I am still alive
I know that it has been a long while since I have posted, but know that there have been massive life altering things that have been going on and a LV was the last thing that I could think about or had time for. Life around here sux. I hate it. I hate every decison that I have made in my life that has led me to where I am now. I feel like such a failure and a fuck up. One minute I was having a good time celebrating life and knowing what was going on and the next my whole existiance and everything that I ever knew or thought that I knew changed. I am completly lost and dont know where to go or what to do or who to talk to and who not to talk to. I know who I WANT to talk to. Just to have a five minute converstation with, but I am afraid in my heart that will never happen. I am afraid that in my giant mistake I will never get to tell him and he will never know. I dont know that he will care but I think I at least owe him that.