Such a Complicated Start to April
Why do we ever fight against inevitability?
For example, a drama is playing out in the cafe. 1 walks in, gets food, sees 2 either loading trays, restocking cups, whatever. 1 steps to 2. Discourse follows. We can never see past a fork in the road of the future, so the choices made are beyond the scope of my sight. But the first part is inevitable, and the general question is where will it lead? One wonders if 2 is just an object to 1. One wonders if all are not simply an object to 1.
One can end the togetherness with a laugh. With a cry. The latter wouldn't matter. The first would be happier. What kind of inevitability am I fighting against? I think I know.
"...and when you come across your passions in life, just give it your all." Wise words from Helen. I wonder where that will lead me, since those things that I'm really passionate about I do fight for. Hopeless? I don't know. 1 and others have to answer things like that.
Time is my enemy. I have much to do, today and in the next month in general.
My thoughts are too weighted down at the moment, and even sitting here in the sunshine listening to Santana is not fixing things. I think, like I said in my last post, it's no longer just one thing that will make it better. There's a lack of security somewhere, and I've got to figure out exactly where it lies, right down to the exact thought, and correct it. It's not something anyone else can do, though their actions have a way of affecting things. Still, I think it just depends on the sense I get, and lately there's been a change. I'm trying to find out where that fits in my thought-process.
I'll be so glad when this month is up if for no other reason then maybe I'll have some answers.
For example, a drama is playing out in the cafe. 1 walks in, gets food, sees 2 either loading trays, restocking cups, whatever. 1 steps to 2. Discourse follows. We can never see past a fork in the road of the future, so the choices made are beyond the scope of my sight. But the first part is inevitable, and the general question is where will it lead? One wonders if 2 is just an object to 1. One wonders if all are not simply an object to 1.
One can end the togetherness with a laugh. With a cry. The latter wouldn't matter. The first would be happier. What kind of inevitability am I fighting against? I think I know.
"...and when you come across your passions in life, just give it your all." Wise words from Helen. I wonder where that will lead me, since those things that I'm really passionate about I do fight for. Hopeless? I don't know. 1 and others have to answer things like that.
Time is my enemy. I have much to do, today and in the next month in general.
My thoughts are too weighted down at the moment, and even sitting here in the sunshine listening to Santana is not fixing things. I think, like I said in my last post, it's no longer just one thing that will make it better. There's a lack of security somewhere, and I've got to figure out exactly where it lies, right down to the exact thought, and correct it. It's not something anyone else can do, though their actions have a way of affecting things. Still, I think it just depends on the sense I get, and lately there's been a change. I'm trying to find out where that fits in my thought-process.
I'll be so glad when this month is up if for no other reason then maybe I'll have some answers.