A Glass Half Full
I’ll always protect you so we remain the way we are now. Even when you’re feeling exhausted and hurt and pained… all you have to do is lean on me-always.
♥♥♥♥♥
Kangin looks out the window, contemplating his future for what must have been the thousandth time that day. Has he made the right decision? Is he ready for this?
Sighing, Kangin leaves his seat by the window to fetch a cup of water. He considers grabbing a few snacks as well but ultimately decides against it. Over the past few months, he had been eating a lot to forget everything. The once sweet chocolate now burned his throat while the once delicious chips now caused his eyes to water. Once he returns to his forlorn room with only a bottle of water in his hands, he notices that he has received a new text message. From Leeteuk.
Kangin~ My sweet dongsaeng. I’ll be over in a bit and you BETTER open the door for me this time^^
A hint of his smile on his lips, Kangin sends a reply to the member that means the most to him. Leeteuk has always been there for him whenever Kangin needed an extra push. And Kangin is always there to return the favour. The two work together as the perfect pair. In fact, without the other, their two-member team falls apart. It’s like a house without a roof or a well without water-completely useless.
In short, they are necessary to each other’s existence.
Leeteuk is the one who always reminds Kangin of his limits whereas Kangin is always there to offer his support. Once again, Kangin thinks of the hard times looming ahead of him. Of a future without his smiling leader to guide him. Kangin shudders at the mere idea of such a fate.
“Kangin! I’m coming in now so you better be dressed!” a muffled voice calls outside of Kangin’s door a second it opens. The door swings open to reveal the smiling image of Leeteuk-dimple and all.
As though it is a conditioned reflex, Kangin returns the smile as he wraps his arms around Leeteuk in a welcoming hug. They stand for a moment, etching the perfect moment in their minds. When they part somewhat unwillingly, neither bothers to say any more; it just isn’t necessary.
As if they were one, they climb into Kangin’s spacious bed for a nice, calming nap. Leeteuk lays his head on Kangin’s chest and suddenly Kangin doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to leave his comfortable life for something unpredictable and dangerous. As his heart rate speeds up in a slight panic, Leeteuk hushes him and tells him to sleep Kangin.
Obediently, Kangin relaxes and allows all his troubles to simply flow out of his head. He wraps his arms around Leeteuk’s slim figure and immediately falls asleep-lulled by Leeteuk’s consistent, comforting breathing.
Kangin likes sleeping- when he can fall asleep that is. When he sleeps, Kangin doesn’t have to worry about anything. He doesn’t have to worry about his DUI, his assault case or his impending military service. In his dreams, he can do whatever he wants, be whoever he wants and be with whoever he wants.
In most of his dreams, Kangin is back on stage, doing what he does best: performing. He can picture the sea of blue before him and he smiles at the sapphire balloons. Surrounding him are his most beloved members; even Kibum and Hangeng join him. This is the life Kangin wants.
Some nights, Kangin will dream about Leeteuk. They are always pleasant dreams of their past moments spent together-a late night movie, a sweet kiss-and it feels as though he is reminiscing above anything else. Kangin can only wish that he will never forget those moments. He knows that once he enters the army, sweet memories like these would be the only thing preventing him from giving up.
After what seems like only a few seconds to Kangin, Leeteuk’s phone goes off-an ugly, screeching sound. Leeteuk looks at him with sad, pained eyes because he knows that their little fantasy world must come to an end and they have to get back to reality.
As though it’s a routine, they fix each other up-smoothing their hair to the side, flattening the wrinkled fabric beneath their fingers. Before either of them wants it to end, their time is up and Leeteuk has to leave for yet another schedule. Filled with regret, they share a soft kiss before Leeteuk departs in a hurry, leaving Kangin alone to his thoughts again.
The last days before his departure pass by like a movie-as though Kangin’s just an observer and not the main character. Before he knows it, it’s July 5th, 2010 and Kangin enters the military today.
A familiar van comes to pick up Kangin from his home and Kangin is relieved to find the smiling faces of his members in the car. He feels the tears coming already, but he holds them back because if there’s ever a moment he needs to be strong, it’s today. He takes a seat in between Leeteuk and Heechul and they two of them cuddle close to Kangin, feeling his warm embrace one last time.
Kangin looks to the back to see some of the members crying already. Although he tries to comfort them with soft words, they only cry harder. The tears cause a chain reaction and suddenly, everyone is a mess. Before the even reach their destination, every member feels spent and exhausted with tear tracks on their cheeks.
As the tires roll to a slow stop, Kangin looks at his second family-Leeteuk, Heechul, Yesung, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. They pull their hats over their eyes to hide the puffiness and the redness. The sight breaks Kangin’s heart and his will to move on shatters in a million pieces.
Kangin moves out of the car as though he is a robot; precise movements that feel forced. However, once he climbs out of the van, he sees a sight that manages to take his breath away and repair his will at the same time. It’s as though each sapphire balloon he sees take a piece of his broken will and carefully glues it all back together.
However, the most touching thing about the scene must be the huge balloon in the sky. The sapphire balloon carries a message-a message that will never fail to warm his heart. Youngwoon ah, Saranghae. Never once in his life has Kangin felt so loved.
He stares at the enormous crowd before him and cries as he bows in thanks. He bows so low, he might as well kiss the ground. He hears the cries of E.L.F and he vows to always protect them from now on. He vows to never be the cause of their precious tears again.
The members attack him with desperate hugs all while whispering we’ll wait for you. Kangin takes those words to heart, especially when hundreds of E.L.F repeat the message over and over again.
However, it is when Leeteuk whispers Kangin; I’ll wait forever for you that it actually registers in his mind. Resolve fills Kangin’s heart and suddenly he knows he can do it. As he dries his tears, Kangin’s face breaks into a smile that reaches from his heart.
And suddenly, he knows everything will be okay.
♥♥♥♥♥
So sorry for this, I wish it could have been better. I really wanted to write something for Kangin and this is all I could manage. I’m sorry.
Kangin, we will wait for you forever.
Saranghaeyo Kim Young-woon.
♥♥♥♥♥
Kangin looks out the window, contemplating his future for what must have been the thousandth time that day. Has he made the right decision? Is he ready for this?
Sighing, Kangin leaves his seat by the window to fetch a cup of water. He considers grabbing a few snacks as well but ultimately decides against it. Over the past few months, he had been eating a lot to forget everything. The once sweet chocolate now burned his throat while the once delicious chips now caused his eyes to water. Once he returns to his forlorn room with only a bottle of water in his hands, he notices that he has received a new text message. From Leeteuk.
Kangin~ My sweet dongsaeng. I’ll be over in a bit and you BETTER open the door for me this time^^
A hint of his smile on his lips, Kangin sends a reply to the member that means the most to him. Leeteuk has always been there for him whenever Kangin needed an extra push. And Kangin is always there to return the favour. The two work together as the perfect pair. In fact, without the other, their two-member team falls apart. It’s like a house without a roof or a well without water-completely useless.
In short, they are necessary to each other’s existence.
Leeteuk is the one who always reminds Kangin of his limits whereas Kangin is always there to offer his support. Once again, Kangin thinks of the hard times looming ahead of him. Of a future without his smiling leader to guide him. Kangin shudders at the mere idea of such a fate.
“Kangin! I’m coming in now so you better be dressed!” a muffled voice calls outside of Kangin’s door a second it opens. The door swings open to reveal the smiling image of Leeteuk-dimple and all.
As though it is a conditioned reflex, Kangin returns the smile as he wraps his arms around Leeteuk in a welcoming hug. They stand for a moment, etching the perfect moment in their minds. When they part somewhat unwillingly, neither bothers to say any more; it just isn’t necessary.
As if they were one, they climb into Kangin’s spacious bed for a nice, calming nap. Leeteuk lays his head on Kangin’s chest and suddenly Kangin doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to leave his comfortable life for something unpredictable and dangerous. As his heart rate speeds up in a slight panic, Leeteuk hushes him and tells him to sleep Kangin.
Obediently, Kangin relaxes and allows all his troubles to simply flow out of his head. He wraps his arms around Leeteuk’s slim figure and immediately falls asleep-lulled by Leeteuk’s consistent, comforting breathing.
Kangin likes sleeping- when he can fall asleep that is. When he sleeps, Kangin doesn’t have to worry about anything. He doesn’t have to worry about his DUI, his assault case or his impending military service. In his dreams, he can do whatever he wants, be whoever he wants and be with whoever he wants.
In most of his dreams, Kangin is back on stage, doing what he does best: performing. He can picture the sea of blue before him and he smiles at the sapphire balloons. Surrounding him are his most beloved members; even Kibum and Hangeng join him. This is the life Kangin wants.
Some nights, Kangin will dream about Leeteuk. They are always pleasant dreams of their past moments spent together-a late night movie, a sweet kiss-and it feels as though he is reminiscing above anything else. Kangin can only wish that he will never forget those moments. He knows that once he enters the army, sweet memories like these would be the only thing preventing him from giving up.
After what seems like only a few seconds to Kangin, Leeteuk’s phone goes off-an ugly, screeching sound. Leeteuk looks at him with sad, pained eyes because he knows that their little fantasy world must come to an end and they have to get back to reality.
As though it’s a routine, they fix each other up-smoothing their hair to the side, flattening the wrinkled fabric beneath their fingers. Before either of them wants it to end, their time is up and Leeteuk has to leave for yet another schedule. Filled with regret, they share a soft kiss before Leeteuk departs in a hurry, leaving Kangin alone to his thoughts again.
The last days before his departure pass by like a movie-as though Kangin’s just an observer and not the main character. Before he knows it, it’s July 5th, 2010 and Kangin enters the military today.
A familiar van comes to pick up Kangin from his home and Kangin is relieved to find the smiling faces of his members in the car. He feels the tears coming already, but he holds them back because if there’s ever a moment he needs to be strong, it’s today. He takes a seat in between Leeteuk and Heechul and they two of them cuddle close to Kangin, feeling his warm embrace one last time.
Kangin looks to the back to see some of the members crying already. Although he tries to comfort them with soft words, they only cry harder. The tears cause a chain reaction and suddenly, everyone is a mess. Before the even reach their destination, every member feels spent and exhausted with tear tracks on their cheeks.
As the tires roll to a slow stop, Kangin looks at his second family-Leeteuk, Heechul, Yesung, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. They pull their hats over their eyes to hide the puffiness and the redness. The sight breaks Kangin’s heart and his will to move on shatters in a million pieces.
Kangin moves out of the car as though he is a robot; precise movements that feel forced. However, once he climbs out of the van, he sees a sight that manages to take his breath away and repair his will at the same time. It’s as though each sapphire balloon he sees take a piece of his broken will and carefully glues it all back together.
However, the most touching thing about the scene must be the huge balloon in the sky. The sapphire balloon carries a message-a message that will never fail to warm his heart. Youngwoon ah, Saranghae. Never once in his life has Kangin felt so loved.
He stares at the enormous crowd before him and cries as he bows in thanks. He bows so low, he might as well kiss the ground. He hears the cries of E.L.F and he vows to always protect them from now on. He vows to never be the cause of their precious tears again.
The members attack him with desperate hugs all while whispering we’ll wait for you. Kangin takes those words to heart, especially when hundreds of E.L.F repeat the message over and over again.
However, it is when Leeteuk whispers Kangin; I’ll wait forever for you that it actually registers in his mind. Resolve fills Kangin’s heart and suddenly he knows he can do it. As he dries his tears, Kangin’s face breaks into a smile that reaches from his heart.
And suddenly, he knows everything will be okay.
♥♥♥♥♥
So sorry for this, I wish it could have been better. I really wanted to write something for Kangin and this is all I could manage. I’m sorry.
Kangin, we will wait for you forever.
Saranghaeyo Kim Young-woon.