(no subject)
Dearest,
It's easy for us both to continue to be upset with each other, for each of us to keep on pretending like we're not hurt. But I'm tired of it, I am hurt. I have to put on a straight face everywhere I go, I have to act like inside I'm not completely crushed, emotionally and spiritually. I have no one to talk to, because no one wants to listen. What do I do? I bottle it all up. I keep it all under lock until I just fucking explode, then go and do something totally fucking stupid. It's hard, it's real hard dealing with this shit. I loved you, and you fucking gave up on me.
Why do I do the stupid things I do?
I don't know any other way of acting.
My emotions run deep, and once they're hurt it's a paralyzing chill.
I can't just pretend that since I haven't seen you in some weeks that I'm not always thinking about you. That I don't miss you. and that I wish you would've believed in me. I'm tired of pretending. that everything's okay. that I'm just fine. it's not, and i'm not.
I really would like to go out, and see you out, and not get depressed about it. I'm just not there yet. Be mad at me all you want, but you broke my heart. i guess it takes a long time to heal.
It's easy for us both to continue to be upset with each other, for each of us to keep on pretending like we're not hurt. But I'm tired of it, I am hurt. I have to put on a straight face everywhere I go, I have to act like inside I'm not completely crushed, emotionally and spiritually. I have no one to talk to, because no one wants to listen. What do I do? I bottle it all up. I keep it all under lock until I just fucking explode, then go and do something totally fucking stupid. It's hard, it's real hard dealing with this shit. I loved you, and you fucking gave up on me.
Why do I do the stupid things I do?
I don't know any other way of acting.
My emotions run deep, and once they're hurt it's a paralyzing chill.
I can't just pretend that since I haven't seen you in some weeks that I'm not always thinking about you. That I don't miss you. and that I wish you would've believed in me. I'm tired of pretending. that everything's okay. that I'm just fine. it's not, and i'm not.
I really would like to go out, and see you out, and not get depressed about it. I'm just not there yet. Be mad at me all you want, but you broke my heart. i guess it takes a long time to heal.