(no subject)
Hey guys. Does anyone still read this journal? I'm struggling with Bipolar Disorder. I was recently diagnosed and now that everything (and I mean everything) in my life makes sense now, the grief I feel over this stigmatized diagnosis is all sharp angles. Sometimes...my breath catches in my chest over what it means to have a real mental illness. I have to sit down in the supermarket, I have to stop on the side of the road and just grieve.
I suck at my job. I'm a case manager for the mentally ill. Yeah the irony is awesome; the irony is not lost on me. I got the worst three month review at my new job because, apparently, I'm more disorganized than some of my clients. My boss said that I sometimes dress like a client, she used the word "disshevled". My clients all have schizophrenia or bipolar or other mental illness. Lovely. Just FUCKING LOVELY.
I dislike myself very strongly right now. My heart is breaking.
I have no even-keel. I'm off kilter. I'm gonna go snap a rubber band or do something more self-distructive. I'll try to write a coherent entry some time soon.
I suck at my job. I'm a case manager for the mentally ill. Yeah the irony is awesome; the irony is not lost on me. I got the worst three month review at my new job because, apparently, I'm more disorganized than some of my clients. My boss said that I sometimes dress like a client, she used the word "disshevled". My clients all have schizophrenia or bipolar or other mental illness. Lovely. Just FUCKING LOVELY.
I dislike myself very strongly right now. My heart is breaking.
I have no even-keel. I'm off kilter. I'm gonna go snap a rubber band or do something more self-distructive. I'll try to write a coherent entry some time soon.