how i long for the days of freshman year
back in my freshman year, i was sassy. i didn't take no shit from nobody. observe the following essay that i didn't actually turn in because i wasn't quite that sassy.
Dear Mr. Bowers
I am completely unconcerned with who the US should sided with in the hypothetical war. Owing to the fact that Washington issued a neutrality proclamation, I feel it is a complete and utter waste of my time to think through the thousands of possible permutations of history. Were we to do this with any given event, we would never accomplish anything in social studies as we would be too hung up on what could have happened instead of what actually did. Dwelling in the past is entirely stupid and irrelevant. Since I wasn’t even alive in this era, I doubt that my opinion on the matter is of any consequence to anyone, except as another stupid paper for you to correct, thusly making this essay a complete waste of your time also. To be downright honest….who cares who the U.S. should have sided with? The point is, they didn’t side with anyone. So why should I bother? I’m not a historian, and I certainly don’t have the experience to weigh any of the consequences of military action on behalf of either country involved. To do so would be inappropriate, especially since, at this moment, I don’t recall any specific piece of evidence meriting an alliance with either Britain or France, which is likely attributed to the fact that I was absent when you taught the material, but that’s never seemed important to you in the past, as you continue to tell me we went over nothing and then force me into taking a test of which 99% composed of material covered during my absence. Since you requested a well-written essay, I decided I would employ my eloquence and vocabulary to ridicule your pathetic assignment. I hope you enjoyed this letter proving the futility of any further assignments.
Sincerely
Adria Simon.
it is clear that i was a no-shenannigans taking hard-knocks hooligan back in the day. to be 13 again!
that way i woulnd't be taking the SAT II tomorrow and i wouldn't be failing it.
Dear Mr. Bowers
I am completely unconcerned with who the US should sided with in the hypothetical war. Owing to the fact that Washington issued a neutrality proclamation, I feel it is a complete and utter waste of my time to think through the thousands of possible permutations of history. Were we to do this with any given event, we would never accomplish anything in social studies as we would be too hung up on what could have happened instead of what actually did. Dwelling in the past is entirely stupid and irrelevant. Since I wasn’t even alive in this era, I doubt that my opinion on the matter is of any consequence to anyone, except as another stupid paper for you to correct, thusly making this essay a complete waste of your time also. To be downright honest….who cares who the U.S. should have sided with? The point is, they didn’t side with anyone. So why should I bother? I’m not a historian, and I certainly don’t have the experience to weigh any of the consequences of military action on behalf of either country involved. To do so would be inappropriate, especially since, at this moment, I don’t recall any specific piece of evidence meriting an alliance with either Britain or France, which is likely attributed to the fact that I was absent when you taught the material, but that’s never seemed important to you in the past, as you continue to tell me we went over nothing and then force me into taking a test of which 99% composed of material covered during my absence. Since you requested a well-written essay, I decided I would employ my eloquence and vocabulary to ridicule your pathetic assignment. I hope you enjoyed this letter proving the futility of any further assignments.
Sincerely
Adria Simon.
it is clear that i was a no-shenannigans taking hard-knocks hooligan back in the day. to be 13 again!
that way i woulnd't be taking the SAT II tomorrow and i wouldn't be failing it.