This one is cracking me up every time I hear it.
My radio station is so cool they're actually playing it...
O, sinner do not stray from the straight and narrow way
For the Lord is surely watching what you do
If you approach the Devil's Den, turn 'round-don't enter in!
Lest the hand of the Almighty fall on you
He'll fuck you up, yes, God will fuck you up
If you dare to disobey his stern command
He'll fuck you up, don't you know he'll fuck you up
So you better do some prayin' while you can
Long ago a man named Lot had a wife he thought was hot
But she could not stop her black and sinful ways
You know it was her own damn fault when God turned that bitch to salt
That's the way he used to work back in those days
He fucked'em up, he really fucked'em up
When the people went and turned their backs on him
He can fuck you up, no shit-he'll fuck you up
Just like he fucked the people up back then
I used to have a friend named Ray who walked that evil way
He cursed and drank and broke his neighbors fence
You know Ray was full aware that some sheep were over there
And he knew them in the biblical sense
God fucked him up, he went and fucked Ray up
Went and payed him back for all his wicked sins
He fucked him up, fucked that boy completely up
Now he's married to a Presbyterian
Raen.