Saturday...
Sold on the promises of a better tomorrow I find myself here, writing, again.
About what? Nothing. Like always. But this need to write. I want to write. Not about me or my life. It is pleasant. A few faults from perfect. Plus, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not cursing existence likes others.
I've been having countless dreams...of which I can't remember. Not vividly. Only flashes of color. And a few images.
Thinking about it leads me away from concentration. I drift away into slumber, but with my eyes wide open.
Trying to figure out what they mean. If they mean anything at all. But it doesn't stop there. I move towards an unfinished story.
"I awake to find no piece of mind...
I said how do you live...as a fugitive?
Down here where I can't see so clear.
I said 'what do I know?' show me the right way to go..."
It resonates in my head. With certain beats. Moving up and down with each tune.
Countless stories that merge into one. Countless lives that end with one consistent dying scene. In her arms. In his arms. A moment of peace before unforgettable sadness. I can feel my heart sink everytime. My eyes tear up. And I can hear the sobbing clearly. Sometimes I wonder if it's just in my head...or if it is real.
Feelings of solitude melting away. As each new path connects plains of words. With each heart that is merged, the sole survivor grows stronger, eating away at existence hoping to find a solution. A final conclusion to all the bitterness and emptiness.
Could God save us? From what we fear? Or is God the reason we fear? And require saving? To believe without doubt is ignorant. But to believe completely is divine. So where do you stand in your questions of faith? Are you devoted? Or will objects sway your vision and cause you to sin?
"Hair of gold and eyes like stormy seas
You say you love me, want to marry me
And as I’m looking for a wedding ring
You say I don’t have to spend anything"
She'll continue to call for him. Even in moments of blindness her eyes would search him out. As each day turns into years, a life will burn away searching, longing, urging to be whole - to reunite with its missing body.
From the clouds above on a gold thrown he'll watch. Anticipating her desires, and savoring her tears. Waiting for the moment where she can no longer bear the cold emptiness. At that moment he will swoop down to her and offer her forgiveness. One final chance to absolve herself of sin. And when she curses him out he'll be torn in half. Beloved, divine, ever loving spiritual God will cease to exist. Only vengeance and wrath will remain.
With all his might he will raise his hand in anger and strike her down. Her body frail from years of searching will fall to its knees. Crippled by the power of what she thought was a solution. As her eyes swell with the tears of the man she seeks her heart will give one last scream. But it won't be heard.
A place known as purgatory exists for those that deserve no punishment. There is no care for these individuals to the point of existence without contact is a solution. Here, you'll find me. Us. The lost body of the soul that longs to unite. Here you'll find us.
"Wake from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape"
Listening to each word, to each sound, to each thought he sleeps. Shackled to the darkness which is nothing. In a cell created by divinity to keep captured freedom of will. A mistake that will cost existence one of its strongest attributes - Time.
On the wings of Time he will escape. He will ascend the kingdom of God and overstep the prophecies of creation. He will rise above the flames of Hell and scour the fabrics of life in search for what was taken. What he believes to be his. What he knows he will find.
Just before everything goes black for her she sees him. Sees them. God and his fallen Angel. The Gaurdian bestowed the duty of protecting existence. But this time...his sword is drawn again the Holy Savior.
She reaches for him but always, Time is never on their side. Her eyes' close. He's too late. Again.
A thousand times he can recount the times she's slipped away. A thousand times he can explain the sadness in his heart. A thousand times he can slay God in anger. A thousand times...
But now. Yes, now. He has Time on this side. He's escaped the chamber. He's free. Absorbed by the fabrics of time. By the object that he was created to defend. He is life. He is death. He is God. One by one. They will fall. One by one until a thousand times can it be told.
"You can laugh a spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace
We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke"
Nothing left. To fight for. To search for. To long for. Everything is gone. Everything is done. The scene shifts back to black. A sole survivor rests on the floor. Fists clench tight. Beads of sweat dripping from his brow. His body shaking with unending anger. One scream to acknowledge he still lives. One yell to remind you he still feels pain. He stands to his fight burning with white fire. His soul is breaking free. Completely. From the bind of existence. From the control of time. God outcasted him. God won't accept him. The Gates are closed to him. He lives in the empty darkness of purgatory. But not for long.
He slams his fist against the panes of darkness. His energy bursts engulfing the small cage in a white brilliance. One, two, three, four, five, his fist fly forward. One, two, three, four, five, one by one they start to crack the glass. His eyes now blinded by fear. By sadness. By hatred. This is it. This is his chance to end it all. His misery. His lonileness. His sadness. His life.
With the remainder of his energy he shouts. The flames from his body illuminate for the final explosion. His wings sprout out but are compressed by the confines of the small room. This time, the walls won't hold. The sound of cracking grass resonates in the room. Slowly beams of light fill the room. His wings now fully extend shattering outwards. His fist break through the glass. The flames from his body extended outwards incinerating the remaining shards of his cage. He's free.
"What if this storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again
The perfect halo
Of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against
The planet's last dance
Just for a minute
The silver forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow
Now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't want to run
Just overwhelm me
What if this storm ends?
And leaves us nothing
Except a memory
A distant echo
I want pinned down
I want unsettled
Rattle cage after cage
Until my blood boils
I want to see you
As you are now
Every single day
That I am living
Painted in flames
All peeling thunder
Be the lightning in me
That strikes relentless"
He's free. He falls to his knees in a white room. His eyes focus on her. She stands in front of him. Real. He reaches for her. Her arms open and welcome him. As his head falls to her chest all the emotions erupt. His eyes swell with tears. The sound of his sobbing is deafening. He's found her. At long last he's with her.
He's free. No longer a prisoner of his memories. But with freedom comes the great price of existence. Is it worth it? One true moment of happiness in exchange for a thousand chances for happiness? He looks into her eyes. He smiles at her. He's free to be with her.
And then...
About what? Nothing. Like always. But this need to write. I want to write. Not about me or my life. It is pleasant. A few faults from perfect. Plus, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not cursing existence likes others.
I've been having countless dreams...of which I can't remember. Not vividly. Only flashes of color. And a few images.
Thinking about it leads me away from concentration. I drift away into slumber, but with my eyes wide open.
Trying to figure out what they mean. If they mean anything at all. But it doesn't stop there. I move towards an unfinished story.
"I awake to find no piece of mind...
I said how do you live...as a fugitive?
Down here where I can't see so clear.
I said 'what do I know?' show me the right way to go..."
It resonates in my head. With certain beats. Moving up and down with each tune.
Countless stories that merge into one. Countless lives that end with one consistent dying scene. In her arms. In his arms. A moment of peace before unforgettable sadness. I can feel my heart sink everytime. My eyes tear up. And I can hear the sobbing clearly. Sometimes I wonder if it's just in my head...or if it is real.
Feelings of solitude melting away. As each new path connects plains of words. With each heart that is merged, the sole survivor grows stronger, eating away at existence hoping to find a solution. A final conclusion to all the bitterness and emptiness.
Could God save us? From what we fear? Or is God the reason we fear? And require saving? To believe without doubt is ignorant. But to believe completely is divine. So where do you stand in your questions of faith? Are you devoted? Or will objects sway your vision and cause you to sin?
"Hair of gold and eyes like stormy seas
You say you love me, want to marry me
And as I’m looking for a wedding ring
You say I don’t have to spend anything"
She'll continue to call for him. Even in moments of blindness her eyes would search him out. As each day turns into years, a life will burn away searching, longing, urging to be whole - to reunite with its missing body.
From the clouds above on a gold thrown he'll watch. Anticipating her desires, and savoring her tears. Waiting for the moment where she can no longer bear the cold emptiness. At that moment he will swoop down to her and offer her forgiveness. One final chance to absolve herself of sin. And when she curses him out he'll be torn in half. Beloved, divine, ever loving spiritual God will cease to exist. Only vengeance and wrath will remain.
With all his might he will raise his hand in anger and strike her down. Her body frail from years of searching will fall to its knees. Crippled by the power of what she thought was a solution. As her eyes swell with the tears of the man she seeks her heart will give one last scream. But it won't be heard.
A place known as purgatory exists for those that deserve no punishment. There is no care for these individuals to the point of existence without contact is a solution. Here, you'll find me. Us. The lost body of the soul that longs to unite. Here you'll find us.
"Wake from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape"
Listening to each word, to each sound, to each thought he sleeps. Shackled to the darkness which is nothing. In a cell created by divinity to keep captured freedom of will. A mistake that will cost existence one of its strongest attributes - Time.
On the wings of Time he will escape. He will ascend the kingdom of God and overstep the prophecies of creation. He will rise above the flames of Hell and scour the fabrics of life in search for what was taken. What he believes to be his. What he knows he will find.
Just before everything goes black for her she sees him. Sees them. God and his fallen Angel. The Gaurdian bestowed the duty of protecting existence. But this time...his sword is drawn again the Holy Savior.
She reaches for him but always, Time is never on their side. Her eyes' close. He's too late. Again.
A thousand times he can recount the times she's slipped away. A thousand times he can explain the sadness in his heart. A thousand times he can slay God in anger. A thousand times...
But now. Yes, now. He has Time on this side. He's escaped the chamber. He's free. Absorbed by the fabrics of time. By the object that he was created to defend. He is life. He is death. He is God. One by one. They will fall. One by one until a thousand times can it be told.
"You can laugh a spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace
We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke"
Nothing left. To fight for. To search for. To long for. Everything is gone. Everything is done. The scene shifts back to black. A sole survivor rests on the floor. Fists clench tight. Beads of sweat dripping from his brow. His body shaking with unending anger. One scream to acknowledge he still lives. One yell to remind you he still feels pain. He stands to his fight burning with white fire. His soul is breaking free. Completely. From the bind of existence. From the control of time. God outcasted him. God won't accept him. The Gates are closed to him. He lives in the empty darkness of purgatory. But not for long.
He slams his fist against the panes of darkness. His energy bursts engulfing the small cage in a white brilliance. One, two, three, four, five, his fist fly forward. One, two, three, four, five, one by one they start to crack the glass. His eyes now blinded by fear. By sadness. By hatred. This is it. This is his chance to end it all. His misery. His lonileness. His sadness. His life.
With the remainder of his energy he shouts. The flames from his body illuminate for the final explosion. His wings sprout out but are compressed by the confines of the small room. This time, the walls won't hold. The sound of cracking grass resonates in the room. Slowly beams of light fill the room. His wings now fully extend shattering outwards. His fist break through the glass. The flames from his body extended outwards incinerating the remaining shards of his cage. He's free.
"What if this storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again
The perfect halo
Of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against
The planet's last dance
Just for a minute
The silver forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow
Now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't want to run
Just overwhelm me
What if this storm ends?
And leaves us nothing
Except a memory
A distant echo
I want pinned down
I want unsettled
Rattle cage after cage
Until my blood boils
I want to see you
As you are now
Every single day
That I am living
Painted in flames
All peeling thunder
Be the lightning in me
That strikes relentless"
He's free. He falls to his knees in a white room. His eyes focus on her. She stands in front of him. Real. He reaches for her. Her arms open and welcome him. As his head falls to her chest all the emotions erupt. His eyes swell with tears. The sound of his sobbing is deafening. He's found her. At long last he's with her.
He's free. No longer a prisoner of his memories. But with freedom comes the great price of existence. Is it worth it? One true moment of happiness in exchange for a thousand chances for happiness? He looks into her eyes. He smiles at her. He's free to be with her.
And then...