I don't know what to do...

[ragedemotions]

Well things have been really shitty lately and the most surprising part is they have absolutely nothing to do with my mother. I'm feeling, neglected would be the wrong word, abused would be the correct term! How can you make me feel like the most important thing in the world one minute and act like you want nothing to do with me the next? And the most disturbing part that I can't figure out is you called me AMBER, you never call me that. WHEN DID THAT CHANGE? If you want to break up with me would you please just to it because I can't take anymore of this torture. You may not see it but I do and I FEEL it! I just wanted to burst into tears when I got off the phone with you today. You are making me feel like I'm nothing and you claim to love me... GUESS YOU DON'T AND NEVER DID, my mistake! I can't take this much longer. I can understand you have a life that doesn't involve me and I get that, I have that too, but do you have to shut me out completely and expect me to be there at a drop of a hat for you. How is that fair? And that hardest part of all of this is that I really, truly LOVE YOU you asshole and now I'm starting to regret that. We seriously need to talk and something needs to change. Even if that means we can't be together anymore... I think us breaking up would hurt me ten times more then it would ever affect you.

For what it's worth at the moment which doesn't seem like much... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!