(no subject)
I’m so tired of being played as a part of your games.
So tired of letting you swing me around like that shiny new toy you just can’t get enough of.
In retrospect, maybe I should have seen this coming.
Maybe I should have been more prepared for the stabbing pain and the gut-wrenching abandonment.
But worst of all is the way your indifference is echoing into places where is has no business residing.
This weekend was supposed to be mine and mine alone.
a champagne birthday you called it - and you smiled too. You smiled with sparkling eyes and affectionate tones…..even as you ripped me to shreds. You begged my understanding and my indulgence. And I gave it to you.
Of course I gave it to you.
I give you everything.
But you lied.
You did it with gentle eyes and a smiling mouth - “I need to stay home with my brother…”
…two text messages later and you’re out on the town, shopping and watching movies.
On my birthday -
Without me.
Regardless of the fact that you cancelled the one event that I’d been looking forward to all month.
And now….now you bleed into my family life and manage to ruin this weekend yet again by your simple inability to provide answers.
They knew before I did that underneath your gold was nothing but cheap metal.
They knew before I did that in the end I would come away with a broken heart, and a bleeding mouth.
….and now, they can’t help but turn to me - already broken and struggling not to let the tears devour me whole - and say “I told you so…”
Happy Champagne Birthday
may your tears eventually dry….
and may you realize how alone you truly are.
……..fuck………
So tired of letting you swing me around like that shiny new toy you just can’t get enough of.
In retrospect, maybe I should have seen this coming.
Maybe I should have been more prepared for the stabbing pain and the gut-wrenching abandonment.
But worst of all is the way your indifference is echoing into places where is has no business residing.
This weekend was supposed to be mine and mine alone.
a champagne birthday you called it - and you smiled too. You smiled with sparkling eyes and affectionate tones…..even as you ripped me to shreds. You begged my understanding and my indulgence. And I gave it to you.
Of course I gave it to you.
I give you everything.
But you lied.
You did it with gentle eyes and a smiling mouth - “I need to stay home with my brother…”
…two text messages later and you’re out on the town, shopping and watching movies.
On my birthday -
Without me.
Regardless of the fact that you cancelled the one event that I’d been looking forward to all month.
And now….now you bleed into my family life and manage to ruin this weekend yet again by your simple inability to provide answers.
They knew before I did that underneath your gold was nothing but cheap metal.
They knew before I did that in the end I would come away with a broken heart, and a bleeding mouth.
….and now, they can’t help but turn to me - already broken and struggling not to let the tears devour me whole - and say “I told you so…”
Happy Champagne Birthday
may your tears eventually dry….
and may you realize how alone you truly are.
……..fuck………