FINALLY...
"I am not afraid of lonely, I got good at being that.
I have not seen nothing that could hold me.
Say goodbye and don't look back.
Running, always ready.
Fells like strong and steady"
Kenny Chesney
I love Kennys words and his voice (not to mention his sexy body). Alot of the time it I can find a song to explain the way that i am feeling. Another one of my favorites-
"Once you've met the devil
They'll no way that he'll let you be.
When I am not chasing demons, demons are chasing me.
Sheltons in the closet.
Ghosts underneath the bed.
They hide out in pictures and in words better left unsaid.
They hang around like perfume
And haunt me like an ancient melody."
Anyways--
Life...
grrr....
Lets see-- I am typing on my new computer... yeah!!! I love the screen and vista and how it is black on top. I think that Josh's computer is black on top (not that thats why I like it).
hmm... I guess Josh is next. Its so hard because there can not be no inbetween with us. He wants a relationship and I just want to be friends and he wont stand for that. What am I supposed to do? Its not cool to enter into a relationship with him because i feel pressured in order to hang out with him. I realize that because i broke up with him, it is hard but i just dont have feelings like that for him and i can have another fake relationship because i want a friend.
Rob is next i guess... He spent the night last night and it just convinced me again that it is not enough either. I have no feeling for him and absolutely no attraction to him. i don't know what to do because I know that I have to end that too in the next couple of days but I don't know how.
hmm... Chan- buddy I was not in the wrong at ALL... U said u'd come over then stood us up. I called u, not the other way around. but I will drop it cause in the end it doesnt matter and its not worth being all drama about.
I need to sell my bike which is like giving up a child, but I can't bring myself around to doing it. grrr... me...
New Friends and New Job... Lets see... There is a bunch of awesome ppl that I work with. Tom Cat (whom is rumored by Tim to be a virgen-- not that it matters but I don't believe it) is my fav. along w Anthony. Kevin, ben and jeff scars me... Ronnie is awesome to work w and I am working on the situation when I have to close with Joe... My job is boring but I am excited that I stole Ashley away... Giggle mania!!! ;o Mary Ann doesnt know what she did when she hired her and plans to put us together... lol
I am being the bigger person when it comes to Tim. I need to find a way so that he's no so touchy like before (thus why i stopped talking to him) without being nasty. Friday nights are alot of fun and I know that its in part to everyone just sucking it up which is good. This is how ppl change for the better and I always want to do that. Hmm... oh yeah and friday nights have been expanded by 2 ppl. One being my Ashley (lol...) and the other being Lauren.ooo I mean Loren... Its funny because I was totally wrong about him. Its funny how when we typically judge someone we miss out on alot when we don't go back and relize that we are wrong. Gots to thank Lou for that one. I learnt that VW is made by Germans and that Nissan is made by Japs... and alot more about cars in general. Its funny that I am actually intrested in it. Ever since getting my bike, my curiousity for engine beasts have grown. I will probably change my oil and filter next weekend on my bike... hopefully by myself...
Life is crazy and it is a small world. I just need to learn how to hold tight to the safety bar (with the occasional let go) and roll with it. Where I end up is half of the fun and intrigue. :)
Good night.. more to come soon...