(no subject)
well its midnight and once agian im still awake. i hate my life nowadays it really sucks. this counseling bullshit takes up all my free time, and with the free time i do have, nothing happens because nobody really comes to visit me except david and thats only like once a week. on top of that stuff with ginna sucks and as much as i wish i could let go and move on i cant/dont want to.
i should probably be in bed sleeping because i have work in the morning but i probably wont fall asleep until ohh i dunno 2 or 3 like its been for the past two weeks. i seriously feel so depressed and its like my life has hit rock bottom.
like ok last night i get into a fight with my parents while on the phone with ginna but i dont htink they knew but anyway she heard a lot of it and then after i was like so sad and i tried taling to her but somehow she ended up siding with them or something and sorta yelling at me so i was like "ok thanks i clealry cant talk to you about this so i'll cya later bye"
the only person whos cool enough to listen to me lately is Niky Andrews. I met her cuz she was in my support group and shes a kickass friend. Oh and of course i cant forget Lauren but anyway like last night i tried calling her like an hour later and she was like i have to work in the morning so i'll call u tomrrow im like ugh fine ok dont worry about it. and then today like weve only talked for like 5 times for like 5 min each because it seems like she cant take a goddamned minute out of her day to talk to/listen to me at all.
and u kno i would probably normally just blwo it off but i mean i actually have some stuff i need to talk about and i guess she just cant be there for me anymore. because like i called her at 11 like she said i shoudl and shes like "well my sister has people over and they are in my room so can you call me back in like half hour" and im like ok fine and then i call her abck and shes like "oh well i can only talk for like 5 minutes or so" and then her mom like made her get off the phone with me because her mom hates me or something.
i dont know i feel like ive lost so much its just like ive moved all over again and it SUCKS SO HARDCORE! i wish someone who will remain unnamed cough cough ginna cough cough would talk to me on the phone when i really need to talk to someone. i dunno its things like that that just make me wanna give up and try to move on but its just like i cant... i really wish i could give up.
[better now?]
i should probably be in bed sleeping because i have work in the morning but i probably wont fall asleep until ohh i dunno 2 or 3 like its been for the past two weeks. i seriously feel so depressed and its like my life has hit rock bottom.
like ok last night i get into a fight with my parents while on the phone with ginna but i dont htink they knew but anyway she heard a lot of it and then after i was like so sad and i tried taling to her but somehow she ended up siding with them or something and sorta yelling at me so i was like "ok thanks i clealry cant talk to you about this so i'll cya later bye"
the only person whos cool enough to listen to me lately is Niky Andrews. I met her cuz she was in my support group and shes a kickass friend. Oh and of course i cant forget Lauren but anyway like last night i tried calling her like an hour later and she was like i have to work in the morning so i'll call u tomrrow im like ugh fine ok dont worry about it. and then today like weve only talked for like 5 times for like 5 min each because it seems like she cant take a goddamned minute out of her day to talk to/listen to me at all.
and u kno i would probably normally just blwo it off but i mean i actually have some stuff i need to talk about and i guess she just cant be there for me anymore. because like i called her at 11 like she said i shoudl and shes like "well my sister has people over and they are in my room so can you call me back in like half hour" and im like ok fine and then i call her abck and shes like "oh well i can only talk for like 5 minutes or so" and then her mom like made her get off the phone with me because her mom hates me or something.
i dont know i feel like ive lost so much its just like ive moved all over again and it SUCKS SO HARDCORE! i wish someone who will remain unnamed cough cough ginna cough cough would talk to me on the phone when i really need to talk to someone. i dunno its things like that that just make me wanna give up and try to move on but its just like i cant... i really wish i could give up.
[better now?]