I've looked at life that way...
So.
It's most definitely been awhile. But since nobody but me reads this anyway, it's no bigs. Also, since nobody but me reads it, you think I'd be a little less cryptic. I literally do not remember who or what some posts are about. But I need to just write everything out right now, so here's probably a major life update, as far as LJ goes.
First off, I am a cosmetics merchandiser. Cosmetics. I do not even understand what half of the products in my department do, or how you use them. Creams and lotions (there is a difference!), and foundation, and primer and mascara and fragrance and nail glue and just everything. And the whole department is mine. There's a manager and there's a team of cosmeticians and me. Manager manages, cosmeticians sell, I fill and clean and organize and set up and take down and everything. I don't know what half of my job is, and every time I finally get a handle on one part, they throw a new section at me. The girl who did my job before had me as an assistant, but when they fired her, apparently I can do it on my own. With no experience.
Never before in my life have I just stepped back and said 'this is all I can do' but this job is throwing that in my face every day. I could, if I wanted, stay late every night, get everything perfect and done. But I wouldn't be getting paid for it and this job is not worth it. This is not my career.
I don't know what that is going to be yet. I want something different, something hands on, something I don't have to know a lot about. Trades are where I seem to be headed with that, but I can't find one I'm interested in that would get me far enough. There has been a job opening at NS Crystal a few times now and I have applied each time. I wouldn't even feel bad if I left SDM in the lurch with nobody. Everytime I do something well, the time I took to do it is questioned, and why didn't I do this? Why isn't this done? I'll job hop a few more times, hopefully get paid some, and either use the position to transfer somewhere and start again in a new city, or finally figure out what I want to do.
It's kind of nice that I can think about doing that. I have no ties, nothing holding me here. Friends, of course, but I could make those anywhere. I'm quiet and shy, but I open up. I know I can live on my own (a month today!) so that wouldn't be a problem. I can buckle down and do just about anything I set my mind to. So maybe that is what's right for me. Either get the job at NS Crystal and move up until I'm making decent money, and doing something that I hopefully enjoy, or power through this cosmetics thing until I turn it good, and use that to get me a position at another Shoppers in another city. Where I either do it again, or find a new job! I think that's my vague life goal right now. I need to see something else, live something else.
Otherwise I'm very happy. I feel happy. I wake up and I don't think upsetting things. I have a girl I'm texting, getting to know, who seems to be a beautiful person, genuinely good, who I like, who likes me. Distance is a bit of a problem, but right now that's getting ahead of everything. It's simple. We talk because we like it. It's not complicated. But besides her, I've been getting out on my bike, and getting around. I like getting up, and having things to do.
(I'm going to visit this girl on Sunday. I'm super excited. I'm hoping I don't lame it up. Which would be typical, but I guess that's just who I am. I'm even cool with that, right now.)
Anyway, it's almost 2 in the morning. I'm going to go to sleep. I'll wake up, I'll cook a decent breakfast, and I'll go out for a ride. Come home, do some laundry, maybe snuggle Mikey a bit.
I feel good.
:)
<3
It's most definitely been awhile. But since nobody but me reads this anyway, it's no bigs. Also, since nobody but me reads it, you think I'd be a little less cryptic. I literally do not remember who or what some posts are about. But I need to just write everything out right now, so here's probably a major life update, as far as LJ goes.
First off, I am a cosmetics merchandiser. Cosmetics. I do not even understand what half of the products in my department do, or how you use them. Creams and lotions (there is a difference!), and foundation, and primer and mascara and fragrance and nail glue and just everything. And the whole department is mine. There's a manager and there's a team of cosmeticians and me. Manager manages, cosmeticians sell, I fill and clean and organize and set up and take down and everything. I don't know what half of my job is, and every time I finally get a handle on one part, they throw a new section at me. The girl who did my job before had me as an assistant, but when they fired her, apparently I can do it on my own. With no experience.
Never before in my life have I just stepped back and said 'this is all I can do' but this job is throwing that in my face every day. I could, if I wanted, stay late every night, get everything perfect and done. But I wouldn't be getting paid for it and this job is not worth it. This is not my career.
I don't know what that is going to be yet. I want something different, something hands on, something I don't have to know a lot about. Trades are where I seem to be headed with that, but I can't find one I'm interested in that would get me far enough. There has been a job opening at NS Crystal a few times now and I have applied each time. I wouldn't even feel bad if I left SDM in the lurch with nobody. Everytime I do something well, the time I took to do it is questioned, and why didn't I do this? Why isn't this done? I'll job hop a few more times, hopefully get paid some, and either use the position to transfer somewhere and start again in a new city, or finally figure out what I want to do.
It's kind of nice that I can think about doing that. I have no ties, nothing holding me here. Friends, of course, but I could make those anywhere. I'm quiet and shy, but I open up. I know I can live on my own (a month today!) so that wouldn't be a problem. I can buckle down and do just about anything I set my mind to. So maybe that is what's right for me. Either get the job at NS Crystal and move up until I'm making decent money, and doing something that I hopefully enjoy, or power through this cosmetics thing until I turn it good, and use that to get me a position at another Shoppers in another city. Where I either do it again, or find a new job! I think that's my vague life goal right now. I need to see something else, live something else.
Otherwise I'm very happy. I feel happy. I wake up and I don't think upsetting things. I have a girl I'm texting, getting to know, who seems to be a beautiful person, genuinely good, who I like, who likes me. Distance is a bit of a problem, but right now that's getting ahead of everything. It's simple. We talk because we like it. It's not complicated. But besides her, I've been getting out on my bike, and getting around. I like getting up, and having things to do.
(I'm going to visit this girl on Sunday. I'm super excited. I'm hoping I don't lame it up. Which would be typical, but I guess that's just who I am. I'm even cool with that, right now.)
Anyway, it's almost 2 in the morning. I'm going to go to sleep. I'll wake up, I'll cook a decent breakfast, and I'll go out for a ride. Come home, do some laundry, maybe snuggle Mikey a bit.
I feel good.
:)
<3