Almassy Legacy: Spare Update #1
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the first spare update! I'd like to preface this update by saying that, usually, I don't play spares in my legacies. I'm more than happy to just throw them all in a house and forget about them. However, since June and Helle both had college sweethearts, I figured I might as well play 'em!
So, this is a little light on commentary since it zips through some play-throughs of their households. Also: some pics are a little NSFW, so be aware!
So here's what June was originally going to be dressed up as. It's definitely adorable, but I couldn't come up with anything that had the same ring as Chastity the Strippin' Nun!
By the way - everyone loves these poles! EVERYONE!! People will flock into the club just to dance on these stupid poles and ruin your shots. I was subjected to many naked grandma titties. ):
Oh yes, the unsavory charlatan approves.
Charlatan: Ooooh yes, quite a lovely sight, eh? Daddy likes! Nyehhhehehehe nyehhhh
Ugh.
When June isn't out stripping, she's relaxing at home with her new hubby, Professor Kiddie-Diddler.
June: Hey, are those... are there people looking at us? Are we famous or something?
Prof. Kenji: No, we're just featured on Perverted Justice, nothing to worry about.
Wrong! You're not a sweet old coot! You know what you're doing! Also his LTW is to marry off six kids. DREAM ON, GRAMPS
Both Kenji and June are family sims, so it takes about ten nanoseconds for babies to arrive.
Did you know that this screen fills me with dread now? All I can think about is... QUADRUPLETS. The wait is agonizing.
The first baby is a girl named Megan, and her twin is a boy named Jules.
Then she immediately dumped the babies on the ground so she could get knocked up again. June, I love you, but your dedication to being a family sim is not helping!
Here's Megan as a toddler, with daddy's nose and Ayako's eyes.
Despite the difference in skin tone, Jules is remarkably similar to his twin! And he has the most cherubic face. ♥ I can really see the June in him!
Megan is practically Parvati 2.0. How something like her came out of June, I have absolutely no idea.
Megan: THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID FUCK YOUR HUGGLES
Jules: That hurts me! ...right...here! in my heart! D:
Here's baby number three, Graham. I'm kinda surprised that he looks just like Megan, since I nuke clone babies with the batbox.
GODDAMNIT ARE YOU SERIOUS. I hate family sims now. KEEP YOUR DAMN LEGS TOGETHER
The family got moved to a different house, where Megan and Jules celebrated their birthday. Okay, if Megan is Parvati and Helle's lovechild, then Jules is June and Claus's lovechild. cough pohtaytohs coughcough :D
Jules: Megan, why? Can't we get along? This pains me... in my heart. *dramatic stare*
OH LOOK WHO SHOWED UP
So you may have been wondering where Luke's number one enemy/stalker went to. Truth is, so have I - after Ayako moved in, she just disappeared. No more trash can kickings or attempted battery, nothing! Nowhere to be found on community lots, either. You can imagine my surprise when I looked outside and went, "OH HOLY SHIT IT'S GINNIFER!!"
Ginnifer: BABY SQUEEZIN'! BABY SQUEEZIN'!
June: Uhhhmm... hmmm... no thanks. :|
Sorry Ginnifer. Even June can smell the crazy on you.
Aww! I love it when the kids enslave themselves and do hours of housework! You're the best, Jules!
Graham grew up and looks very similar to Megan (as far as I can tell) so I gave him a bald head and big ass eyebrows so I'd like him better.
June: Oh boy! Babies! I sure do love babies. I love rubbing them, and having them. I love having babies so much I could have them all day, every day. I love babies so much I could eat them, but I won't because then I wouldn't have any babies any more! Babies!
I GET IT, FAMILY SIMS LOVE BABIES, BLAH BLAH BLAHDHDHDHHDJDH
June: Hey, look what I can do! HHHHHHHNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Maid: WHY GOD DO I ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE QUIVERFULL HOUSES JESUS
CUE HEART ATTACK NUMBER TWO
Baby number #1: A girl named Frida!
Baby number #2: A boy named Perry! Yes, this makes FIVE CHILDREN. Kenji is old as dirt and he's going to die soon, meaning that June is going to be stuck raising all of these kids by herself.
At this point I decided that I didn't want to deal with five children, so let's focus on Helle a little bit. She got hitched to llama mascot Drake Jung, who occasionally shows up in a llama head and makes me giggle.
And yes, he is one of THOSE sims. He loves pulling his mirror out of his ass!space and staring at himself forever.
Drake is also a family sim (WHY) so ACR got Helle knocked up fairly quickly.
Helle's first baby is a little girl named Cria, who, even as an infant, has better eyebrows than I do. But as a toddler...
AHHHHH SHE IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER ♥ I could look at her all damn day. Gorgeous baby!
Cria: YES MOTHER, GAZE UPON MY GLORIOUS VISAGE
Baby number two, who comes along fairly quickly - another girl, named Yvonne. (Finally, the first third generation kid who DOESN'T have Ayako's eyes! Every child to date has her's so far!)
Paul: IMAGINE THAT THIS GARBAGE CAN IS YOUR FACE, SHITBAG
Don't be such a dickhead Paul. This is why Parvati is busy having sex with weird guys in cow suits instead of you.
Cria stole my heart. Even when she's dumb and eats snow, it's adorable!
And here she is as a child! BEAUTIFUL! Oh, and just to make this even better...
YVONNE IS ADORABLE TOO!! Oh my god, Helle totally made up for being the forgotten quad by making some amazing children! I really can't wait to see the cousins as adults, and hopefully put them up for download.
Well, I'm not sure how many of these spare updates I'll do, but I hope you had fun reading this one! This weekend will be super busy for me, but hopefully there'll be a proper update in the next two weeks! See you then!
So, this is a little light on commentary since it zips through some play-throughs of their households. Also: some pics are a little NSFW, so be aware!
So here's what June was originally going to be dressed up as. It's definitely adorable, but I couldn't come up with anything that had the same ring as Chastity the Strippin' Nun!
By the way - everyone loves these poles! EVERYONE!! People will flock into the club just to dance on these stupid poles and ruin your shots. I was subjected to many naked grandma titties. ):
Oh yes, the unsavory charlatan approves.
Charlatan: Ooooh yes, quite a lovely sight, eh? Daddy likes! Nyehhhehehehe nyehhhh
Ugh.
When June isn't out stripping, she's relaxing at home with her new hubby, Professor Kiddie-Diddler.
June: Hey, are those... are there people looking at us? Are we famous or something?
Prof. Kenji: No, we're just featured on Perverted Justice, nothing to worry about.
Wrong! You're not a sweet old coot! You know what you're doing! Also his LTW is to marry off six kids. DREAM ON, GRAMPS
Both Kenji and June are family sims, so it takes about ten nanoseconds for babies to arrive.
Did you know that this screen fills me with dread now? All I can think about is... QUADRUPLETS. The wait is agonizing.
The first baby is a girl named Megan, and her twin is a boy named Jules.
Then she immediately dumped the babies on the ground so she could get knocked up again. June, I love you, but your dedication to being a family sim is not helping!
Here's Megan as a toddler, with daddy's nose and Ayako's eyes.
Despite the difference in skin tone, Jules is remarkably similar to his twin! And he has the most cherubic face. ♥ I can really see the June in him!
Megan is practically Parvati 2.0. How something like her came out of June, I have absolutely no idea.
Megan: THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID FUCK YOUR HUGGLES
Jules: That hurts me! ...right...here! in my heart! D:
Here's baby number three, Graham. I'm kinda surprised that he looks just like Megan, since I nuke clone babies with the batbox.
GODDAMNIT ARE YOU SERIOUS. I hate family sims now. KEEP YOUR DAMN LEGS TOGETHER
The family got moved to a different house, where Megan and Jules celebrated their birthday. Okay, if Megan is Parvati and Helle's lovechild, then Jules is June and Claus's lovechild. cough pohtaytohs coughcough :D
Jules: Megan, why? Can't we get along? This pains me... in my heart. *dramatic stare*
OH LOOK WHO SHOWED UP
So you may have been wondering where Luke's number one enemy/stalker went to. Truth is, so have I - after Ayako moved in, she just disappeared. No more trash can kickings or attempted battery, nothing! Nowhere to be found on community lots, either. You can imagine my surprise when I looked outside and went, "OH HOLY SHIT IT'S GINNIFER!!"
Ginnifer: BABY SQUEEZIN'! BABY SQUEEZIN'!
June: Uhhhmm... hmmm... no thanks. :|
Sorry Ginnifer. Even June can smell the crazy on you.
Aww! I love it when the kids enslave themselves and do hours of housework! You're the best, Jules!
Graham grew up and looks very similar to Megan (as far as I can tell) so I gave him a bald head and big ass eyebrows so I'd like him better.
June: Oh boy! Babies! I sure do love babies. I love rubbing them, and having them. I love having babies so much I could have them all day, every day. I love babies so much I could eat them, but I won't because then I wouldn't have any babies any more! Babies!
I GET IT, FAMILY SIMS LOVE BABIES, BLAH BLAH BLAHDHDHDHHDJDH
June: Hey, look what I can do! HHHHHHHNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Maid: WHY GOD DO I ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE QUIVERFULL HOUSES JESUS
CUE HEART ATTACK NUMBER TWO
Baby number #1: A girl named Frida!
Baby number #2: A boy named Perry! Yes, this makes FIVE CHILDREN. Kenji is old as dirt and he's going to die soon, meaning that June is going to be stuck raising all of these kids by herself.
At this point I decided that I didn't want to deal with five children, so let's focus on Helle a little bit. She got hitched to llama mascot Drake Jung, who occasionally shows up in a llama head and makes me giggle.
And yes, he is one of THOSE sims. He loves pulling his mirror out of his ass!space and staring at himself forever.
Drake is also a family sim (WHY) so ACR got Helle knocked up fairly quickly.
Helle's first baby is a little girl named Cria, who, even as an infant, has better eyebrows than I do. But as a toddler...
AHHHHH SHE IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER ♥ I could look at her all damn day. Gorgeous baby!
Cria: YES MOTHER, GAZE UPON MY GLORIOUS VISAGE
Baby number two, who comes along fairly quickly - another girl, named Yvonne. (Finally, the first third generation kid who DOESN'T have Ayako's eyes! Every child to date has her's so far!)
Paul: IMAGINE THAT THIS GARBAGE CAN IS YOUR FACE, SHITBAG
Don't be such a dickhead Paul. This is why Parvati is busy having sex with weird guys in cow suits instead of you.
Cria stole my heart. Even when she's dumb and eats snow, it's adorable!
And here she is as a child! BEAUTIFUL! Oh, and just to make this even better...
YVONNE IS ADORABLE TOO!! Oh my god, Helle totally made up for being the forgotten quad by making some amazing children! I really can't wait to see the cousins as adults, and hopefully put them up for download.
Well, I'm not sure how many of these spare updates I'll do, but I hope you had fun reading this one! This weekend will be super busy for me, but hopefully there'll be a proper update in the next two weeks! See you then!