Fic: I Can't Do It Alone [5/?]
Title: I Can't Do It Alone
Author: rainbombz
Rating: R, NC-17, something of that nature.
Warnings: Character death (before and after the start of the story), drugs use, language, sex, perversion of justice - a bit angsty, if you couldn't tell.
Length: ~1400, this part; ~7000, total.
Spoilers: It may have spoilers in future chapters, to whatever the current episode may be at the time of posting. You can work that out. (:
Summary: All she knows is that she can't let Quinn go - not when she's certain that she's the only thing the Cheerio has to cling to.
A/N: Double update day. Yay? [:
Rachel Berry doesn't really think she's gay. In fact, up until last week it was quite positively proven that she was pretty damn straight, complete with hot jock boyfriend and hetero sex. Then Quinn Fabray has to come along and royally fuck that up.
Admittedly, she's never really labelled herself - with two gay men for parents, an open mind is more of a prerequisite than a conscious choice. Before now though, she's never given a relationship with a girl a second thought - or a first thought, even. Although, having said that, she's never considered a real relationship with anyone. Even Noah was just a boy to fill time with until she could move to New York and fall in love with some handsome city boy - after she's won a few roles on Broadway, of course.
So, in her meticulously planned life, there is really no room whatsoever for an attraction to the girl who spent the last three years making her life hell. God, she wishes it worked like that. But it doesn't, and the fact of the matter is that the blonde is beginning to make her heart race. And when she thinks about it, which is every other minute of the day, she can see herself falling in love with her. She can see Broadway pushed aside for some worthless job in Lima, she can see her future husband, derivative of ex-boyfriend Jesse St. James, morph into a teen mother-cum-drug dealer before her eyes, she can see a penthouse suite become a dingy one bedroom affair; and she's oddly okay with this.
It doesn't matter anyway - if the child she gave away and the rubbers in her purse were anything to go by, Rachel would guess that she didn't even have a chance with Quinn. This thought made her heart give an odd twinge, but she pushed it aside. She is going to go to New York and marry that carbon-copy of a perfect man that she had yet to find. She is going to play Elpheba, or Glinda, or Sister Mary Patrick or something. And, when she is scrubbing off green face paint and trying to get the colour out of her nails, she will not be thinking of Quinn Fabray. Never.
Sighing, she rests her head against the chain of the swing she's sitting on. It's been a long time since she came to a children's play park. Too long, she thinks. They're great places for thinking - but she hasn't been doing much of that recently. If she had been, she wouldn't have been with Puck. She would have been caught up in a whirlwind of Lima's crazy underworld. Quinn Fabray was a part of that underworld though, and suddenly she doesn't feel that it's such a bad place to be.
After another few moments contemplation, the girl takes both her cellphone and a crumpled tissue from her pocket. She flattens the napkin across her thigh, running her fingers over the digits roughly printed there. To call or not to call? That is the question. Rachel wants to call, she really does. However, the feeling that Quinn was playing with her isn't buried very far beneath the surface of happiness at the number in her possession.
"You gonna call me or just sit and stare at it?"
The husky whisper dangerously close to her ear almost makes Rachel fall from her seat, but she catches herself before she gets that far, hand on her fast beating heart. Whether it's pumping hard from surprise or from her company, the diva doesn't know. Quinn doesn't seem to notice, straddling the swing beside her own and arching an eyebrow in anticipation of a response. Rachel finally looks up to meet amused hazel eyes, and a slow smirk begins to form on her face. The cheerio watches in confusion as Rachel taps the screen of her iPhone, occasionally looking to the crumpled paper now lying on the asphalt. She's even more confused when she feels the cell in her pocket begin to vibrate.
"Hello?"
"Hey Quinn?"
"Yeah?" the blonde says, looking at the brunette she is now on the phone with with a bemused expression.
"You wanna hang out with me today?"
Quinn giggles innocently, and for a second Rachel can't believe that the other girl can be a drug dealer, let alone at the heart of the Lima drug scene. The cheerleader pauses, biting her lip shyly in a way that makes Rachel swoon. Could this girl be more adorable? Well, probably if she was less of a bitch, but the star's willing to let that slide. "I...I think I'd like that."
If it was possible, Rachel's grin became even wider. "I have no idea what to say now. This conversation seems to have reached it's penultimate turning point in which you agreed to spend time with me where I would usually ask to arrrange a time of place and meeting but you're already here and I'm here and I should really just say bye and-"
"Berry? Please hang up now." Rachel flushes and does as asked, the tiny smile on her companion's face the only thing stopping her face from bursting into flames of embarrassment. "So what are you doing here?" Quinn asks in an effort to make conversation, while avoiding the subject the gleek has been trying to broach for the past week.
"Just thinking. It's nice here, right? With all the trees and the little kids. In the autumn it's even better. Everything's all golden brown and it looks like something out of a calendar. The boring kind, not the really deeply personal kind like I made for Finn." Quinn recalls the calendar Rachel had made, and has never ceased to find it really, really disturbing. She decides not to mention this however, because she's decided to try being nicer to Rachel. It couldn't hurt to have a friend. A real one. Not just her team mates who felt being nice to her was obligatory, but someone who is kind to her just because she wants to be. Quinn is confident that she'll find that in Rachel "selfless" Berry. So instead of pushing the brunette away with an insult, she just nods. "So what are you doing here? Or were you just following me?"
"Get real, Berry," Quinn says, but her smile takes the sting out of the words. "I think you'll find it's you with the creepy crush on me." Before Rachel can go into an internal panic and flee the scene, she adds, "I've seen you and JewFro fight over me." The brunette heaves a sigh of relief, but it's quickly sucked back in as Quinn leans over conspiratorially into her personal space. "It was kind of hot." Rachel has to remind herself how to breathe. She's just joking, she's just joking, she's joking - these words have instantly become the diva's new mantra, replacing "Someday, I will be a star".
"Well, I'm glad I could help you get your rocks off," she says, when she's finally confident that her voice won't shake or crack.
"I was talking about JewFro," Quinn deadpans, receiving a playful slap from Rachel in response. She grins and shakes her head, "I was here for a business deal." Rachel doesn't have to ask what that means. Quinn was here flogging drugs. Of course she was. The thought fills the brunette with irrational anger, but she doesn't let on. Their friendship, or whatever it is, is still on tentative ground.
Rachel nods, because she doesn't know what to say that won't belie her true feelings. "How about we get out of here, go the mall or something?"
Quinn hesitates, and Rachel wonders if she's taking this too fast. They aren't really friends. After what seems like an eternity, the cheerleader nods. "Okay. But...can we go to one the next town over, I don't-"
"Want to be seen with me," Rachel finishes sadly, "I get it."
"Actually, I was going to say that I'm banned from the local mall. But now that you mention it..."
"Quinn!"
"I was kidding, Berry! Calm down."
"You know, I really hate you sometimes," Rachel tells her companion, although the joke is laced throughout her voice.
Quinn sighs mournfully. "I know."
"Quinn..." Rachel trails off, only now realising that her words were in bad taste.
"Forget it, let's just...whatever. This was a stupid idea anyway," Quinn says abruptly, and just like that all of the walls are back in place and the past five minutes have been erased. She walks away, and Rachel can do nothing but let her.
Author: rainbombz
Rating: R, NC-17, something of that nature.
Warnings: Character death (before and after the start of the story), drugs use, language, sex, perversion of justice - a bit angsty, if you couldn't tell.
Length: ~1400, this part; ~7000, total.
Spoilers: It may have spoilers in future chapters, to whatever the current episode may be at the time of posting. You can work that out. (:
Summary: All she knows is that she can't let Quinn go - not when she's certain that she's the only thing the Cheerio has to cling to.
A/N: Double update day. Yay? [:
Rachel Berry doesn't really think she's gay. In fact, up until last week it was quite positively proven that she was pretty damn straight, complete with hot jock boyfriend and hetero sex. Then Quinn Fabray has to come along and royally fuck that up.
Admittedly, she's never really labelled herself - with two gay men for parents, an open mind is more of a prerequisite than a conscious choice. Before now though, she's never given a relationship with a girl a second thought - or a first thought, even. Although, having said that, she's never considered a real relationship with anyone. Even Noah was just a boy to fill time with until she could move to New York and fall in love with some handsome city boy - after she's won a few roles on Broadway, of course.
So, in her meticulously planned life, there is really no room whatsoever for an attraction to the girl who spent the last three years making her life hell. God, she wishes it worked like that. But it doesn't, and the fact of the matter is that the blonde is beginning to make her heart race. And when she thinks about it, which is every other minute of the day, she can see herself falling in love with her. She can see Broadway pushed aside for some worthless job in Lima, she can see her future husband, derivative of ex-boyfriend Jesse St. James, morph into a teen mother-cum-drug dealer before her eyes, she can see a penthouse suite become a dingy one bedroom affair; and she's oddly okay with this.
It doesn't matter anyway - if the child she gave away and the rubbers in her purse were anything to go by, Rachel would guess that she didn't even have a chance with Quinn. This thought made her heart give an odd twinge, but she pushed it aside. She is going to go to New York and marry that carbon-copy of a perfect man that she had yet to find. She is going to play Elpheba, or Glinda, or Sister Mary Patrick or something. And, when she is scrubbing off green face paint and trying to get the colour out of her nails, she will not be thinking of Quinn Fabray. Never.
Sighing, she rests her head against the chain of the swing she's sitting on. It's been a long time since she came to a children's play park. Too long, she thinks. They're great places for thinking - but she hasn't been doing much of that recently. If she had been, she wouldn't have been with Puck. She would have been caught up in a whirlwind of Lima's crazy underworld. Quinn Fabray was a part of that underworld though, and suddenly she doesn't feel that it's such a bad place to be.
After another few moments contemplation, the girl takes both her cellphone and a crumpled tissue from her pocket. She flattens the napkin across her thigh, running her fingers over the digits roughly printed there. To call or not to call? That is the question. Rachel wants to call, she really does. However, the feeling that Quinn was playing with her isn't buried very far beneath the surface of happiness at the number in her possession.
"You gonna call me or just sit and stare at it?"
The husky whisper dangerously close to her ear almost makes Rachel fall from her seat, but she catches herself before she gets that far, hand on her fast beating heart. Whether it's pumping hard from surprise or from her company, the diva doesn't know. Quinn doesn't seem to notice, straddling the swing beside her own and arching an eyebrow in anticipation of a response. Rachel finally looks up to meet amused hazel eyes, and a slow smirk begins to form on her face. The cheerio watches in confusion as Rachel taps the screen of her iPhone, occasionally looking to the crumpled paper now lying on the asphalt. She's even more confused when she feels the cell in her pocket begin to vibrate.
"Hello?"
"Hey Quinn?"
"Yeah?" the blonde says, looking at the brunette she is now on the phone with with a bemused expression.
"You wanna hang out with me today?"
Quinn giggles innocently, and for a second Rachel can't believe that the other girl can be a drug dealer, let alone at the heart of the Lima drug scene. The cheerleader pauses, biting her lip shyly in a way that makes Rachel swoon. Could this girl be more adorable? Well, probably if she was less of a bitch, but the star's willing to let that slide. "I...I think I'd like that."
If it was possible, Rachel's grin became even wider. "I have no idea what to say now. This conversation seems to have reached it's penultimate turning point in which you agreed to spend time with me where I would usually ask to arrrange a time of place and meeting but you're already here and I'm here and I should really just say bye and-"
"Berry? Please hang up now." Rachel flushes and does as asked, the tiny smile on her companion's face the only thing stopping her face from bursting into flames of embarrassment. "So what are you doing here?" Quinn asks in an effort to make conversation, while avoiding the subject the gleek has been trying to broach for the past week.
"Just thinking. It's nice here, right? With all the trees and the little kids. In the autumn it's even better. Everything's all golden brown and it looks like something out of a calendar. The boring kind, not the really deeply personal kind like I made for Finn." Quinn recalls the calendar Rachel had made, and has never ceased to find it really, really disturbing. She decides not to mention this however, because she's decided to try being nicer to Rachel. It couldn't hurt to have a friend. A real one. Not just her team mates who felt being nice to her was obligatory, but someone who is kind to her just because she wants to be. Quinn is confident that she'll find that in Rachel "selfless" Berry. So instead of pushing the brunette away with an insult, she just nods. "So what are you doing here? Or were you just following me?"
"Get real, Berry," Quinn says, but her smile takes the sting out of the words. "I think you'll find it's you with the creepy crush on me." Before Rachel can go into an internal panic and flee the scene, she adds, "I've seen you and JewFro fight over me." The brunette heaves a sigh of relief, but it's quickly sucked back in as Quinn leans over conspiratorially into her personal space. "It was kind of hot." Rachel has to remind herself how to breathe. She's just joking, she's just joking, she's joking - these words have instantly become the diva's new mantra, replacing "Someday, I will be a star".
"Well, I'm glad I could help you get your rocks off," she says, when she's finally confident that her voice won't shake or crack.
"I was talking about JewFro," Quinn deadpans, receiving a playful slap from Rachel in response. She grins and shakes her head, "I was here for a business deal." Rachel doesn't have to ask what that means. Quinn was here flogging drugs. Of course she was. The thought fills the brunette with irrational anger, but she doesn't let on. Their friendship, or whatever it is, is still on tentative ground.
Rachel nods, because she doesn't know what to say that won't belie her true feelings. "How about we get out of here, go the mall or something?"
Quinn hesitates, and Rachel wonders if she's taking this too fast. They aren't really friends. After what seems like an eternity, the cheerleader nods. "Okay. But...can we go to one the next town over, I don't-"
"Want to be seen with me," Rachel finishes sadly, "I get it."
"Actually, I was going to say that I'm banned from the local mall. But now that you mention it..."
"Quinn!"
"I was kidding, Berry! Calm down."
"You know, I really hate you sometimes," Rachel tells her companion, although the joke is laced throughout her voice.
Quinn sighs mournfully. "I know."
"Quinn..." Rachel trails off, only now realising that her words were in bad taste.
"Forget it, let's just...whatever. This was a stupid idea anyway," Quinn says abruptly, and just like that all of the walls are back in place and the past five minutes have been erased. She walks away, and Rachel can do nothing but let her.