Yesterday
I didn't get around to posting so, I'm posting my thoughts yesterday today. Since I like the mood icons so much this will once again be seperate from today's entry. Yesterday I went to karate. I was late so, I felt bad to begin with. Then I had to stand on the side by the door and windows instead of by the wall where I usually am. So, I felt really uncomfortable. Then, he told us to practice whatever form we wanted to. I don't know if anything I know falls under a form but, I figured he just wanted me to practice what I knew. I'mn the only white belt thoguh and I felt so inferior and I got nervous and cried again and just stood there not knowing what to do. The teacher came over and asked me if I 'wanted to be here'. So, yeah, that made me feel like crud. Of course, I told him I wanted too. It really sucks to try to learn something you really want to do but, you just can't. My dad said he thinks I should have my dosage altered. He said the situation 'bites' with the entire would-love-to-do-martial-arts-but-am-afraid-of-people-thing. Then, my dad was late so I sat outside in the cold until the lady there told me to call him and wait inside. My dad was in traffic. I sat there and thought about how it was one of those days when everything seemed so hopeless, ect., ect. Thought about suicide/cutting ect. Felt very ashamed of myself. My cat cut my leg and it looks like a roman numeral 4. My mood if I had posted yesterday when I got home: