Once isn't enough...
Ahhh how it works. How my mind can go from living, loving, enjoying, and suddenly crashing on itself.
Yeah, fuck it I'm going to be honest. I'll try.
There is this girl I live with that I'm deeply in love with. When she smiles my eyes can't resist but staring. I love her voice in the morning. She cuddles into my arms and gives me a gentle kiss.
I love it.
But I'm scared of losing it.
Growing up, my family sort of didn't pay attention to me. I was strong, smart, and capable of living on my own. The years melted away and I became a young man. A man with a hole in his heart looking to people to help fill it.
I grew attached. To people, items, everything and anything. I'm very possesive. What is mine is mine, and only mine.
I'm selfish. I can admit it. And I'm negative. I don't look at the world the way I use to. I dwell on all the hardships of people, of the world, and etc.
But I keep walking my path. I keep trying to find peacew within.
Everything crashes against the walls so quickly. One moment I love her and rehearse a marriage in my head and the next I'm wondering if she is faithful or if our love is as strong as I think it is. I stop and look at things again.
Kinda fucked up.
Sleep...I haven't been sleeping much again. My mind is keeping me awake. I'm thirsting to reunite myself with something - something I can't find.
Story of my life.
But she makes me forget. When I crawl into the bed with my body so tired her arms wrap around me - and I forget. Everything.
There is only her, and I, and peace.
I want every moment to feel like that. I want to erase all the dark thoughts, all the worry, all the sorrow, and all that other shit I carry. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't be fighting with myself to find a valid point for my existance.
I'm fucked up. But at least I'm still functional. How many people are at my point? How many people can handle what I'm handling? Not many. Not this young. Not this unprepared, haha.
"Everything is magic."
Something like that.
Time for sleep.
Yeah, fuck it I'm going to be honest. I'll try.
There is this girl I live with that I'm deeply in love with. When she smiles my eyes can't resist but staring. I love her voice in the morning. She cuddles into my arms and gives me a gentle kiss.
I love it.
But I'm scared of losing it.
Growing up, my family sort of didn't pay attention to me. I was strong, smart, and capable of living on my own. The years melted away and I became a young man. A man with a hole in his heart looking to people to help fill it.
I grew attached. To people, items, everything and anything. I'm very possesive. What is mine is mine, and only mine.
I'm selfish. I can admit it. And I'm negative. I don't look at the world the way I use to. I dwell on all the hardships of people, of the world, and etc.
But I keep walking my path. I keep trying to find peacew within.
Everything crashes against the walls so quickly. One moment I love her and rehearse a marriage in my head and the next I'm wondering if she is faithful or if our love is as strong as I think it is. I stop and look at things again.
Kinda fucked up.
Sleep...I haven't been sleeping much again. My mind is keeping me awake. I'm thirsting to reunite myself with something - something I can't find.
Story of my life.
But she makes me forget. When I crawl into the bed with my body so tired her arms wrap around me - and I forget. Everything.
There is only her, and I, and peace.
I want every moment to feel like that. I want to erase all the dark thoughts, all the worry, all the sorrow, and all that other shit I carry. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't be fighting with myself to find a valid point for my existance.
I'm fucked up. But at least I'm still functional. How many people are at my point? How many people can handle what I'm handling? Not many. Not this young. Not this unprepared, haha.
"Everything is magic."
Something like that.
Time for sleep.