Love Disease :: Chapter Four ::
Only being able to flip a few pages of a book we were going to read…
Now our new love meets farewell faster than memories can be formed…
♥♥♥♥♥
As I wake up and the drowsiness of last night begins to fade away, I have no idea what time it is, what I’m doing, where I am. All I know is that I’m with him and that’s the way I wish it could be.
My eyes flutter open slowly, anticipating a piercing light, but only finding a almost transparent darkness. It takes me a second to realize that my head is tucked underneath his chin. His chest moves up and down, up and down in a slow and gentle movement as he breathes. The constant movement has a calming effect and I find myself drifting back into a light sleep.
When my eyes open for a second time, I am surprised to see that our positions have changed. I am no longer snuggled into his chest; my head lays next to his on his spacious pillow. However, his strong arms remain wrapped around my slim body and it feels right. Everything about this feels right.
I take a moment to etch this image of him sleeping into my mind as my eyes wander carelessly around his body. However, they seem to always land on his peaceful face, unwilling to take in anything else. As he sleeps, his emotions seem to disappear and he is left with a child-like expression of complete innocence.
It is a scene I would like to see every morning of my life.
♥♥♥♥♥
Once upon a time, I used to think the same about you. Your face was all I ever wanted to see and I could live my life without witnessing anything else.
But things changed. You changed.
Your once serene face moulded into something darker. Your eyes narrowed as you slept, your face began to frown. Your soft smiles disappeared altogether.
I had heard before that the face of a sleeping man reveals their most inner thoughts, and I had to say that it was true.
Even as you were conscious, you decided not to flash that handsome smile of yours. Instead, you left me with a weak grimace that grew stronger day by day. At first, I simply ignored it and that worked for awhile.
That is, until I witnessed your sleeping figure one night. With your hands balled up into fists and an apparent crease in your brow, you slept fitfully. I witnessed your true colors.
If only you were more like him.
♥♥♥♥♥
I watch, completely mesmerized by his beauty. Even as he rests, he is more than beautiful. At the moment, I can’t even think of the words that describe this-this perfect being. With his lips in a slight smile, he looks like an angel. My angel.
I begin to wonder if you ever looked like this. Awake or asleep, I don’t believe you’ve ever looked this stunning before. In fact-
I stop myself. I’m thinking of you again and I keep comparing you to him-or him to you, I don‘t even know anymore. In my mind, everything he does is in relation to you.
It’s not fair to him to always have you in my mind. I shouldn’t be thinking of you when I’m with him. I’m being selfish again. Even though I know I should just leave him be, I always end up coming back to him to forget about you.
But you’re always in my thoughts, either consciously or unconsciously.
I almost groan in frustration until I catch myself; he is still sleeping peacefully. Realization hits me. I shouldn’t be doing this to him. It’s not fair. Not to anyone. Until you and I are officially over and you are finally out of my life, I shouldn’t be doing anything, period. This is wrong. Everything about this is wrong.
I need to leave.
Carefully, I unravel his arms from my sides and untangle our legs, trying my best not to rouse him. As I climb out of his bed, I tuck the covers beneath his sides to conserve heat. Once I’m fully out of reach, I take a quiet moment just to observe this wonderful being before me. I have a feeling I won’t be seeing him again for some time.
He smiles in his sleep and his eyes crinkle up in the corners. He is absolutely adorable and I am absolutely mesmerized. But I don’t deserve you. I don’t even deserve to look at you.
Gently, as though my hand is acting of its own accord, I place my hand on his face, caressing his soft cheeks. My thumb brushes against his lips and before I can clearly think this through, I lean in and kiss him.
Although it’s just a quick peck on the lips, it means a lot to me. He’s opened up to me and accepted me like no other could.
Not even you.
I nearly flinch as the thought of you invades my mind again but I push it out immediately. It does not belong here.
And neither do I.
My lips linger for a second, to absorb as much of this wonderful euphoria as possible. I breath in his scent for the last time and straighten up.
Oh how I wish he was awake to share our first kiss.
♥♥♥♥♥
My Dearest Donghae,
I’m sorry that I had to leave you like this but, I feel as though I’ve intruded in your life long enough. I think it would be better this way. For both of us.
Please don’t try to contact me. It will only make this harder for us.
Thank you for everything that you’ve done so far. I will never forget you and even though it’s selfish of me to ask, I hope that you will never forget me either.
Hyukjae
P.S I wish the day you complete your heart comes soon.
♥♥♥♥♥
I leave the note on his counter, hoping he won’t be too upset over it. I can’t even begin to imagine how long I stood in his kitchen, frozen as I thought of what to say.
Hopefully, he won’t notice the tears splattered all over the delicate paper.
By now, I’m at a nearby café, pretending to enjoy a light breakfast with a side of coffee. I watch the traffic of people outside the window as thoughts mindlessly flow in and out of my head. The scene is quite peaceful outside; the complete opposite of the turmoil in my heart.
Inside my jean pocket, my phone vibrates. I check the missed alerts section. There is one new message from Leeteuk.
Hyukjae ! ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE.
This is actually important. Unlike all the other times I've lied to you. Call me when you get this.
Confused, I check my missed calls to see that at least a dozen of people called me last night. Sighing, I dial Leeteuk’s number.
“Yuh bo seh yo?” I hear his reassuring voice through the line.
“Teukie-hyung? What’s up?”
“OH THANK GOD IT’S YOU HYUKKIE!” he yells into the phone, nearly deafening me. “Thank God, you’re safe-”
“What on earth are you talking about?” I question, seriously confused. “What’s this important thing you needed to tell me?”
“Ohmygod! Hyukjae you don’t know yet? Tell me, where were you last night?”
“What? I slept over at Donghae’s place…”
I hear a sigh through the line.
“You need to come over quick. You have no idea how pissed off he is,” Leeteuk says gravely.
“How pissed off who is? You’re not making any sense here hyung.”
“How pissed off your freaking boyfriend is. HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL NIGHT. I mean, he’s called every one of us at least ten times last night-”
The rest of his words don’t even register in my mind. All that I know is that you are looking for me and you are livid. I know how you get when you’re furious. My breathing becomes shallow and I’m suddenly covered in cold sweat. An icy feeling envelops me like it has never before. And suddenly, I know.
Leeteuk’s stopped speaking and I just know.
“Leeteuk! Jungsu! What happened?! Answer me!”
A stony voice answers instead of the warm, cheerful one I am expecting.
“My, my Hyukjae. I’ve finally found you.”
♥♥♥♥♥
My breath comes in short gasps. My heart freezes solid. The world stops altogether.
My worst nightmare is coming true.
“What do you want from me?” my voice sounds pathetic and tiny. Even to me.
“Oh whatever do you mean, Hyukjae? I just wanted to call my lovely boyfriend. Is there anything wrong with that?” His voice is frosty and mocking, void of all emotion.
My eyes narrow. An anger I’ve never felt before overcomes me and I see red.
“What. Have. You. Done. To. Jungsu,” I say, punctuating every word very carefully.
A dark chuckle is heard through the phone.
“Oh my… Is Hyukjae mad? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hyukjae mad before. Maybe annoyed or even slightly aggravated… but mad? I don’t think so.”
Lost in a sea of fury, I growl at you.
“What the fuck did you do? Answer me you spineless, worthless-”
He interrupts me so calmly that I wonder-not for the first time in my life-how two people so different could have ever been in love.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about Hyukjae. But I do think that you should speak to me with a little more respect. You do know that I have some of your friends with me right now, don’t you?”
I know you well enough to see the smirk on your face. It enrages me even more.
“Hyukjae why don’t you come over to our place? I’m sure you know the way… Even if you didn’t come home last night.” There’s a short pause on the other side of the line. “I’ll be waiting Hyukjae…” Without another word, you hang up and all I can hear now is the dial tone.
As quickly as it had come, the anger leaves me and I am once again terrified for my life. I go from a raging bull to a frightened mouse in mere seconds. Against my will, tears begin to flow down my pale cheeks and pool in my lap. However, I do not sob. I do not feel anything. The tears fall as though they are a habit; something I would usually do in this state.
I sit still, ignoring the odd looks I receive from others, until the tears stop coming. Wiping my face with my sleeve, I exit the café leaving behind a small part of myself.
There’s something I have to do.
As I set a fast pace for myself, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by all the possibilities. What did you do to Leeteuk? What did you do to my other friends? What do you have in store for me?
I shiver at the unexpected cold that surrounds me. Just the thought of you is enough to make me shudder.
Mindlessly, I walk down the usual streets, not even bothering to look up. I ignore the surprised voices that greet me every once in awhile. There is no time to be chitchatting.
Finally, after what seems like a century, I arrive at the familiar building. There are memories here that will never fade from my mind. Wonderful memories, unpleasant memories… I know that they will never disappear, but I do my best to suppress them, lock them and hide them for all eternity.
With the numbers 204 before me, my shaking hand opens the door to find you sitting on our couch, waiting for me.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Hello Hyukjae. Why do I feel like we haven’t been seeing each other enough lately?” You smile, a forced pull of your lips.
It is the last thing I see before the darkness closes in on me.
When I awake, blinking the drowsiness away, my whole body is sore. The rope digs into my wrists as I move my hands in vain. With my back against a pole of some sort and my legs pinned to the ground, there is no escape for me.
I should have prepared myself more, I should have expected him to attack me, I should have been able to prevent all this from happening…
Footsteps draw near and I look up to see you. I can’t help but think that you look good. Adorned in dark jeans, a tight t-shirt and a loose jacket, you never fail to leave me breathless.
A hand reaches out and grabs my face, turning it over from side to side. As you examine me ever so closely, I begin to feel furious again. The blood boils in my veins and pounds against my skull.
“Let. Go. Of. Me,” I whisper harshly, flicking my head to the side in hopes of flinging your dirty hand from my face.
You chuckle, somewhat amused by my defiance.
“You know, Hyukjae, I’ve always loved your ferocity.”
I growl at you, knowing deep inside that you haven’t loved anything about me for a long time now. However, a small smile makes its way onto my face when I realize that you’re not the only one whose fallen out of love here. And I am pleased to say that I am the only one in the room who has found someone else to open my heart to.
Seeing the smile on my face angers you to an extent I have yet to witness. Your eyes grow colder than before-if that’s even possible.
Before I can even brace myself, you hand slams forcefully against my cheek in a loud smack! and a stinging sensation overwhelms the side of my face. You smile sadistically, satisfied to see a red welt developing already. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes.
How did I never notice this side of you until recently? How did I fail to see what was before me? How did I manage to fall in love with a monster like you? The thoughts engulf me until I am ready to explode. What did I ever do to deserve this?
“Hyukjae-ah, you better start praying now.” I narrow my eyes at the tone of his voice-cocky, arrogant. “If not for yourself, at least for him.” You sneer triumphantly at the expression on my face.
Without another word, I already know who it is.
“W-what are you going to do to him?!” I just about scream, not caring who hears it.
“You’ll have to wait and see. Ahhh, Hyukjae, always the impatient one…” you say as you bend over to look me in the eye. Once again, I feel cold hands on my face, but this time, you lean forward and force your lips onto mine.
My eyes close to keep the tears from spilling. It feels nauseating. Once, I considered your kisses the best feeling in the world, but now, it fills me with disgust. I clench my jaw to prevent you from slipping your tongue into my mouth and I feel your frustration through your actions. Your hands grip me tighter, squeezing my jaw until I am obliged to open my mouth and give way to your desperate need.
That’s all I am to you. I am just something you use when you feel the need to satisfy a craving. You no longer care about my feelings as long as you get what you want. And I know fighting you only makes you want me more. The way I try to escape your hold on me only makes you more determined to keep me there.
Your tongue invades my mouth and I am tempted to bite down as hard as I can. However, before I can act on my thoughts, you pull away violently. Wiping your mouth, you glare at me harshly.
“I am going to make you regret doing that Hyukjae. Believe me, I will.” My eyes widen. You wouldn’t dare…
Picking up a hat from a nearby table and stuffing your keys into the pockets of your jeans, you head out the door. You stop, mere inches away from the exit, and without bothering to look back, you holler a casual:
“Don’t worry Hyukjae, I’ll be back soon with… what was his name? Lee Donghae, right?” he pauses, cocky with the feeling of control in his hands. “Try not to miss me too much… and don‘t do anything while I‘m gone. I still have your friends captive you know.”
The door slams shut and I flinch. All the energy and strength I had before has vanished into nothing, leaving a pathetic lump of a person. I shudder uncontrollably as tears stream down my face. My vision blurs and there is only one thought in my mind.
Him.
Suddenly, all the feelings come rushing back to me: the guilt of leaving him, the regret of causing him pain… everything. I should have just left him alone. If I had, he would never be involved in any of this.
And yet, despite these thoughts, I cling to the hope that he will be here to save me from you. I cling to the hope that he will come for me. The tears come harder now, knowing that it’s impossible seeing as you are already out to get him. The light I once called hope dims into a weak glow surrounded by an eternal darkness.
Donghae… I need you more now more than ever.
♥♥♥♥♥
Teehee ! I finished chapter four of Love Disease for you guys^^ even though it's been about a month...
Sorry for the angsty, dark chapter D:
I felt it was appropriate >__<
Thanks so much for reading ♥
And don't forget to comment ;D
Now our new love meets farewell faster than memories can be formed…
♥♥♥♥♥
As I wake up and the drowsiness of last night begins to fade away, I have no idea what time it is, what I’m doing, where I am. All I know is that I’m with him and that’s the way I wish it could be.
My eyes flutter open slowly, anticipating a piercing light, but only finding a almost transparent darkness. It takes me a second to realize that my head is tucked underneath his chin. His chest moves up and down, up and down in a slow and gentle movement as he breathes. The constant movement has a calming effect and I find myself drifting back into a light sleep.
When my eyes open for a second time, I am surprised to see that our positions have changed. I am no longer snuggled into his chest; my head lays next to his on his spacious pillow. However, his strong arms remain wrapped around my slim body and it feels right. Everything about this feels right.
I take a moment to etch this image of him sleeping into my mind as my eyes wander carelessly around his body. However, they seem to always land on his peaceful face, unwilling to take in anything else. As he sleeps, his emotions seem to disappear and he is left with a child-like expression of complete innocence.
It is a scene I would like to see every morning of my life.
♥♥♥♥♥
Once upon a time, I used to think the same about you. Your face was all I ever wanted to see and I could live my life without witnessing anything else.
But things changed. You changed.
Your once serene face moulded into something darker. Your eyes narrowed as you slept, your face began to frown. Your soft smiles disappeared altogether.
I had heard before that the face of a sleeping man reveals their most inner thoughts, and I had to say that it was true.
Even as you were conscious, you decided not to flash that handsome smile of yours. Instead, you left me with a weak grimace that grew stronger day by day. At first, I simply ignored it and that worked for awhile.
That is, until I witnessed your sleeping figure one night. With your hands balled up into fists and an apparent crease in your brow, you slept fitfully. I witnessed your true colors.
If only you were more like him.
♥♥♥♥♥
I watch, completely mesmerized by his beauty. Even as he rests, he is more than beautiful. At the moment, I can’t even think of the words that describe this-this perfect being. With his lips in a slight smile, he looks like an angel. My angel.
I begin to wonder if you ever looked like this. Awake or asleep, I don’t believe you’ve ever looked this stunning before. In fact-
I stop myself. I’m thinking of you again and I keep comparing you to him-or him to you, I don‘t even know anymore. In my mind, everything he does is in relation to you.
It’s not fair to him to always have you in my mind. I shouldn’t be thinking of you when I’m with him. I’m being selfish again. Even though I know I should just leave him be, I always end up coming back to him to forget about you.
But you’re always in my thoughts, either consciously or unconsciously.
I almost groan in frustration until I catch myself; he is still sleeping peacefully. Realization hits me. I shouldn’t be doing this to him. It’s not fair. Not to anyone. Until you and I are officially over and you are finally out of my life, I shouldn’t be doing anything, period. This is wrong. Everything about this is wrong.
I need to leave.
Carefully, I unravel his arms from my sides and untangle our legs, trying my best not to rouse him. As I climb out of his bed, I tuck the covers beneath his sides to conserve heat. Once I’m fully out of reach, I take a quiet moment just to observe this wonderful being before me. I have a feeling I won’t be seeing him again for some time.
He smiles in his sleep and his eyes crinkle up in the corners. He is absolutely adorable and I am absolutely mesmerized. But I don’t deserve you. I don’t even deserve to look at you.
Gently, as though my hand is acting of its own accord, I place my hand on his face, caressing his soft cheeks. My thumb brushes against his lips and before I can clearly think this through, I lean in and kiss him.
Although it’s just a quick peck on the lips, it means a lot to me. He’s opened up to me and accepted me like no other could.
Not even you.
I nearly flinch as the thought of you invades my mind again but I push it out immediately. It does not belong here.
And neither do I.
My lips linger for a second, to absorb as much of this wonderful euphoria as possible. I breath in his scent for the last time and straighten up.
Oh how I wish he was awake to share our first kiss.
♥♥♥♥♥
My Dearest Donghae,
I’m sorry that I had to leave you like this but, I feel as though I’ve intruded in your life long enough. I think it would be better this way. For both of us.
Please don’t try to contact me. It will only make this harder for us.
Thank you for everything that you’ve done so far. I will never forget you and even though it’s selfish of me to ask, I hope that you will never forget me either.
Hyukjae
P.S I wish the day you complete your heart comes soon.
♥♥♥♥♥
I leave the note on his counter, hoping he won’t be too upset over it. I can’t even begin to imagine how long I stood in his kitchen, frozen as I thought of what to say.
Hopefully, he won’t notice the tears splattered all over the delicate paper.
By now, I’m at a nearby café, pretending to enjoy a light breakfast with a side of coffee. I watch the traffic of people outside the window as thoughts mindlessly flow in and out of my head. The scene is quite peaceful outside; the complete opposite of the turmoil in my heart.
Inside my jean pocket, my phone vibrates. I check the missed alerts section. There is one new message from Leeteuk.
Hyukjae ! ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE.
This is actually important. Unlike all the other times I've lied to you. Call me when you get this.
Confused, I check my missed calls to see that at least a dozen of people called me last night. Sighing, I dial Leeteuk’s number.
“Yuh bo seh yo?” I hear his reassuring voice through the line.
“Teukie-hyung? What’s up?”
“OH THANK GOD IT’S YOU HYUKKIE!” he yells into the phone, nearly deafening me. “Thank God, you’re safe-”
“What on earth are you talking about?” I question, seriously confused. “What’s this important thing you needed to tell me?”
“Ohmygod! Hyukjae you don’t know yet? Tell me, where were you last night?”
“What? I slept over at Donghae’s place…”
I hear a sigh through the line.
“You need to come over quick. You have no idea how pissed off he is,” Leeteuk says gravely.
“How pissed off who is? You’re not making any sense here hyung.”
“How pissed off your freaking boyfriend is. HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL NIGHT. I mean, he’s called every one of us at least ten times last night-”
The rest of his words don’t even register in my mind. All that I know is that you are looking for me and you are livid. I know how you get when you’re furious. My breathing becomes shallow and I’m suddenly covered in cold sweat. An icy feeling envelops me like it has never before. And suddenly, I know.
Leeteuk’s stopped speaking and I just know.
“Leeteuk! Jungsu! What happened?! Answer me!”
A stony voice answers instead of the warm, cheerful one I am expecting.
“My, my Hyukjae. I’ve finally found you.”
♥♥♥♥♥
My breath comes in short gasps. My heart freezes solid. The world stops altogether.
My worst nightmare is coming true.
“What do you want from me?” my voice sounds pathetic and tiny. Even to me.
“Oh whatever do you mean, Hyukjae? I just wanted to call my lovely boyfriend. Is there anything wrong with that?” His voice is frosty and mocking, void of all emotion.
My eyes narrow. An anger I’ve never felt before overcomes me and I see red.
“What. Have. You. Done. To. Jungsu,” I say, punctuating every word very carefully.
A dark chuckle is heard through the phone.
“Oh my… Is Hyukjae mad? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hyukjae mad before. Maybe annoyed or even slightly aggravated… but mad? I don’t think so.”
Lost in a sea of fury, I growl at you.
“What the fuck did you do? Answer me you spineless, worthless-”
He interrupts me so calmly that I wonder-not for the first time in my life-how two people so different could have ever been in love.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about Hyukjae. But I do think that you should speak to me with a little more respect. You do know that I have some of your friends with me right now, don’t you?”
I know you well enough to see the smirk on your face. It enrages me even more.
“Hyukjae why don’t you come over to our place? I’m sure you know the way… Even if you didn’t come home last night.” There’s a short pause on the other side of the line. “I’ll be waiting Hyukjae…” Without another word, you hang up and all I can hear now is the dial tone.
As quickly as it had come, the anger leaves me and I am once again terrified for my life. I go from a raging bull to a frightened mouse in mere seconds. Against my will, tears begin to flow down my pale cheeks and pool in my lap. However, I do not sob. I do not feel anything. The tears fall as though they are a habit; something I would usually do in this state.
I sit still, ignoring the odd looks I receive from others, until the tears stop coming. Wiping my face with my sleeve, I exit the café leaving behind a small part of myself.
There’s something I have to do.
As I set a fast pace for myself, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by all the possibilities. What did you do to Leeteuk? What did you do to my other friends? What do you have in store for me?
I shiver at the unexpected cold that surrounds me. Just the thought of you is enough to make me shudder.
Mindlessly, I walk down the usual streets, not even bothering to look up. I ignore the surprised voices that greet me every once in awhile. There is no time to be chitchatting.
Finally, after what seems like a century, I arrive at the familiar building. There are memories here that will never fade from my mind. Wonderful memories, unpleasant memories… I know that they will never disappear, but I do my best to suppress them, lock them and hide them for all eternity.
With the numbers 204 before me, my shaking hand opens the door to find you sitting on our couch, waiting for me.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Hello Hyukjae. Why do I feel like we haven’t been seeing each other enough lately?” You smile, a forced pull of your lips.
It is the last thing I see before the darkness closes in on me.
When I awake, blinking the drowsiness away, my whole body is sore. The rope digs into my wrists as I move my hands in vain. With my back against a pole of some sort and my legs pinned to the ground, there is no escape for me.
I should have prepared myself more, I should have expected him to attack me, I should have been able to prevent all this from happening…
Footsteps draw near and I look up to see you. I can’t help but think that you look good. Adorned in dark jeans, a tight t-shirt and a loose jacket, you never fail to leave me breathless.
A hand reaches out and grabs my face, turning it over from side to side. As you examine me ever so closely, I begin to feel furious again. The blood boils in my veins and pounds against my skull.
“Let. Go. Of. Me,” I whisper harshly, flicking my head to the side in hopes of flinging your dirty hand from my face.
You chuckle, somewhat amused by my defiance.
“You know, Hyukjae, I’ve always loved your ferocity.”
I growl at you, knowing deep inside that you haven’t loved anything about me for a long time now. However, a small smile makes its way onto my face when I realize that you’re not the only one whose fallen out of love here. And I am pleased to say that I am the only one in the room who has found someone else to open my heart to.
Seeing the smile on my face angers you to an extent I have yet to witness. Your eyes grow colder than before-if that’s even possible.
Before I can even brace myself, you hand slams forcefully against my cheek in a loud smack! and a stinging sensation overwhelms the side of my face. You smile sadistically, satisfied to see a red welt developing already. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes.
How did I never notice this side of you until recently? How did I fail to see what was before me? How did I manage to fall in love with a monster like you? The thoughts engulf me until I am ready to explode. What did I ever do to deserve this?
“Hyukjae-ah, you better start praying now.” I narrow my eyes at the tone of his voice-cocky, arrogant. “If not for yourself, at least for him.” You sneer triumphantly at the expression on my face.
Without another word, I already know who it is.
“W-what are you going to do to him?!” I just about scream, not caring who hears it.
“You’ll have to wait and see. Ahhh, Hyukjae, always the impatient one…” you say as you bend over to look me in the eye. Once again, I feel cold hands on my face, but this time, you lean forward and force your lips onto mine.
My eyes close to keep the tears from spilling. It feels nauseating. Once, I considered your kisses the best feeling in the world, but now, it fills me with disgust. I clench my jaw to prevent you from slipping your tongue into my mouth and I feel your frustration through your actions. Your hands grip me tighter, squeezing my jaw until I am obliged to open my mouth and give way to your desperate need.
That’s all I am to you. I am just something you use when you feel the need to satisfy a craving. You no longer care about my feelings as long as you get what you want. And I know fighting you only makes you want me more. The way I try to escape your hold on me only makes you more determined to keep me there.
Your tongue invades my mouth and I am tempted to bite down as hard as I can. However, before I can act on my thoughts, you pull away violently. Wiping your mouth, you glare at me harshly.
“I am going to make you regret doing that Hyukjae. Believe me, I will.” My eyes widen. You wouldn’t dare…
Picking up a hat from a nearby table and stuffing your keys into the pockets of your jeans, you head out the door. You stop, mere inches away from the exit, and without bothering to look back, you holler a casual:
“Don’t worry Hyukjae, I’ll be back soon with… what was his name? Lee Donghae, right?” he pauses, cocky with the feeling of control in his hands. “Try not to miss me too much… and don‘t do anything while I‘m gone. I still have your friends captive you know.”
The door slams shut and I flinch. All the energy and strength I had before has vanished into nothing, leaving a pathetic lump of a person. I shudder uncontrollably as tears stream down my face. My vision blurs and there is only one thought in my mind.
Him.
Suddenly, all the feelings come rushing back to me: the guilt of leaving him, the regret of causing him pain… everything. I should have just left him alone. If I had, he would never be involved in any of this.
And yet, despite these thoughts, I cling to the hope that he will be here to save me from you. I cling to the hope that he will come for me. The tears come harder now, knowing that it’s impossible seeing as you are already out to get him. The light I once called hope dims into a weak glow surrounded by an eternal darkness.
Donghae… I need you more now more than ever.
♥♥♥♥♥
Teehee ! I finished chapter four of Love Disease for you guys^^ even though it's been about a month...
Sorry for the angsty, dark chapter D:
I felt it was appropriate >__<
Thanks so much for reading ♥
And don't forget to comment ;D