anger
so today i had a huge fighting argument with my mom today, and she stated that I may need to start finding a new place to live, she can't handle living with me. So, I might need to find someone to let me stay with them, more details coming on that.
One thing she was telling me during this hitting/crying/screaming fight was that the only reason that i fight with her like i do is because apparantly i'm the only she knows i can fight with and still be able to come home to because i know that she will love me no matter what, that i would never fight like this with my friends. well duh! thats because my friends dont force anything upon me, and dont dictate the way i should live my life. clearly, they would not be my friends if they did.
she mentioned me seeing a therapist, because i guess my mom thinks that the reason i am basically the way i am is because i dont love myself, and i need to love myself before i can love anyone else. i'm like, well who does, honestly? no one is perfect. but then i got thinking, i really dont like who i am. i have the lowest self confidence of anyone i know, and i really couldnt name anything i truely like about myself. my mom thinks i have great friends, but that they dont give me the advice i need to feel good about myself as a person. i dont know if thats true or not, but one thing is for sure, she is right about me not loving myself. but i still dont think that can stop me from loving someone, can it? maybe the reason why i'm so, whats the word, "open" with guys is because it does make me feel good about myself recieving that kind of attention, and making me feel like i'm cared about, even though i know that after one night it means nothing to them. i need to stop those "one nights" from happening and find someone who wants to give me the attention i need back.
i do have issues. haha. i need to find a better way of dealing with them, or i'm in for some big problems. i need to learn to like me. any ideas?
One thing she was telling me during this hitting/crying/screaming fight was that the only reason that i fight with her like i do is because apparantly i'm the only she knows i can fight with and still be able to come home to because i know that she will love me no matter what, that i would never fight like this with my friends. well duh! thats because my friends dont force anything upon me, and dont dictate the way i should live my life. clearly, they would not be my friends if they did.
she mentioned me seeing a therapist, because i guess my mom thinks that the reason i am basically the way i am is because i dont love myself, and i need to love myself before i can love anyone else. i'm like, well who does, honestly? no one is perfect. but then i got thinking, i really dont like who i am. i have the lowest self confidence of anyone i know, and i really couldnt name anything i truely like about myself. my mom thinks i have great friends, but that they dont give me the advice i need to feel good about myself as a person. i dont know if thats true or not, but one thing is for sure, she is right about me not loving myself. but i still dont think that can stop me from loving someone, can it? maybe the reason why i'm so, whats the word, "open" with guys is because it does make me feel good about myself recieving that kind of attention, and making me feel like i'm cared about, even though i know that after one night it means nothing to them. i need to stop those "one nights" from happening and find someone who wants to give me the attention i need back.
i do have issues. haha. i need to find a better way of dealing with them, or i'm in for some big problems. i need to learn to like me. any ideas?