(no subject)
my soul is tired.
i feel very stretched thin right now. i need nature, i need retreat, i need something to strengthen myself again. so much has gone down in this past weekend from so many different aspects of my life. it all came to a head tonight when i was driving back to bloomsburg from a viewing (one of the messy things...) and i was hysterical. i almost had to pull over. i'm having to reevaluate so much and try to be objective. but stupid repression... stupid freud... i had how your mind can keep truths from you. like half of you is lying to the other half. and even if you feel like you're going on a gut instinct, even that is so subconsiously altered and biased. i'm having a theorizing night and its not helpping my mind to calm down.
i'm sort of excited for school this week... it will be something to keep my mind busy and my time occupied.
i wish i had faith these past few days. i wish that i believed in a god and was sure that when i prayed it would be heard.
i feel very stretched thin right now. i need nature, i need retreat, i need something to strengthen myself again. so much has gone down in this past weekend from so many different aspects of my life. it all came to a head tonight when i was driving back to bloomsburg from a viewing (one of the messy things...) and i was hysterical. i almost had to pull over. i'm having to reevaluate so much and try to be objective. but stupid repression... stupid freud... i had how your mind can keep truths from you. like half of you is lying to the other half. and even if you feel like you're going on a gut instinct, even that is so subconsiously altered and biased. i'm having a theorizing night and its not helpping my mind to calm down.
i'm sort of excited for school this week... it will be something to keep my mind busy and my time occupied.
i wish i had faith these past few days. i wish that i believed in a god and was sure that when i prayed it would be heard.