i dont ever do this...i apologize
i'm in the sixth grade again...holding back tears while my dad scalds me and yells at me because of my grades... i was caught off guard, because i was actually excited to show him...i didnt do bad at all...but it wasnt good enough...and he says i shouldnt think its good enough...but what if i think its as good as i can do? I cant use my fuckin mom as an excuse any longer...maybe the real answer is that i'm average...i excel at a small number of things, i'm bad at a number of things, i'm average with everything else...maybe this is the best i can do, and i'm destined to work at a dead end job that pays badly and i dont like, and i never get to see the world...i never get to be what i want in life...you could argue i dont try hard enough, but it's easy for some people to say this because all their lives they've been taught to be the best and dont settle for anything else...why do i get that now? after 11 years of average...fuck that, i dont blame anyone else but myself, i haven't the initiative to succeed in today's world, i dont have the desire either,its all about who kisses the most ass and who looks the best...in our society that praises the stuck ups and the cheaters and liars...i dont belong...i'm just average, plain, me...and i'm sorry