(no subject)
Hey ya'll. Just an update to work some stuff out on the page.
I'm feeling randomly anxious but I guess that that is what happens when you don't take your meds. I didnt mean to not take them, I just got off schedule around the holiday so I got one of those 7-day-a-wk plastic holder thingys to remind me and that helps a little bit but unfortunately, it takes a while for hte medicine to take hold in your system. :(
Amy and I are still planning the commitment ceromony but mom's ovarian cancer has spread to more organs and I'm nervous that she will not get to see it in October. On the other hand, she has defeated the odds so far. I just worry extremely because it seems like the odds will catch up to her sooner or later. It's times like this that I wish that I believed that praying helped stop bad things from happening. Mom was in the hospital this week bc she had a fever and was vomitting and they did a CAT scan and that is how they found out that the cancer is back.
Dad wanted me to come home but this is (hopefully) my weekend off from work and I need to catch up (already) on school work. He tried to guilt me into it but the fact is that mom could live another 4, 10, 20 yrs and if I go home every time she sneezes she will feel like it's a death vigil or something. I'm nervous that my mom will die too soon or before I'm ready but I'm not going to live my life as if it will happen tomorrow either. I don't think that the early death of a parent is one that you can prevent and mom wants me to live my life for life. She does not want me to life my life in antcipation of her death.
Type your cut contents here.So the wedding plans continue. Assuming her health regulates and she is stable, the wedding is still on October 6th. We finally have a location and it's a room in the wannabe country club in the community where my parents live. The room is free so that is really really nice. My best friend is making the cake because she is a pastry chef and my exrooommate is flying over from German and she is making a silent film (with music and our vows as the basckgorund noise) of the wedding (hopefully and so that should be really cool. Also, she's shooting it in black and white. My good friend from Journalism classes will register online and be our pastor if we can't find a pastor that we like well enough. If Joey can marry Chandler and Monica on friends, Micheal can marry us.
My dad wanted us to have a 'real' pastor/religiousy person but Im not religious and not that many people will reside over agay weding (trust me, i've called around) but I don't like most celergy I've met anyway and I think that having my best (male) friend (who is AMAZING with words and speaking) would make the ceromony more special and private.
Our wedding budget is only 1,000 bucks which is very cheap for a wedding and a cheaper budget than most peoples. If it werent for my parents getting money from my mother's car accident, we would have had to do the ceromony for like 400 bucks so I'm very grateful to have such a generous budget. I have no dress yet but I like the way the bias cut clingy ones look becuase I feel like an exploded cupcake or a marshmelllow in the most traditional ball gown things.
Our colors are royal blue and hunter (dark) green). Blue for amy's favortie color and green for my favorite and the environment. I am making all of the 'take away' flower centerpieces and they will be fruit and flowers in vases (which is the newest trend and looks a lot color than it sounds) in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet for the gay rainbow deal, a different color per table. (picture of this idea to come in the future).
Our honeymoon is the most excited part to me because we are going to the http://michfest.com/ Its basically women and music and nakedness and body paint and orgasm workshops and lesbians!
Type your cut contents here.Things have been okay lately. I was feeling sluggish and triggered by the abundance of carbohydrates in my parents house so I've given them up. Not completely nor for ever nor as a diet but just as a way for me to narrow down the options of foods in my parents house because their fridge is packed to the gills and that overwhlems me.
Quitting the carbs has helped me narrow down my options and feel more enterjected because I'm less bogged down by simple sugars and junk in my system and it eliminates the vending (bingeing) machine for me. Physically (and mentally) its really helped clear my system in some ways.
I still have a slice or two of bread or a piece of fruit when I want it. Its not like I'm gripping the kitchen table in anixety over how I should eat either so that's good. I think this is a good eating choice for me since I'm not being restrictive or disordered with it.
I'm feeling randomly anxious but I guess that that is what happens when you don't take your meds. I didnt mean to not take them, I just got off schedule around the holiday so I got one of those 7-day-a-wk plastic holder thingys to remind me and that helps a little bit but unfortunately, it takes a while for hte medicine to take hold in your system. :(
Amy and I are still planning the commitment ceromony but mom's ovarian cancer has spread to more organs and I'm nervous that she will not get to see it in October. On the other hand, she has defeated the odds so far. I just worry extremely because it seems like the odds will catch up to her sooner or later. It's times like this that I wish that I believed that praying helped stop bad things from happening. Mom was in the hospital this week bc she had a fever and was vomitting and they did a CAT scan and that is how they found out that the cancer is back.
Dad wanted me to come home but this is (hopefully) my weekend off from work and I need to catch up (already) on school work. He tried to guilt me into it but the fact is that mom could live another 4, 10, 20 yrs and if I go home every time she sneezes she will feel like it's a death vigil or something. I'm nervous that my mom will die too soon or before I'm ready but I'm not going to live my life as if it will happen tomorrow either. I don't think that the early death of a parent is one that you can prevent and mom wants me to live my life for life. She does not want me to life my life in antcipation of her death.
Type your cut contents here.So the wedding plans continue. Assuming her health regulates and she is stable, the wedding is still on October 6th. We finally have a location and it's a room in the wannabe country club in the community where my parents live. The room is free so that is really really nice. My best friend is making the cake because she is a pastry chef and my exrooommate is flying over from German and she is making a silent film (with music and our vows as the basckgorund noise) of the wedding (hopefully and so that should be really cool. Also, she's shooting it in black and white. My good friend from Journalism classes will register online and be our pastor if we can't find a pastor that we like well enough. If Joey can marry Chandler and Monica on friends, Micheal can marry us.
My dad wanted us to have a 'real' pastor/religiousy person but Im not religious and not that many people will reside over agay weding (trust me, i've called around) but I don't like most celergy I've met anyway and I think that having my best (male) friend (who is AMAZING with words and speaking) would make the ceromony more special and private.
Our wedding budget is only 1,000 bucks which is very cheap for a wedding and a cheaper budget than most peoples. If it werent for my parents getting money from my mother's car accident, we would have had to do the ceromony for like 400 bucks so I'm very grateful to have such a generous budget. I have no dress yet but I like the way the bias cut clingy ones look becuase I feel like an exploded cupcake or a marshmelllow in the most traditional ball gown things.
Our colors are royal blue and hunter (dark) green). Blue for amy's favortie color and green for my favorite and the environment. I am making all of the 'take away' flower centerpieces and they will be fruit and flowers in vases (which is the newest trend and looks a lot color than it sounds) in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet for the gay rainbow deal, a different color per table. (picture of this idea to come in the future).
Our honeymoon is the most excited part to me because we are going to the http://michfest.com/ Its basically women and music and nakedness and body paint and orgasm workshops and lesbians!
Type your cut contents here.Things have been okay lately. I was feeling sluggish and triggered by the abundance of carbohydrates in my parents house so I've given them up. Not completely nor for ever nor as a diet but just as a way for me to narrow down the options of foods in my parents house because their fridge is packed to the gills and that overwhlems me.
Quitting the carbs has helped me narrow down my options and feel more enterjected because I'm less bogged down by simple sugars and junk in my system and it eliminates the vending (bingeing) machine for me. Physically (and mentally) its really helped clear my system in some ways.
I still have a slice or two of bread or a piece of fruit when I want it. Its not like I'm gripping the kitchen table in anixety over how I should eat either so that's good. I think this is a good eating choice for me since I'm not being restrictive or disordered with it.