(no subject)
i think the weirdest thing ever is how the answer to all my worries can be held in one tiny little pill...for some strange reason it amazes me how something that tiny can either heal you or seriously mess you up....i dunno, i guess i get hung up over the fact that with pills people can end their life and with pills people can extend their life....thats cracked out....my health has never really been in question before, so this pill thing is quite new to me....its so weird that someones entire wellbeing can be dependent on such a small puny little thing...yeah, i know--i am weird, i cant get over it....i guess it really hit when i was waiting for my prescriptions at meijer and the old lady next to me was joking around that this was her 4th time that week going to meijer to get medication...she found it to be quite humorous, saying to me 'oh dear missie, it happens to all of us'....needless to say, i love my meds, but i do not look forward to growing old.....
hm.....to be able to go a night without laying my lungs out on the bathroom floor at 4 in the morning, to be able to actually stay through a whole class period, to be able to take a deep breathe in without my throat yearning to revolt...is all too weird for me.....trust me, i tell you this not because i desire your sympathy, but because of an all together different reason....
...i guess all the free time i have had when i was sick has made me think....how i subconciously and sublimanally take my health for granted....gosh, i was not even that sick at all--no puking or fever or anything--and the past week i practically died....if i died having the dragon cough, what if it was something worse?.....i cant even imagine what it would be like to have a "permanent sickness"....to be blind, deaf, or handicapped is beyond my comprehension..first because i cant fathom the every day effort that must be put into just merely LIVING, and second of all because i cant fathom the possible ridicule and attitude others would have towards you....how fortunate i was just to get a "sinus infection/they dont know what i have"....how blessed i was that pills actually exist to help me get better.....i dunno, i am sure everyone has thoughts like these when they are sick, or when they have relatives that are handicapped, but how often does it fade?....how often do we let the busyiness of our lives once again consume us into becoming the selfish people we love being.....when will i realize my health is a gift, not something i own and posses...He has blessed me so greatly, when will i realize this and bow down before Him in utter awe and gratefulness, of how much He has blessed us, and how much He loves us....He takes care of His lambs, that not only reassures me but comforts my entire being until i feel so overwhelmed it overflows....next time i walk on campus, i might just take a longer look at the faces, possibly go ask that girl in my HEV class how she is doing....we have no idea where people are coming from, if they have been sick, or if they have been hurting....if we are so blessed to have our entire health, the least we can do is help those who dont....
i would like to thank everyone who reached out to me when i was sick....dan j for the soup, josh m for the fruit breezers, sarahs mom for the call, joe for the constant questioning as to my well being, sarah for copying HST, pearcy and eric for the whiteboard notes, jess for everything and ryan for the flowers.....i wasnt even that sick and everyone was so incredibly thoughtful and kind, what would i do with out you guys?
rae :)
the song of the day is pretty you by fono cuz it makes me smile....im so happy to be ME again
hm.....to be able to go a night without laying my lungs out on the bathroom floor at 4 in the morning, to be able to actually stay through a whole class period, to be able to take a deep breathe in without my throat yearning to revolt...is all too weird for me.....trust me, i tell you this not because i desire your sympathy, but because of an all together different reason....
...i guess all the free time i have had when i was sick has made me think....how i subconciously and sublimanally take my health for granted....gosh, i was not even that sick at all--no puking or fever or anything--and the past week i practically died....if i died having the dragon cough, what if it was something worse?.....i cant even imagine what it would be like to have a "permanent sickness"....to be blind, deaf, or handicapped is beyond my comprehension..first because i cant fathom the every day effort that must be put into just merely LIVING, and second of all because i cant fathom the possible ridicule and attitude others would have towards you....how fortunate i was just to get a "sinus infection/they dont know what i have"....how blessed i was that pills actually exist to help me get better.....i dunno, i am sure everyone has thoughts like these when they are sick, or when they have relatives that are handicapped, but how often does it fade?....how often do we let the busyiness of our lives once again consume us into becoming the selfish people we love being.....when will i realize my health is a gift, not something i own and posses...He has blessed me so greatly, when will i realize this and bow down before Him in utter awe and gratefulness, of how much He has blessed us, and how much He loves us....He takes care of His lambs, that not only reassures me but comforts my entire being until i feel so overwhelmed it overflows....next time i walk on campus, i might just take a longer look at the faces, possibly go ask that girl in my HEV class how she is doing....we have no idea where people are coming from, if they have been sick, or if they have been hurting....if we are so blessed to have our entire health, the least we can do is help those who dont....
i would like to thank everyone who reached out to me when i was sick....dan j for the soup, josh m for the fruit breezers, sarahs mom for the call, joe for the constant questioning as to my well being, sarah for copying HST, pearcy and eric for the whiteboard notes, jess for everything and ryan for the flowers.....i wasnt even that sick and everyone was so incredibly thoughtful and kind, what would i do with out you guys?
rae :)
the song of the day is pretty you by fono cuz it makes me smile....im so happy to be ME again