Oh crap, here comes another one.

[raidingparty]

Looking for a new cohabitor, available from the middle of May. $500 per month plus half of utilities, East Decatur, separate bathroom, bedroom, and walk-in closet. Let me know if you have friends looking.As a touch of the unexpected, I’m not actually going to be here when my roommates leave, or for vetting of new roomies. If I don’t get anyone in

Comments

[sentientjello]

In general, I don't think it's hypocritical to complain that "there are no good men left." It depends on what the definition of "good man" is and that changes based on culture etc. I'd say that with more modern attitudes and acceptance, there are fewer men left that would fit my grandmother's definition of a cinema-John-Wayne-type "good man". If that's what you're looking for, you might complain if you can't find it, and you wouldn't think of a less-than-super-hyper-masculine male friend as a possibility for you, and you might assume, since you're friends, that he thinks the same way as well...Because your relationship dynamics would probably be a burden on him (run on sentences!). A good heart isn't all it takes to be a couple. The complaint can be...I don't know that I'd say hypocritical, but definitely silly and highly irritating to complain "there are no good men left" when you have a demonstrable history of making terrible choices in men and apparently don't realize it.

I do agree with you that there is a very large difference between feeling hurt that you didn't get attention, and actually verbalizing anger about it. The former is human and reasonable. The latter presumes that you are owed attention and is obnoxious. The former would actually be a nice guy. The latter is the dreaded "Nice Guy".

[momentai]

Yes, I agree that it is not inherently hypocritical to complain about men. I also agree that different women will have different ideas about what they want in a partner. The hypocrisy comes in if you have a friend who matches what you claim you want, but then you never acknowledge that the friend is suitable for you.

Or, you complain about behavior in your male friends you dislike, but then you won't let your male friends complain about you, or other women.

As for the anger thing, it is tricky. How someone reacts to rejection is defined by a mix of their maturity level and personality. I don't think we should verbally attack anyone, especially in public, but just because you get angry does not mean you feel you are owed something.

Some men will feel sad, some will shrug it off, some will feel angry. So, if the guy vents to me, or his friends, I don't think that means he feels like the woman owed him a date, it just means he took the rejection really badly.

But insulting the woman to her face, or sending mean emails, and that sort of thing, yes, it crosses a line, and should be discouraged.