Not exactly what I meant- "sometimes almost trying to become" is the thrust of it. You are you, and you are the things that you are. Those things often seem effortless. Sometimes, though, it seems to me that you are "almost trying to become" a mystic, as if you are trying (but hesitantly) to reach behind the curtain. Does that make more sense?
I know that the world, the universe, the whole of creation, is vast but shrouded- much of what we take for real is illusory; much of what we cannot see is the foundation of the purpose of life. Our approaches to encountering those entities "beyond the veil" (and the times when those things poke through into our flesh-and-blood existence) are quite different.
I know that I could stand to dream a little bit more, to step outside the rational and the testable and transcend for a while. But that scares me: to leave the solid feel of "my feet on the ground" and to place my head in the clouds feels dissociative, separate, alien. When I read your journal, sometimes I wonder if I'm reading the opposite. Am I?
i understand, yes. and yes.... tentatively reaching out for something much bigger, to peek behind the curtain and somehow survive the process.
to leave the solid ground is scary. we cover ourselves up with the "reality" that is easy for us to live with, the "reality" that takes pain away or that clouds the dreams that now seem unattainable. it is easier to keep feet on the ground, indeed. i hope we both find the courage to uncurl our toes a little bit.
I know that the world, the universe, the whole of creation, is vast but shrouded- much of what we take for real is illusory; much of what we cannot see is the foundation of the purpose of life. Our approaches to encountering those entities "beyond the veil" (and the times when those things poke through into our flesh-and-blood existence) are quite different.
I know that I could stand to dream a little bit more, to step outside the rational and the testable and transcend for a while. But that scares me: to leave the solid feel of "my feet on the ground" and to place my head in the clouds feels dissociative, separate, alien. When I read your journal, sometimes I wonder if I'm reading the opposite. Am I?
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to leave the solid ground is scary. we cover ourselves up with the "reality" that is easy for us to live with, the "reality" that takes pain away or that clouds the dreams that now seem unattainable. it is easier to keep feet on the ground, indeed. i hope we both find the courage to uncurl our toes a little bit.
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