Advent challenge; fic 16.
Title: Another Fine Mess
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Tonks is sure she's gotten herself into a right mess when she overhears Remus telling Sirius that she's just a friend. But have her feelings for him really made as much of a mess of things as she thought?
Characters/ Pairings: Remus/Tonks, Sirius
Prompt: "Another Fine Mess"- this fic was originally written for astrophelind for a gift exchange over at hogwartsishome
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: pg
Word count: 2178
Another fine mess.
That was exactly what Tonks had, yet again, found herself in. She wasn’t quite sure why it always seemed to happen to her. She was sure there must be something mentally deficient in her brain; only she couldn’t let Sirius hear her mumble that to herself, or she’d never hear the end of it. But she couldn’t help it. Here she was again, falling in love with the wrong person.
And she knew he didn’t like her back. Not romantically at least. No, Remus was friendly to her, but that was all he considered her to be. A friend. And she knew it was true, because she’d overheard him telling Sirius just as much.
She hadn’t meant to overhear, really. She’d been looking for Remus, because... well... she wasn’t quite sure why. Probably she was going to ask him about some book or other and let him go on and on and on about it, just to hear his voice and his enthusiasm. It amused her how enthusiastic he was about books; although she supposed after everything he’d been through he didn’t really have much else. But it had been quite by chance that she had been about to knock on his bedroom door only to find it wide open.
And, unfortunately, he wasn’t alone inside.
She had flung herself against the wall when she heard Sirius mention her name, her face going beet red. What on earth was he doing, talking to Remus about her? She had a sneaking suspicion that Sirius knew she liked Remus; too often she had caught him shaking his head or laughing at her out of the corner of her eye while she was talking or sitting with Remus.
“I don’t know where you’ve been getting your information, Sirius. Nymphadora is a friend, that's all.”
“Oh.” Sirius sounded disappointed, in contrast to Remus’ exasperation. “That's all rather dull, the version I heard was much more exciting.”
“I don’t care how exciting it was, it’s not the truth. She’s just a friend!”
Sirius was silent for a moment, and Tonks almost considered sneaking away.
“I'm not sure she wants to be just friends.”
She could have sunk into the ground right then. He did know! She was dead, he’d just told Remus... she hadn’t been planning on telling him unless he told her first, which was so unlikely... she thought he would think her ridiculous; Remus was always telling her that the right young man was out there for her somewhere, and she didn’t think he included himself in that category. And she knew he would be too polite to push his feelings on her unless he knew they were returned. So really, she hadn’t intended for him to ever find out.
“Really?” Remus sounded genuinely surprised. “Are you sure?”
“Very sure. Trust me.”
Tonks took a step back, and the floor creaked.
Cursing silently, she had just enough time to step into the next room before Sirius put his head out. She could still hear them through the wall though.
“Just... let her down easy, wont you? She doesn’t have the best record with relationships, we don’t need her thinking that even the nice guys are arses.”
“Oh, yes, of course, of course...” She heard them leave the room and head down the stairs. Taking a deep breath, she let her shaky legs give in and slid to the ground.
They both knew. Remus knew. And what was worse was that she had been right. Before, there had always been the possibility that she was wrong; that he secretly liked her too. But not anymore. Now she knew that in his eyes, they were friends, and nothing more.
She didn’t want to lose him though. So she would have to act accordingly. Like a friend.
Pulling herself together, she headed down to the kitchen.
Being friendly was a lot easier than she had anticipated. As long as she didn’t stare at him, she was fine. But he seemed slightly awkward; he was sitting stiffly, knuckles white around his cup of tea. She hoped he didn’t think she would do anything inappropriate in public; she wasn’t quite as outgoing when it came to relationships as she was in everything else in life. She would rather that he made the first move; she definitely wasn’t the sort of person to do anything more than light flirting until she knew he would be responsive.
He was hardly speaking; deep in thought, he only looked up from his cup a few times when someone spoke directly to him. He answered even less. Apparently a nod or shake was meant to suffice. She wasn’t sure if she was the only one who felt the awkwardness; Sirius wasn’t acting like it was awkward, and she supposed it wouldn’t be if she hadn’t overheard their conversation.
But she had. And the disappointment she should have expected was eating her up inside, and she just needed to get out of there.
She stood abruptly, excusing herself and tripping over several chairs on her way out. Face bright red, she closed the door shut behind her, leaning against the cool wood. It was just a crush. Just a stupid, stupid crush that she needed to get over if she was going to be able to do her work for the order properly and without distraction.
Sighing, she headed upstairs, lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t realise the door had opened until he called out to her.
“Nymphadora!”
She turned to see Remus closing the door behind him, and waited for him to join her on the stairs.
“Are you... okay?” he stuffed his hands in his cardigan pockets, his unkempt hair falling in his face in that familiar way she had come to adore.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” She prayed that he wasn’t about to “let her down easy” as Sirius had told him to. She didn’t want to hear it. She’d rather suffer alone in silence.
“You just left rather abruptly, I thought I’d check that you’re not feeling poorly or anything.”
“Oh! Oh yes, I'm fine, bit of a headache is all. Might lie down for a bit.” She smiled weakly, hoping that was lie enough to fool him.
“Right. I couldn’t... just have a quick word, could I?”
Oh shit. Bugger. Crap. Shit. No. No no no!
“Sure!” her heart was pounding so loudly as he led her into a spare bedroom, she was surprised he didn’t mention it. It was reverberating in her ears and was all she could hear.
He didn’t speak straight away. Instead, he pulled a chair out of the corner, facing it backwards to her and sitting, resting his arms on the wooden back, looking at her intensely. She stood awkwardly in the open doorway, fiddling with a hole in her jacket.
“I was talking to Sirius this morning.” He said finally. When she didn’t respond, he ploughed on. “He said that you might- and I don’t know where he gets his information from, it could be wrong- he said that you might have...feelings for me.”
She looked away, at the wall on her right as the butterflies in her stomach grew more and more intense.
“Nymphadora? Is he... is he right?” He didn’t sound aghast, or angry. A little nervous maybe; but mostly she thought he sounded curious.
She didn’t trust herself to speak, in case everything just tumbled out in a horrific embarrassing mess. Instead, still not looking at him, she nodded. There. She’d done it. Now he knew.
When she finally glanced up, he was staring at the ground in front of him, brow furrowed and biting his lip. Sighing, he looked up. “Nymphadora, I'm very flattered, but really you should-”
She didn’t need to hear this from him.
“I know, you just want to be friends. I get it, okay? I heard you and Sirius talking this morning.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. So save your breath, I don’t want to hear it all again. I get it, I won’t bother you. I'm sure ill get over it.”
She was angry with herself for being so upset about it all. She had known that nothing could really come of it. She was used to people letting her down in the romance department; so how was this new? Why had she thought that Remus would be some sort of exception to the rule?
Trying not to look too angry she turned to leave, but she heard the scraping of his chair and his hand curled around her arm just as she had reached the door.
“No, Dora you’ve got it all wrong, please-”
She froze.
He’d called her Dora. No one ever called her that; well, except for her Dad. But Remus had never called her that before.
“Wrong?” she finally spoke, turning and pulling her arm out of his grasp. “How have I got it wrong? I heard you tell Sirius we were just friends, and when he said that he thought I wanted to be more and to let me down easy, you said you would. What have I got wrong about all of that?”
She didn’t understand. He was shaking his head, a small grin on his face.
“Dora... you shouldn’t always listen to what you hear me tell Sirius.”
Now she was even more confused. Surely he didn’t mean he’d lied to his best friend?
“I... but... why are you calling me Dora? No one calls me that.”
He suddenly looked worried. “Don’t you like it? It’s just, you hate Nymphadora, and I refuse to call you by your last name, so-”
“No, no it’s fine! It’s just, I mean, you weren’t calling me that before and now all of a sudden you are, and I'm not entirely sure why...” blushing, she shut her mouth before she rambled anymore.
He shrugged. “Got your attention, didn’t it?”
That it had. She gave a small, quick smile.
“Look... I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Sirius has a rather big mouth. I tend not to tell him important things unless I'm telling everyone anymore. I learnt the hard way that he can’t keep a secret to save his life.”
Tonks frowned. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
He stepped forward, straightening her jacket. “I mean,” he said, eyes on his hands and he pulled a loose thread of her shoulder, “that I wasn’t about to tell Sirius anything until I was sure about how you felt. You’ve given a lot of mixed signals, and I ... I wasn’t sure.”
“Mixed signals?” She laughed weakly. “What about you? You’re the bloody king of mixed signals!”
He smiled. “I know. I apologise. I'm not really that well... practiced, in the romance area.”
She nodded. She knew the feeling. While she was sure she’d had a lot more partners than he had, none of hers had really ended that well.
“Hang on. You just said that you were flattered, but I really should... really should what?”
He looked up at her. “Look for someone younger. Someone with less baggage. Someone with more money who could look after you. Someone less dangerous. Someone who isn’t me.”
Her heart sunk. “Does that mean you don’t like me then?”
“No. It means that if anything happens between us, it’s against my better judgement. But I never had good judgment to begin with.”
“You do... like me?” she asked slowly.
He smiled. “I can’t help it. I tried not to, but I couldn’t. You’re beautiful, and intelligent... you’re perfect.”
She shook her head. “I’m not perfect, Remus. No one is.”
“Well, you’re very close.” Softly, he leaned forward, brushing a strand of pink hair behind her ear.
Now or never, she thought. (Never mind that wasn’t entirely true, from what he was saying it sounded like she would have plenty of opportunity, but now was a good a time as any.)
She grabbed the unbuttoned edges of his scruffy cardigan and pulled him closer, stood up on tiptoe and kissed him.
She could feel his surprise for the first second or two; but then his arms wrapped around her, and the pressure of his lips against hers deepened. He lifted her off her feet, stumbling backwards, and she was only able to touch the ground again when he fell back against the wall.
She had dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it was happening... it was better than she ever could have imagined it.
After what could have been minutes, or hours, or even days, Remus pulled away.
“I... I should go back downstairs. Sirius might come looking for us otherwise.”
“Of course, yeah.” She stepped back, letting him pass.
“Ill see you later then?”
A small smirk spread across her face. “Oh, you will most definitely be seeing me later.”
The door shut behind him. Waiting till she could hear him going down the stairs, she exhaled before fist pumping the air.
“YES!”
Maybe she hadn’t gotten herself into such a dreadful mess after all.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Tonks is sure she's gotten herself into a right mess when she overhears Remus telling Sirius that she's just a friend. But have her feelings for him really made as much of a mess of things as she thought?
Characters/ Pairings: Remus/Tonks, Sirius
Prompt: "Another Fine Mess"- this fic was originally written for astrophelind for a gift exchange over at hogwartsishome
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: pg
Word count: 2178
Another fine mess.
That was exactly what Tonks had, yet again, found herself in. She wasn’t quite sure why it always seemed to happen to her. She was sure there must be something mentally deficient in her brain; only she couldn’t let Sirius hear her mumble that to herself, or she’d never hear the end of it. But she couldn’t help it. Here she was again, falling in love with the wrong person.
And she knew he didn’t like her back. Not romantically at least. No, Remus was friendly to her, but that was all he considered her to be. A friend. And she knew it was true, because she’d overheard him telling Sirius just as much.
She hadn’t meant to overhear, really. She’d been looking for Remus, because... well... she wasn’t quite sure why. Probably she was going to ask him about some book or other and let him go on and on and on about it, just to hear his voice and his enthusiasm. It amused her how enthusiastic he was about books; although she supposed after everything he’d been through he didn’t really have much else. But it had been quite by chance that she had been about to knock on his bedroom door only to find it wide open.
And, unfortunately, he wasn’t alone inside.
She had flung herself against the wall when she heard Sirius mention her name, her face going beet red. What on earth was he doing, talking to Remus about her? She had a sneaking suspicion that Sirius knew she liked Remus; too often she had caught him shaking his head or laughing at her out of the corner of her eye while she was talking or sitting with Remus.
“I don’t know where you’ve been getting your information, Sirius. Nymphadora is a friend, that's all.”
“Oh.” Sirius sounded disappointed, in contrast to Remus’ exasperation. “That's all rather dull, the version I heard was much more exciting.”
“I don’t care how exciting it was, it’s not the truth. She’s just a friend!”
Sirius was silent for a moment, and Tonks almost considered sneaking away.
“I'm not sure she wants to be just friends.”
She could have sunk into the ground right then. He did know! She was dead, he’d just told Remus... she hadn’t been planning on telling him unless he told her first, which was so unlikely... she thought he would think her ridiculous; Remus was always telling her that the right young man was out there for her somewhere, and she didn’t think he included himself in that category. And she knew he would be too polite to push his feelings on her unless he knew they were returned. So really, she hadn’t intended for him to ever find out.
“Really?” Remus sounded genuinely surprised. “Are you sure?”
“Very sure. Trust me.”
Tonks took a step back, and the floor creaked.
Cursing silently, she had just enough time to step into the next room before Sirius put his head out. She could still hear them through the wall though.
“Just... let her down easy, wont you? She doesn’t have the best record with relationships, we don’t need her thinking that even the nice guys are arses.”
“Oh, yes, of course, of course...” She heard them leave the room and head down the stairs. Taking a deep breath, she let her shaky legs give in and slid to the ground.
They both knew. Remus knew. And what was worse was that she had been right. Before, there had always been the possibility that she was wrong; that he secretly liked her too. But not anymore. Now she knew that in his eyes, they were friends, and nothing more.
She didn’t want to lose him though. So she would have to act accordingly. Like a friend.
Pulling herself together, she headed down to the kitchen.
Being friendly was a lot easier than she had anticipated. As long as she didn’t stare at him, she was fine. But he seemed slightly awkward; he was sitting stiffly, knuckles white around his cup of tea. She hoped he didn’t think she would do anything inappropriate in public; she wasn’t quite as outgoing when it came to relationships as she was in everything else in life. She would rather that he made the first move; she definitely wasn’t the sort of person to do anything more than light flirting until she knew he would be responsive.
He was hardly speaking; deep in thought, he only looked up from his cup a few times when someone spoke directly to him. He answered even less. Apparently a nod or shake was meant to suffice. She wasn’t sure if she was the only one who felt the awkwardness; Sirius wasn’t acting like it was awkward, and she supposed it wouldn’t be if she hadn’t overheard their conversation.
But she had. And the disappointment she should have expected was eating her up inside, and she just needed to get out of there.
She stood abruptly, excusing herself and tripping over several chairs on her way out. Face bright red, she closed the door shut behind her, leaning against the cool wood. It was just a crush. Just a stupid, stupid crush that she needed to get over if she was going to be able to do her work for the order properly and without distraction.
Sighing, she headed upstairs, lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t realise the door had opened until he called out to her.
“Nymphadora!”
She turned to see Remus closing the door behind him, and waited for him to join her on the stairs.
“Are you... okay?” he stuffed his hands in his cardigan pockets, his unkempt hair falling in his face in that familiar way she had come to adore.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” She prayed that he wasn’t about to “let her down easy” as Sirius had told him to. She didn’t want to hear it. She’d rather suffer alone in silence.
“You just left rather abruptly, I thought I’d check that you’re not feeling poorly or anything.”
“Oh! Oh yes, I'm fine, bit of a headache is all. Might lie down for a bit.” She smiled weakly, hoping that was lie enough to fool him.
“Right. I couldn’t... just have a quick word, could I?”
Oh shit. Bugger. Crap. Shit. No. No no no!
“Sure!” her heart was pounding so loudly as he led her into a spare bedroom, she was surprised he didn’t mention it. It was reverberating in her ears and was all she could hear.
He didn’t speak straight away. Instead, he pulled a chair out of the corner, facing it backwards to her and sitting, resting his arms on the wooden back, looking at her intensely. She stood awkwardly in the open doorway, fiddling with a hole in her jacket.
“I was talking to Sirius this morning.” He said finally. When she didn’t respond, he ploughed on. “He said that you might- and I don’t know where he gets his information from, it could be wrong- he said that you might have...feelings for me.”
She looked away, at the wall on her right as the butterflies in her stomach grew more and more intense.
“Nymphadora? Is he... is he right?” He didn’t sound aghast, or angry. A little nervous maybe; but mostly she thought he sounded curious.
She didn’t trust herself to speak, in case everything just tumbled out in a horrific embarrassing mess. Instead, still not looking at him, she nodded. There. She’d done it. Now he knew.
When she finally glanced up, he was staring at the ground in front of him, brow furrowed and biting his lip. Sighing, he looked up. “Nymphadora, I'm very flattered, but really you should-”
She didn’t need to hear this from him.
“I know, you just want to be friends. I get it, okay? I heard you and Sirius talking this morning.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. So save your breath, I don’t want to hear it all again. I get it, I won’t bother you. I'm sure ill get over it.”
She was angry with herself for being so upset about it all. She had known that nothing could really come of it. She was used to people letting her down in the romance department; so how was this new? Why had she thought that Remus would be some sort of exception to the rule?
Trying not to look too angry she turned to leave, but she heard the scraping of his chair and his hand curled around her arm just as she had reached the door.
“No, Dora you’ve got it all wrong, please-”
She froze.
He’d called her Dora. No one ever called her that; well, except for her Dad. But Remus had never called her that before.
“Wrong?” she finally spoke, turning and pulling her arm out of his grasp. “How have I got it wrong? I heard you tell Sirius we were just friends, and when he said that he thought I wanted to be more and to let me down easy, you said you would. What have I got wrong about all of that?”
She didn’t understand. He was shaking his head, a small grin on his face.
“Dora... you shouldn’t always listen to what you hear me tell Sirius.”
Now she was even more confused. Surely he didn’t mean he’d lied to his best friend?
“I... but... why are you calling me Dora? No one calls me that.”
He suddenly looked worried. “Don’t you like it? It’s just, you hate Nymphadora, and I refuse to call you by your last name, so-”
“No, no it’s fine! It’s just, I mean, you weren’t calling me that before and now all of a sudden you are, and I'm not entirely sure why...” blushing, she shut her mouth before she rambled anymore.
He shrugged. “Got your attention, didn’t it?”
That it had. She gave a small, quick smile.
“Look... I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Sirius has a rather big mouth. I tend not to tell him important things unless I'm telling everyone anymore. I learnt the hard way that he can’t keep a secret to save his life.”
Tonks frowned. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
He stepped forward, straightening her jacket. “I mean,” he said, eyes on his hands and he pulled a loose thread of her shoulder, “that I wasn’t about to tell Sirius anything until I was sure about how you felt. You’ve given a lot of mixed signals, and I ... I wasn’t sure.”
“Mixed signals?” She laughed weakly. “What about you? You’re the bloody king of mixed signals!”
He smiled. “I know. I apologise. I'm not really that well... practiced, in the romance area.”
She nodded. She knew the feeling. While she was sure she’d had a lot more partners than he had, none of hers had really ended that well.
“Hang on. You just said that you were flattered, but I really should... really should what?”
He looked up at her. “Look for someone younger. Someone with less baggage. Someone with more money who could look after you. Someone less dangerous. Someone who isn’t me.”
Her heart sunk. “Does that mean you don’t like me then?”
“No. It means that if anything happens between us, it’s against my better judgement. But I never had good judgment to begin with.”
“You do... like me?” she asked slowly.
He smiled. “I can’t help it. I tried not to, but I couldn’t. You’re beautiful, and intelligent... you’re perfect.”
She shook her head. “I’m not perfect, Remus. No one is.”
“Well, you’re very close.” Softly, he leaned forward, brushing a strand of pink hair behind her ear.
Now or never, she thought. (Never mind that wasn’t entirely true, from what he was saying it sounded like she would have plenty of opportunity, but now was a good a time as any.)
She grabbed the unbuttoned edges of his scruffy cardigan and pulled him closer, stood up on tiptoe and kissed him.
She could feel his surprise for the first second or two; but then his arms wrapped around her, and the pressure of his lips against hers deepened. He lifted her off her feet, stumbling backwards, and she was only able to touch the ground again when he fell back against the wall.
She had dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it was happening... it was better than she ever could have imagined it.
After what could have been minutes, or hours, or even days, Remus pulled away.
“I... I should go back downstairs. Sirius might come looking for us otherwise.”
“Of course, yeah.” She stepped back, letting him pass.
“Ill see you later then?”
A small smirk spread across her face. “Oh, you will most definitely be seeing me later.”
The door shut behind him. Waiting till she could hear him going down the stairs, she exhaled before fist pumping the air.
“YES!”
Maybe she hadn’t gotten herself into such a dreadful mess after all.