Back to the Past
Today was alot better than yesterday, by far! I didnt go to school because I just wasnt in the mood to deal with alot of people, not to mention with all that happened yesterday I really just needed a day to chill out. Mom left with Terri Bocson.. and then Mike came over and spend the day with me. I made no bake cookies for the first time ever in my life.. and there not half bad, if i do say so myself.. not enough chocolate though!
Mom and Rick went out to get a tree for Christmas tonight.. but we didnt end up getting one, i guess everything was closing, something like that, i dont know i didnt go. Well since i usually decorate the tree alone every year, mike has volunteered to help me out with inside decor this year, which should be lots of fun.. that is if we ever get around to doing it. Oh! and mom bought us a "Gingerbread House Making Kit" a while back.. so thats something else we get to make this Christmas.
I finally figured out part of the reason why I got so upset last night, yes my feelings got hurt.. no matter how slefish or stupid that may seem, but thats just how I felt. I came to the conclusion that this whole situation is too close to being in 9th grade again dealing with the whole "Nicole" deal. That may seem crazy, but the way I relate this to that is that I thought everything was ok, or not even ok.. but good enough to look past, and then out of no where.. without any explanation a person that you love and are so close to, begins shoving you away. Its a scary and very horrid feeling. I still dont know why this all happend.. and maybe never will.. but at this point and time, the only thing I wish is that JaZ is happy.. whether or not I'm apart of her life or not, I wont ever stop caring.. I'll just stop showing it, because after all.. your wish is my command!
Mom and Rick went out to get a tree for Christmas tonight.. but we didnt end up getting one, i guess everything was closing, something like that, i dont know i didnt go. Well since i usually decorate the tree alone every year, mike has volunteered to help me out with inside decor this year, which should be lots of fun.. that is if we ever get around to doing it. Oh! and mom bought us a "Gingerbread House Making Kit" a while back.. so thats something else we get to make this Christmas.
I finally figured out part of the reason why I got so upset last night, yes my feelings got hurt.. no matter how slefish or stupid that may seem, but thats just how I felt. I came to the conclusion that this whole situation is too close to being in 9th grade again dealing with the whole "Nicole" deal. That may seem crazy, but the way I relate this to that is that I thought everything was ok, or not even ok.. but good enough to look past, and then out of no where.. without any explanation a person that you love and are so close to, begins shoving you away. Its a scary and very horrid feeling. I still dont know why this all happend.. and maybe never will.. but at this point and time, the only thing I wish is that JaZ is happy.. whether or not I'm apart of her life or not, I wont ever stop caring.. I'll just stop showing it, because after all.. your wish is my command!