Paranoid/ YahooAnswers!
I was so glad to find the YahooAnswers website. its fun people put questions and others comment and leave answers.but now its making me paranoid.after reading the fat thing i kept thinking "then all my fears about what Matt thinks about me are true" and now reading about a girl seeing her boyfriend tell his friend online that he wants to sleep with some girl he works with omg! i keep thinking, well Matt has the msn messenger he's always talking to Ryan and Guy what if he says that about the many attractive women at work.we dont have sex a lot what if he's sleeping with someone at work? he has the perfect opportunity to do it! im never home when he's home.what if he doesnt love me? what if he does think im digusting? what if we'll never move out and have a place to ourselves? what if he is tired of me and my shit? what if he is sleeping with Allison or Christina or all those other girls that flirt with him? this girl flirted with him the other day and he kept looking at her! what if he ends up breaking my heart? still to this day i ask myself why is he with me? and think about what if this hadnt continued? where would we both be? i'd probably be with Aleks.and i look at him all the time and think, wow i cant believe we're together. does he love me as much as i think he does? he always says that he wouldnt say things if he didnt mean it,and he's said some amazing things.but i can never believe him.once again to this day,9 months after he's said he loves me i still cant believe him.why? peobably b/c of my own insecurities.he once asked me if i thought i didnt deserved to be loved,i said no everyone deserves to be loved.but what if deep down i think that i dont? but i really dont think that.maybe i think i dont deserved to be loved by him? but i dont think thats true either b/c ive dated guys and had guys tell me they loved me that were much more amazing then him.and i believed them.im sure this all has to do with my raging insecuirties and rock bottum self esteem.i have really torn myself down to nothing...
p.s.time to stop reading yahooanswers lol but they are entertaining.