<3 Baxter <3
It's days like today that seem to put things into perspective. It was 4 months ago today that I lost my lil boy Baxter. Oh I miss him so much. His smile, his bark, his lil growls when I hugged him (he loved my hugs lol). He was so soft, and so warm. And his presence just made everyone so happy. I could go on and on about all the wonderful things that he did. And I guess that he continues to do because he lives on in so many hearts, not just mine.
But It was in the few months before he passed that I was SO worried about leaving him for 4 months. Not being able to see him on weekends like I had when I was at CSUSB was going to suck, because just seeing him on weekends was hard enough. For those of you who have never met him, he was honestly someone you could hang out with all the time. He was just that cool lol. But knowing I'd be going to Erie in August, and not coming home until December, well, that was killer. I thought, how am I going to be without him? I just didn't know.
Well, now he's gone. And it's been 4 months. And the hardest 4 months I've ever had. It was just as difficult as I imagined, but worse...because I can never see him again. I guess this is where that perspective comes in, because I'd give anything to have my baby healthy and back at home playing with his little soccer balls while I sit here in Erie. I was so worried about not being able to see him for a little while, it never occurred to me that I'd lose him before I even left for Pennsylvania. I guess you can spend all your time worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, and at the same time, life will just happen. I didn't get to see Baxter the day he passed. Well, I didn't see him alive. And that hurts more than anyone can know. But I did get to see him live. And for that I am forever grateful.
In memory of Baxter, I hope everyone can take a few minutes to think about the people in things in your life that you value and cherish, just as I did my Baxter. All he ever wanted was for the people around him to be happy, and to be together. There was nothing more he loved than having all of his family in one room at the same time, so he could take turns being loved by all of us.
I miss you so much Baxter.
But It was in the few months before he passed that I was SO worried about leaving him for 4 months. Not being able to see him on weekends like I had when I was at CSUSB was going to suck, because just seeing him on weekends was hard enough. For those of you who have never met him, he was honestly someone you could hang out with all the time. He was just that cool lol. But knowing I'd be going to Erie in August, and not coming home until December, well, that was killer. I thought, how am I going to be without him? I just didn't know.
Well, now he's gone. And it's been 4 months. And the hardest 4 months I've ever had. It was just as difficult as I imagined, but worse...because I can never see him again. I guess this is where that perspective comes in, because I'd give anything to have my baby healthy and back at home playing with his little soccer balls while I sit here in Erie. I was so worried about not being able to see him for a little while, it never occurred to me that I'd lose him before I even left for Pennsylvania. I guess you can spend all your time worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, and at the same time, life will just happen. I didn't get to see Baxter the day he passed. Well, I didn't see him alive. And that hurts more than anyone can know. But I did get to see him live. And for that I am forever grateful.
In memory of Baxter, I hope everyone can take a few minutes to think about the people in things in your life that you value and cherish, just as I did my Baxter. All he ever wanted was for the people around him to be happy, and to be together. There was nothing more he loved than having all of his family in one room at the same time, so he could take turns being loved by all of us.
I miss you so much Baxter.