dreaming
I had a dream last night that I was on a ship; don't know where it was going, but I was in a cabin with people I didn't know. I've always paid a lot of attention to my dreams because I think they're a way to sort out what's going on inside at a level I can't always get to any other way. I never apologize to myself or God for my dreams; they're who I really am or what I really think, anyway. I do think about them a lot, though. When I talk to God about them, it's more like a conversation, sorting things out, than asking God to make them go away. I need my dreams to stay sharp on where I really am.
Sometimes people ask each other whether they dream in black and white, which to me is completely weird. I don't see in black and white; why would I dream that way? Or they'll talk about how "real" a dream seemed, as if some experiences are foggy and others are sharp. I never get the conventions of movies, how things are soft focused and backgrounds indistinct. I never see life that way, why would my dreams look that way? Dreams are the same sensory experiences as real life, including what I see, taste, everything. It's an episode of real life that's purely mental.
What's strange about my dreams is that I know I'm driving all the characters, so why can't I predict what a given person will say or do? They're lives and minds are as alien to me as people around me in real life. They are other, so in my dreams the other characters are other as well. That makes me wonder why I have trouble understanding other people but can perfectly replicate their dialogue, motivations, unfathomable attitudes, and so on just like when I'm awake. They're never recreations of things I've already been through, either. It's always fresh interiors, characters, dialog, plots. Every night's movie night--at least 3 or 4 experiences of about a half hour each.
I have a hard time believing that other people don't do the same thing I do; we all see real life, and though we respond to it somewhat differently, our differences aren't all that absolute. So, that means most people probably dream like I do, whether they remember their dreams or not.
I wish I could remember what happened on the ship.
Sometimes people ask each other whether they dream in black and white, which to me is completely weird. I don't see in black and white; why would I dream that way? Or they'll talk about how "real" a dream seemed, as if some experiences are foggy and others are sharp. I never get the conventions of movies, how things are soft focused and backgrounds indistinct. I never see life that way, why would my dreams look that way? Dreams are the same sensory experiences as real life, including what I see, taste, everything. It's an episode of real life that's purely mental.
What's strange about my dreams is that I know I'm driving all the characters, so why can't I predict what a given person will say or do? They're lives and minds are as alien to me as people around me in real life. They are other, so in my dreams the other characters are other as well. That makes me wonder why I have trouble understanding other people but can perfectly replicate their dialogue, motivations, unfathomable attitudes, and so on just like when I'm awake. They're never recreations of things I've already been through, either. It's always fresh interiors, characters, dialog, plots. Every night's movie night--at least 3 or 4 experiences of about a half hour each.
I have a hard time believing that other people don't do the same thing I do; we all see real life, and though we respond to it somewhat differently, our differences aren't all that absolute. So, that means most people probably dream like I do, whether they remember their dreams or not.
I wish I could remember what happened on the ship.