Plauged by dreams
I have never been much of a dreamer. I had them beaten out of me long ago by my family and my education. I was taught that there is too much to be done in this world to waste your time dreaming of others.
I never used to dream at night, except for occasional fears of coming exams and that nonsense, but recently things have been changing. Over the last few weeks I have been dreaming almost everynight, I will awake at 3 in the morning having dreamt yet another story involving people I wish to forget in situations at my old school or at a party or similar and I can feel the self loathing undermining me...
By the time I wake up in the morning after shaking myself back to sleep I remember nothing except the self loathing and flashes of the people I wish to forget.
Life at home has calmed down for now... but my parents anniversary is coming up on the 14th... I HATE THAT FUCKING SHITTY HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking comercialism, fighting, shouting I LOATHE IT!!! So I am looking forward to that. If you EVER get married make sure you don't do it on that day, personally I am aiming for 29/02... makes the anniversaries a whole lot easier.
Why is life so unhappy? what is the point of living if you aren't happy? IS everyone unhappy or is it just the only people who can stand being around me? Is it the result of being around me? Fuck this shit.
On a totally unrelated matter I think I am gonna get my haircut soon... it has started getting knotted and it hurts dammit!
Better get back to doing fuck all.
I never used to dream at night, except for occasional fears of coming exams and that nonsense, but recently things have been changing. Over the last few weeks I have been dreaming almost everynight, I will awake at 3 in the morning having dreamt yet another story involving people I wish to forget in situations at my old school or at a party or similar and I can feel the self loathing undermining me...
By the time I wake up in the morning after shaking myself back to sleep I remember nothing except the self loathing and flashes of the people I wish to forget.
Life at home has calmed down for now... but my parents anniversary is coming up on the 14th... I HATE THAT FUCKING SHITTY HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking comercialism, fighting, shouting I LOATHE IT!!! So I am looking forward to that. If you EVER get married make sure you don't do it on that day, personally I am aiming for 29/02... makes the anniversaries a whole lot easier.
Why is life so unhappy? what is the point of living if you aren't happy? IS everyone unhappy or is it just the only people who can stand being around me? Is it the result of being around me? Fuck this shit.
On a totally unrelated matter I think I am gonna get my haircut soon... it has started getting knotted and it hurts dammit!
Better get back to doing fuck all.