Life changing!
WOW! Isnt it amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye. It is scary how you can have everything good and going for you one moment you blink and in less than a heartbeat it all changes and you know that it will never be the same again. Thursday morning I woke up and I was tired and depressed and second guessing everything that was going on in my life. I was fighting to start making the right decsions for me and the baby. Friday morning I woke up in pain. By friday night I had gone through a life time of firsts. I had my first IV, my first and hopefully last life flight. First surgery. First round of pain medication, and first child. I dont know what did it. I dont know what changed. All I know is that as I sit here typing away my little girl is lying in the NICU fighting for her life. She is five days old and about to have her first surgery. There is a hole in her heart. She is now scared though. She is ready to show us that she is strong and we cant bring her down. She is 14 weeks premature. She weighs 1pound and 14 ounces. She is a fighter. She has gone above and beyond from the git go. She isnt scared but I am. I am terrified.I hate that not a week ago I was battling giving her up for adoption and six months ago I wanted to have an abortion, now I feel like I am being punished for those thoughts. I have faith though. I belive that God wouldnt bring me (us) this far only to stop it and take her away. She is my little miracle baby. She is 1 pound and 14 ounces of pure faith, hope, strength and Gods love. She is the "Lilly" of the valley.