at work
ok. so for those of you who worried about me at work, it went ok.
tonight went fine with Dave. Nothing to say really. Work was a little hard, hard to look at him. But after, we talked and I felt better. Sadly because he was missing me and said he'd always miss what we had. And he'd always wonder if there had never been any Jenn. and that's something, he said, he can never tell Jenn. It made me happy to know.. in a cynical way perhaps, but to know i'm important in that kinda way was good. I'm a little more over him everyday. It's still hard for me to think about, I still need to focus on the bad to know it was right, I can't think too hard on the good or it'll depress me. I'll miss what we had too, but not the way he will, and he'll never know that. I'll miss the good things that I know I want to have in the guy I say "forever" with. Things I never found in another one before him... and how cute he was too... that was nice. But I don't think I'll always wonder "what if" because honestly, there'll always be" what ifs" in any situation, and I learned that way before Dave. This one is admittedly hard, but some of those bad things didn't have to do with Jenn. It had to do with him, the affection esp. They weren't BAD, but they weren't things I look for. The thing is, that everyone has problems, everyone has faults. And if those were his faults, I was DAMN happy. But maybe someone will have faults that are even better, if there is such a thing, lol.
I feel very mixed tonight. I am missing things about him, not our situation, and I'm sad. But I'm also ok, not something that's easy to explain.
tonight went fine with Dave. Nothing to say really. Work was a little hard, hard to look at him. But after, we talked and I felt better. Sadly because he was missing me and said he'd always miss what we had. And he'd always wonder if there had never been any Jenn. and that's something, he said, he can never tell Jenn. It made me happy to know.. in a cynical way perhaps, but to know i'm important in that kinda way was good. I'm a little more over him everyday. It's still hard for me to think about, I still need to focus on the bad to know it was right, I can't think too hard on the good or it'll depress me. I'll miss what we had too, but not the way he will, and he'll never know that. I'll miss the good things that I know I want to have in the guy I say "forever" with. Things I never found in another one before him... and how cute he was too... that was nice. But I don't think I'll always wonder "what if" because honestly, there'll always be" what ifs" in any situation, and I learned that way before Dave. This one is admittedly hard, but some of those bad things didn't have to do with Jenn. It had to do with him, the affection esp. They weren't BAD, but they weren't things I look for. The thing is, that everyone has problems, everyone has faults. And if those were his faults, I was DAMN happy. But maybe someone will have faults that are even better, if there is such a thing, lol.
I feel very mixed tonight. I am missing things about him, not our situation, and I'm sad. But I'm also ok, not something that's easy to explain.