(no subject)

[rain0rshine]

Let me tell you something. I think there are some words a happy, girl actually enjoying the single life does not want to hear and those are "I think I'm fallin for you." *sigh* And, I was not trying for this. I do not want this. He is a great guy, he would make a great friend, but not this. I would gladly continue to casually date like I am with some other guys, but right now I do not want a relationship. Or, at least I haven't found the right person with whom to have one yet. BAH! I just don't know what to do. I have never really been in this situation before. And, while I know there is a first time for everything, I don't really want it. He would be fun as a friend, but not a boyfriend. I hate to be something I'm not and say "Oh, he's just not my type and he isn't that great of a kisser so let's blow him off," so I'm not going to and I assure you those are not the only reasons, but they do play a bit into it. Maybe I was spoiled with Alex, you know getting my type right of the gate and he was a damn good kisser too. I mean, how often is it that you want a serious relationship and actually get EXACTLY what you wanted? Hmm? I guess the thing is I don't want to compromise myself right now. I don't want to lock myself into something that might not be all that I want. I know it's asking a whole lot to sit here and say that, but I want to feel like it's the right thing and that it's what we want both want. Right now, I would feel completely trapped in a situation like that because I don't feel the same way for him. Besides, I am enjoying the single life far too much. I have several guys that I am flirting with the idea of casually dating and it's great. I've never had this before and I like it. I mean, I feel like I'm coming into my own finally. I'm finally comfortable enough with myself for other people to seek me out and it's great. It's wonderful. I don't usually get the guys, it's usually all of my friends, but right now I like what I'm being given and I don't want to give it up.

Oh damn. I need to stop thinking about this. Sorry if I sound too much like a whiner.