2007? fk off and die!
So its 2007....
Well it can sod off so far, hated the "christmas break" wanted to see the back of a shitty arse pissy 2006 and then 2007 just bloody carried on from 2006, there is no grand break to it, its just the days just role on.
I have not really wanted to go back to SC since the toilet incident, (at the time when the top floor was closed of due to a shooting) where the words "nignog" were uttered by girls.
I know its just ignorance on the their part but after all these years of putting up with racist comments at school, along the streets in Essex, at college, I didn't realise how that little incident could affected me until trying each month to power myself up to go to SC and just bottled out each time.
I suppose it really shocked me as I remember my first night at SC in August 2005 and I thought what an amazing place, you could feel almost free in the knowledge that it didn't matter who you were or what you looked like, that it was all about the music and all about dancing your ass off.
I have to break this cycle of fear and go in January but the real fear will be visiting that loo again (silly aint it!! I plan not to drink so I dont have to go! lol)
I just don't want to be there, at SC and start looking at people wondering if they are looking at me and feel resentful that a black woman is here. Feeling like that would make me so bloody paranoid. (and Dee dont do paranoia!!!)
Other crap is bothering me too but I cant be bothered to mention it all on live journal, will chat to you all as and when I see ya.
So, its SC on 19th with my (bought my own bloody xmas pressie) new digi cam and bring my "ebm, industral, dancing pirate, glowstick, beautiful self.
Love to you all,
Dee.
Well it can sod off so far, hated the "christmas break" wanted to see the back of a shitty arse pissy 2006 and then 2007 just bloody carried on from 2006, there is no grand break to it, its just the days just role on.
I have not really wanted to go back to SC since the toilet incident, (at the time when the top floor was closed of due to a shooting) where the words "nignog" were uttered by girls.
I know its just ignorance on the their part but after all these years of putting up with racist comments at school, along the streets in Essex, at college, I didn't realise how that little incident could affected me until trying each month to power myself up to go to SC and just bottled out each time.
I suppose it really shocked me as I remember my first night at SC in August 2005 and I thought what an amazing place, you could feel almost free in the knowledge that it didn't matter who you were or what you looked like, that it was all about the music and all about dancing your ass off.
I have to break this cycle of fear and go in January but the real fear will be visiting that loo again (silly aint it!! I plan not to drink so I dont have to go! lol)
I just don't want to be there, at SC and start looking at people wondering if they are looking at me and feel resentful that a black woman is here. Feeling like that would make me so bloody paranoid. (and Dee dont do paranoia!!!)
Other crap is bothering me too but I cant be bothered to mention it all on live journal, will chat to you all as and when I see ya.
So, its SC on 19th with my (bought my own bloody xmas pressie) new digi cam and bring my "ebm, industral, dancing pirate, glowstick, beautiful self.
Love to you all,
Dee.