battling it out with your own mind
*slaps self*
why do we always find the things that are harder to reach , more attractive.. than the thing right in front of us?
why is it that we love drama so much? I mean.. even if we say we hate it... but we face it everyday.. and subconciously, whether we like it or not, we tend to cause problems for ourselves just for that feeling of danger, that rush.
you know what im saying?
Its like... when life goes so smoothly.. when everything is calm and peaceful, our minds get restless....
it tosses and turns.... waits for any open opportunity to cause choas, to make trouble, to stir up problems.
I think i've abandonment issues.
Just childhood issues popping up and making me who i am.
but thats no excuse.
I really hate what goes on in my head a lot of times. It's like a whole different identity. I have internal arguments with myself all the time. When i get so sick and tired, i'd just go "shut the fuck up *slaps brain*"
comical as it sounds... its quite fustrating.. cuz the irony is that.. it WONT shut up.. its part of ourselves...
Sometimes we want to stop thinking all together, to calm our minds... to have perfect silence in the mind. Alas, it doesn't work that way.
However still our bodies may we. However quiet we make ourselves, our minds will be awake and wandering. Thoughts bubbling up, memories creeping in, abstract images play in the background like an empty cinema that is our mind.
Havn't you ever wanted to have an absolute peace of mind? To get away from this crazy messed up world. To shut off all mechanisms in our body and let ourselves go.
haha... I sound so... zen.
*sigh* but with all honesty. I think we're just too busy with our lives sometimes to notice these things. I do wander from time to time however...
I guess thats why god builds us so we have to sleep. When we sleep, its a temporary escape from the chaotic world. However good or bad, its taking a break from our daily obligations.
why do we always find the things that are harder to reach , more attractive.. than the thing right in front of us?
why is it that we love drama so much? I mean.. even if we say we hate it... but we face it everyday.. and subconciously, whether we like it or not, we tend to cause problems for ourselves just for that feeling of danger, that rush.
you know what im saying?
Its like... when life goes so smoothly.. when everything is calm and peaceful, our minds get restless....
it tosses and turns.... waits for any open opportunity to cause choas, to make trouble, to stir up problems.
I think i've abandonment issues.
Just childhood issues popping up and making me who i am.
but thats no excuse.
I really hate what goes on in my head a lot of times. It's like a whole different identity. I have internal arguments with myself all the time. When i get so sick and tired, i'd just go "shut the fuck up *slaps brain*"
comical as it sounds... its quite fustrating.. cuz the irony is that.. it WONT shut up.. its part of ourselves...
Sometimes we want to stop thinking all together, to calm our minds... to have perfect silence in the mind. Alas, it doesn't work that way.
However still our bodies may we. However quiet we make ourselves, our minds will be awake and wandering. Thoughts bubbling up, memories creeping in, abstract images play in the background like an empty cinema that is our mind.
Havn't you ever wanted to have an absolute peace of mind? To get away from this crazy messed up world. To shut off all mechanisms in our body and let ourselves go.
haha... I sound so... zen.
*sigh* but with all honesty. I think we're just too busy with our lives sometimes to notice these things. I do wander from time to time however...
I guess thats why god builds us so we have to sleep. When we sleep, its a temporary escape from the chaotic world. However good or bad, its taking a break from our daily obligations.