ginormous
I HAVE
(X) programmed a calculator in math class
(X) studied a language on my own
(X) always hated mainstream
(X) dated a geek
( )married a geek
(X) done homework that wasn't required
(X) done homework for somebody else
(X) looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc. (cat)
( ) looked forward to doing my taxes
(X) attended public academic lectures on my own
( ) studied an artificial language (such as Klingon)
(X) created an artificial language
( ) filed the Census as my persona
( ) worn 2+ watches at the same time
(X) to keep track of multiple time zones
( ) named a pet after a scientist or inventor
( ) after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character
( ) after a mythological being
( ) after a technical term
( ) a Ph.D.
( ) a perfect attendance record in high school
( ) in college
(X) taken notes in more than one color
(x) thought I could win a quiz show
(X) corrected a professor in class
( ) corrected a salesperson on technical specs
(X) corrected a supervisor on spelling or grammar
( ) written a letter to the editor
( ) written fan fiction
( ) written hypertext fiction
( ) written for a webzine
( ) created a webzine
(X) indexed and catalogued any personal collection
(X) a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine
(X) an anthropological or history magazine
(X) a nature or science magazine
( ) a financial or literary magazine
( ) to a games or gaming magazine
( ) solved a Rubik's cube
(X) solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle
I HAVE BEEN...
( ) Geek of the Year
( ) in A/V club
( ) a theater techie
( ) to a gamecon
( ) to another con
( ) host at any con
( ) game master
( ) a computer lab monitor
( ) to a LAN gaming party
( ) host at a LAN gaming party
( ) in a fan club or on their mailing list
( ) "that guy" at a concert
( ) in the SCA
( ) seriously involved in the SCA
(X) Trivial Pursuit winner
(X) called a geek (no, but certainly a dork)
( ) several times
( ) labeled socially inept
( ) by your "friends"
(X) in "smart" classes
( ) on a game show
( ) a scout for 10+ years
(X) a high school mascot
(X) in marching band
( ) in show choir
( ) to band camp
(X) to a math/science camp
( ) in the chess club
(X) on any sort of academic team
(X) in a math competition
(X) placed high or won
(X) in a science competition
(X) placed high or won
(X) to museums by my own freewill
( ) referred to as Dilbert
( ) referred to as Velma
( ) dumped at a dance
( ) dumped at a Star Trek convention
I HAVE... (2)
(X) attended a geek party
(X) been really excited about attending a geek party
( ) thrown a geek party
( ) Beta tested this Geek Test
(X) roleplayed
( ) 3+ times a week
( ) for 12 hours straight
( ) introduced several people to roleplaying
( ) gamed in a tournament
( ) and won
(X) gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit (or scrabble)
( ) a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits
(X) or something equally geeky
(X) worn a costume other than for Halloween or a play
( ) worked for a Renaissance Faire
(X) criticized normality
( ) taken the Mensa test
( ) joined Mensa
( ) talked to plants to help them grow
(X) quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously
(X) gone to the movies alone
( ) regularly
( ) gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters
( ) alone
( ) waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets
( ) waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets
( ) skipped parties to program or repair computers
(X) to read or study
(X) to talk online
(X) because I'm not cool enough to go (erm, or felt that was true...who knows?)
( ) argued about which "Trek" is the best
(x) founded a club of any sort
(X) snorted while laughing
( ) never turned down a date
( ) held an office in the SCA
( ) written articles for SCA publications
( ) used "authenticity police" in a sentence
( ) framed my scroll(s)
I HAVE READ...
(X) Douglas Adams
( ) Piers Anthony
(X) Isaac Asimov
(x) Arthur C. Clarke
(X) Stephen Hawking
( ) Robert Heinlein
(X) Robert Jordan
(X) H.P. Lovecraft
( ) Anne McCaffrey
(X) J.R.R. Tolkien
( ) any "The Companion to ..." books
(X) books based on Star Trek or Star Wars
(X) comic books
(X) graphic novels
(X) fan fiction
( ) hypertext fiction
( ) The Knowne Worlde Handbook
(X) books on math/science outside class
(X) books on grammar outside class
(X) books on history outside class
(X) Russian literature outside class
( ) gaming books
(X) cover to cover
( ) entire calculator manuals
( ) entire computer manuals
(X) software/computer language books
( ) for a reading circle or book club
(X) joke/humor books for self-enrichment
I WANT...
( ) more Magic the Gathering cards
(X) a real lightsaber
(X) a date
(X) more computers
( ) to work for Microsoft
( ) to one-up Microsoft
( ) to call Microsoft "Microshaft"
( ) my own comic book store
( ) my own gaming store
( ) a yurt
( ) Jean Grey
( ) Jeff Goldblum
( ) 7 of 9
( ) Jean-Luc Picard
(X) Scully
( ) Mulder
( ) Max Guevera
( ) Scott Bakula
( ) Willow or Buffy
(X) Legolas or Frodo
( ) Leia or Amidala
( ) ASIMO
(X) more friends
(X) more RAM
(X) GPS
(X) 100-sided dice
(X) to take over the world
I BELIEVE...
( ) in unicorns and dragons
( ) in fairies, trolls or leprechauns
( ) in aliens
( ) in vampires
( ) that I am a vampire
( ) in the Force
( ) that anything can be fixed
( ) Linux is the only worthwhile OS
I ROUTINELY WATCH...
(X) X-Files
( ) Star Trek
( ) Star Trek: The Next Generation
( ) Star Trek: Voyager
( ) Deep Space 9
( ) Babylon 5
( ) Farscape
( ) Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(X) MST3K
(X) Dexter's Lab
(X) Superhero cartoons
( ) Beat the Geeks
(X) Jeopardy
(X) Quantum Leap
( ) Highlander
( ) Junkyard Wars
(X) spinoff shows of any of the above
(X) documentaries
(X) obscure movies
(X) foreign films
(X) Anime
(X) History or Discovery Channel
(X) Weather Channel
(X) Sci-fi Channel
(X) Food or Game Show Network
(X) Cartoon Network
(X) Tech TV
(X) bonus features on DVDs
I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)...
( ) Bladerunner
( ) Clerks
(X) The Dark Crystal
( ) The Fly
( ) Highlander: the movie
( ) The Last Starfighter
(X) The Fellowship of the Ring
(X) The Two Towers
(X) The Matrix
(X) Any Monty Python movie
(X) The Neverending Story
(X) Princess Bride
(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Spaceballs
( ) TRON
(X) War Games
(X) Any Star Trek movie
( ) All Star Trek movies
(X) The Star Wars Trilogy
( ) Star Wars Episode I and II
( ) Transformers: the movie
( ) Weird Science
( ) Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980
I OWN...
( ) 5+ of the above movies on DVD
( ) 10+ of the above movies on DVD
( ) pocket protector
( ) Rubik's cube
( ) 2+ Rubik's cubes
(X) more than one slinky
(X) four-color pen
( ) whole/partial set of figurines
(X) multi-sided dice
( ) gaming book
( ) a few gaming books
( ) a ton of gaming books
( ) >1 Steve Jackson game
( ) and the expansion packs
( ) Most of the MageKnight line
( ) DC HeroClix line
( ) Marvel HeroClix line
( ) Magic the Gathering cards
( ) Universal remote control with LCD display
(X) 1 or 2 computers
( ) 3+ computers
( ) a computer currently running on Linux
( ) PDA, pager, and cell phone
(X) DVD burner
( ) Sun, HP, SGI server
( ) 2+ DVD players
( ) 2+ sound effects CDs
( ) art made from color gels
( ) a techie black outfit
( ) a toy lightsaber
( ) a real lightsaber
( ) script to any Monty Python film
( ) any Star Trek film
( ) any Star Wars film
( ) rough draft of any of the above
(X) several maps and/or globes
( ) thermometer that also measures humidity
( ) a full set of encyclopedias
(X) 2+ dictionaries
(X) 2+ calculators
( ) > 1 chess set
(X) > 1 trivia game
( ) > 1 video game console
( ) > 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES)
( ) beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes
( ) and use them as cups or dishware
( ) an exotic animal..hmm i guess we could call sushi that
( ) an endangered species
( ) voltmeter
( ) binoculars
( ) spyglass
( ) telescope
(X) microscope
(X) magnifying glass
( ) laser pointer
I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)...
(X) a wizard
(X) a superhero
(X) a physicist
(X) a historian
( ) an economist
(X) a librarian
( ) a meteorologist
(x) an astronomer
( ) a vampire
( ) a professional sound techie
( ) a professional lighting techie
I LIKE TO...
(x) play with numbers
(X) play with words/sounds
( ) play with hazardous chemicals
( ) make documentaries
(X) read on Friday or Saturday nights
(X) go to the library
(X) browse the dictionary to learn new words
( ) browse the Geek webring
(X) do logic games
(X) put together puzzles
( ) help people with their finances
(X) turn on my computer first thing in the morning
(X) use 1024x768 or higher
( ) use 1280x1024 or higher
(X) program
(X) roleplay
( ) buy DVDs for their bonus materials
( ) buy used game consoles
( ) buy used video games
( ) buy used electronics
(X) work mathematical problems
(X) work chemical formulas
(X) do physics in my head
( ) tinker with electronics
( ) shop at Radio Shack
(X) make people think I'm weird
(X) play with Lego
(X) listen to NPR or AM radio
( ) watch public access TV
( ) listen to audiobooks
(X) learn on my own
I PLAY...
( ) Steve Jackson games
( ) Warhammer
( ) Call of Cthulhu
(X) chess
(X) word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords)
( ) games on my PDA
(X) trivia games
(X) games that have received a Mensa award
(X) solitaire games
(X) 5+ times a week
( ) They Might Be Giants
( ) Devo
(X) Weird Al Yankovic
( ) Dr. Demento
( ) Man or Astroman
( ) Ween
(X) Weezer
( ) books on tape or CD
(X) show tunes
(X) cartoon soundtracks
(X) music that nobody else listens to, ever
( ) no sports
( ) the accordion
(X) more than one musical instrument
(X) computer strategy games
( ) Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc.
(X) games via the internet
( ) an excessive amount of computer games
( ) Risk
(X) all the way to the end
I WEAR...
( ) glasses
( ) that I have repaired myself
( ) software company t-shirts
(X) computer-humor t-shirts
( ) computer-related ties, underwear, etc.
( ) comic book-related ties, underwear, etc.
( ) shirts that proclaim geekhood
( ) Star Wars t-shirts
( ) only black t-shirts
( ) short sleeve dress shirts (men only)
( ) a fanny pack
( ) ugly or vintage
(X) as little brand name clothing as possible
( ) my shirt tucked into my underwear
( ) Spock Ears
( ) Vampire teeth
( ) permanently due to cosmetic dentistry
( ) hi-tops
( ) a digital watch
( ) day-of-the-week underwear
( ) suspenders
I COLLECT...
( ) comic books
( ) superhero paraphernalia
( ) spoons
( ) calculators
( ) vintage computers
( ) bugs
( ) trains
( ) pins
( ) snow globes
(X) neat-looking rocks
( ) stamps
(X) coins
( ) dirt
I HAVE...
( ) cracked software
( ) hacked into another computer system
( ) had long Mac vs. PC debates
( ) created an operating system
( ) Beta tested software applications
( ) Beta tested games
( ) corrected Intel on hardware specs
( ) altered registry files
(X) used Usenet or IRC
( ) created a newsgroup
( ) a hard drive dedicated to mp3s
( ) written shareware
( ) written a regular expression parser
(X) followed comic strips online
( ) a computer at home with no cover on it
( ) designed a robot
( ) built a robot
( ) built a go-cart
( ) built a computer
( ) built my own network of computers
( ) designed a nuclear device of some sort
( ) built a nuclear device of some sort
( ) plotted world domination
(X) destroyed things just to see how they work
( ) played Final Fantasy
( ) defeated Final Fantasy
( ) defeated all Final Fantasy games
( ) played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight
(X) created a website
( ) before 1996
( ) submitted my personal website to search engines
( ) owned a personal domain
( ) before 1996
( ) been on a listserv
( ) created a listserv
(X) more than 3 e-mail addresses
(X) more than 3 screen names
( ) dated someone over the internet
( ) married someone I met over the internet
( ) exaggerated on this test to score better
( ) flat out lied on this test to score better
I KNOW...
(X) C++
(X) UNIX
(X) Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, or Delphi
(X) Java
( ) BASIC
(X) ASCII
(X) HTML and/or JavaScript
(X) l337 sp33k
( ) Latin
( ) what http:// stands for
(X) what dpi stands for
(X) what E=mc^2 means
(X) the three laws of robotics
(X) and who invented them
( ) Clark's Third Law
( ) how to set a telescope in polar alignment
( ) the value of pi (to 10 digits)
( ) more people online than in real life
(X) who H.P. Lovecraft is
(X) that Aol is the Spawn of Satan
(X) that Bill Gates is both God and Satan
(X) how to use special functions on a scientific calculator
(X) chemical symbols for 10+ elements
(X) the difference between speed and velocity
(X) the names of 3 temperature scales
(X) and the H2O freezing/boiling points of each
(X) the difference between nuclear fission and fusion
(X) and can explain it in detail
(X) how to count in hexadecimal
( ) the difference between octal and octane
(X) what RAM and ROM stand for
( ) who created MSDOS
( ) who first implemented windows on their OS
(X) what a "patch" means in computer terms
(X) what the blue screen of death means
I KNOW...
( ) all about Jeanine Salla
(X) what increasing barometric pressure means
(X) how to count to 31 on one hand
(X) how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards
( ) how to roll-step and high-step in time
( ) what GURPS stands for
(X) my age in binary
(X) my Jedi name
( ) my Geek Code
(X) the relationship between Chainmail and D&D
(X) the names of 5+ Hobbits
( ) 5+ dwarves from The Hobbit
( ) 10+ Smurfs
( ) 2+ Dragonlance characters
(X) 5+ comic book character
( ) 5+ Food TV hosts
( ) 5+ Star Trek characters
( ) from each generation
(X) the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies
(X) that the new millennium started in 2001
( ) what a THAC0 is
(X) extensive, useless trivia
(X) how to write 1999 in Roman numerals
(X) that the answer is 42
(X) that I am a geek
BONUS ROUND
(X) I am a female geek (5 bonus points)
(X) My profession requires a certain level of geekiness
(X) Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased
(X) I think this Geek Test is really cool
(X) I can think of other things that should get me points on this test
Because it's nice to have a culture.
And it's four in the morning.