The marathon and the letting go
I completed the Singapore Marathon 42.195km in 4hours and 37minutes! I could not believe that I could beat my last year's timing. This year, the sun was blazing and it was so hot at certain parts. Last year was a breeze as it was cloudy the whole way. The good thing about this year is that the starting time was brought forward to 530am. That allowed us to be running in the dawn for a longer time, covering longer distance in the coolness of the morning. BUT some people already smell so bad!!! GOODNESS!!! some ran pass me and I was like... WHAT BAD B.O.! (esp the ang mohs)
Along the way, I had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to ponder. We had many wonderful and beautiful memories. Memories that I never thought that I would have a chance to experience. And it will be that way. Forever. That made me smile a lot. I think I was practically smiling throughout the run except for the last 6km. The coming to the end mixed feelings. The physical and emotional pain combined. It was torture but I told myself that I will prove my love had actually lived by finishing the race running.
Along the way, there were many deep heat stations but I refused to apply any deep heat on myself. I knew that it might help somewhat. But I wanted to feel the pain all the way. No Anaesthesia.
BUt it is time for me to let go and move on.
I told myself that if I could finish this in under 5 hours. I would. If that is possible then letting go is possible also. The kind of physical pain I was experiencing is nothing compared to the emotional heartache I went through over the last few weeks. The pain still lingers but it will slowly but surely lessen day by day. Sometimes, I will catch myself thinking that certain good things are happening to me once I made a mental decision to let go. Like the Japan trip, it is such a BONUS!!! All expenses paid! my FIRST time to Japan!!! I am just glad of these little exciting moments to brighten my gloomy days. It does help lessen the pain some bit. Thank you!
Now I am resting at home with 3 bruised toes, both my legs are aching and every step I take now is in pain. I just woke up from a 15hour sleep. I did not even eat dinner last night.
It was a real sense of fulfillment to cross the finish line but it was not a feeling of triumph this year. The journey towards the finishing line was fun and filled with lots of pretty sights, the landmarks of Singapore, the East Coast Park, the many places I have been before and the new Singapore Flier. They were all beautiful! But the last leg of the race was a torture. So I guess I had in some way made a comparison or more a link between my relationship and my race together. I had made a pact with myself on the race and now I must keep my promise. It will be difficult but I have come so far. I will go further. Maybe someday in the future, something might get rekindled. But let me leave that to the future. NOW!!! I will just look forward to my trip to JAPAN!!!
The funny thing is I will fly off almost the same time that my parents touch down in Singapore from Vietnam so I wont see my lovely parents for another 4 days.
Along the way, I had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to ponder. We had many wonderful and beautiful memories. Memories that I never thought that I would have a chance to experience. And it will be that way. Forever. That made me smile a lot. I think I was practically smiling throughout the run except for the last 6km. The coming to the end mixed feelings. The physical and emotional pain combined. It was torture but I told myself that I will prove my love had actually lived by finishing the race running.
Along the way, there were many deep heat stations but I refused to apply any deep heat on myself. I knew that it might help somewhat. But I wanted to feel the pain all the way. No Anaesthesia.
BUt it is time for me to let go and move on.
I told myself that if I could finish this in under 5 hours. I would. If that is possible then letting go is possible also. The kind of physical pain I was experiencing is nothing compared to the emotional heartache I went through over the last few weeks. The pain still lingers but it will slowly but surely lessen day by day. Sometimes, I will catch myself thinking that certain good things are happening to me once I made a mental decision to let go. Like the Japan trip, it is such a BONUS!!! All expenses paid! my FIRST time to Japan!!! I am just glad of these little exciting moments to brighten my gloomy days. It does help lessen the pain some bit. Thank you!
Now I am resting at home with 3 bruised toes, both my legs are aching and every step I take now is in pain. I just woke up from a 15hour sleep. I did not even eat dinner last night.
It was a real sense of fulfillment to cross the finish line but it was not a feeling of triumph this year. The journey towards the finishing line was fun and filled with lots of pretty sights, the landmarks of Singapore, the East Coast Park, the many places I have been before and the new Singapore Flier. They were all beautiful! But the last leg of the race was a torture. So I guess I had in some way made a comparison or more a link between my relationship and my race together. I had made a pact with myself on the race and now I must keep my promise. It will be difficult but I have come so far. I will go further. Maybe someday in the future, something might get rekindled. But let me leave that to the future. NOW!!! I will just look forward to my trip to JAPAN!!!
The funny thing is I will fly off almost the same time that my parents touch down in Singapore from Vietnam so I wont see my lovely parents for another 4 days.