again being rejected by him but this time as a friend. Being rejected as a friend by Preston will hurt more than being rejected as a love interest ever was. I mean Preston unknown to him helped me so much in the last year or so and I want to tell him and have that as a stepping of point for a new kind of friendship but I'm afraid of the failure.
I guess I just have to act and push the fear aside and listen to the very Preston sounding voice in my head says and grow a damn spine.
So I was way out of loop on life for a week and I just want to say it fucking pisses me off. I hate not knowing anything and being lost in the world. For one week work and sleep was my life and that is no way to live a life. I need time to myself,time to my friends(which sadly only have time for me on weekends)and time to my family and I wasn't getting any of that. Things should be better now though and that is a welcome realife.
Also I'm getting back into the habit of being afraid to even think about reliying on people,opening up to them. I have basically shut myself off emotionally to my friends and am not even willing to explore the operttunity to open up to other friends. I have this thought in my mind that since I have given up the fantasy of Preston and I that I could maybe be a better friend to me and vice versa but I just can't bring myself to act upon it. I'm jut so afraid of again being rejected by him but this time as a friend. Being rejected as a friend by Preston will hurt more than being rejected as a love interest ever was. I mean Preston unknown to him helped me so much in the last year or so and I want to tell him and have that as a stepping of point for a new kind of friendship but I'm afraid of the failure.
I guess I just have to act and push the fear aside and listen to the very Preston sounding voice in my head says and grow a damn spine.