Facts About Tages
I decided to have some fun last night and wrote up 31 facts about my friend Tages.
I'll warn you up front that a lot of these references are kinda obscure if you're not a libertarian or anarcho capitalist.
1.Tages is self-governed.
2.Tages once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
That man was Chuck Norris.
3.Chuck Norris' safe word is Tages.
4.Tages is like Ayn Rand with a charming sense of humor.
5.To his dying day, Murray Rothbard cherished his autograph from Tages.
6.Justin Raimando wishes he was as cool as Tages.
7.Tages knows that Captain America won't stay dead.
8.Clancy Brown is Tages' stunt double.
9.Iron Man wants Tages to register.
10.Tages is a Nomad of the Time Streams.
11.The Moon is a Harsh Mistress to everyone
that isn't Tages.
12.Tages is a killing word.
13.Tages fought the Law
and won.
14.This is a spoiler for the latest issue of 52.
Black Adam’s new magic word?
It’s Tages.
15.Tages is against force, theft and fraud.
16.Tages convinced pirates and ninjas to stop fighting.
This lasted 24 hours before Tages grew bored and set them against each other once more.
17.Napalm loves the smell of Tages in the morning.
18.If Jack Bauer asked Tages for help, the show would be named 12.
19.Tages could have saved Firefly.
I forgive him.
20.The Israelites wrote "Tages" in lamb's blood on their homes to protect
their first born children.
21.Tages is the Final Cylon.
And will somebody turn off that frackin' music!?!
22.This one is shamelessly stolen from Jack Bauer is God:
"When Tages stares into the sun, the sun flinches."
23.The Great Firewall of China
cannot stop Tages.
24.Tages converted Noam Chomsky to anarcho capitalism.
25.You know the magic bullet?
Tages could have pulled off that shot.
26.Tages only rolls natural 20's.
Even in d10 systems.
27.Tages has been romantically linked with Scarlett Johansson.
I forgive him
28.When Bo doesn't know something
he asks Tages.
29.The character of Winston Wolf from Pulp Fiction
is loosely based on Tages.
30.In high school Tages was voted "Most likely to choose freedom"
and "Best Dressed."
31.Tages still calls them
freedom fries.
I'll warn you up front that a lot of these references are kinda obscure if you're not a libertarian or anarcho capitalist.
1.Tages is self-governed.
2.Tages once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
That man was Chuck Norris.
3.Chuck Norris' safe word is Tages.
4.Tages is like Ayn Rand with a charming sense of humor.
5.To his dying day, Murray Rothbard cherished his autograph from Tages.
6.Justin Raimando wishes he was as cool as Tages.
7.Tages knows that Captain America won't stay dead.
8.Clancy Brown is Tages' stunt double.
9.Iron Man wants Tages to register.
10.Tages is a Nomad of the Time Streams.
11.The Moon is a Harsh Mistress to everyone
that isn't Tages.
12.Tages is a killing word.
13.Tages fought the Law
and won.
14.This is a spoiler for the latest issue of 52.
Black Adam’s new magic word?
It’s Tages.
15.Tages is against force, theft and fraud.
16.Tages convinced pirates and ninjas to stop fighting.
This lasted 24 hours before Tages grew bored and set them against each other once more.
17.Napalm loves the smell of Tages in the morning.
18.If Jack Bauer asked Tages for help, the show would be named 12.
19.Tages could have saved Firefly.
I forgive him.
20.The Israelites wrote "Tages" in lamb's blood on their homes to protect
their first born children.
21.Tages is the Final Cylon.
And will somebody turn off that frackin' music!?!
22.This one is shamelessly stolen from Jack Bauer is God:
"When Tages stares into the sun, the sun flinches."
23.The Great Firewall of China
cannot stop Tages.
24.Tages converted Noam Chomsky to anarcho capitalism.
25.You know the magic bullet?
Tages could have pulled off that shot.
26.Tages only rolls natural 20's.
Even in d10 systems.
27.Tages has been romantically linked with Scarlett Johansson.
I forgive him
28.When Bo doesn't know something
he asks Tages.
29.The character of Winston Wolf from Pulp Fiction
is loosely based on Tages.
30.In high school Tages was voted "Most likely to choose freedom"
and "Best Dressed."
31.Tages still calls them
freedom fries.