Every Heart Is A Package Tangled Up In Knots Someone Else Tied
Title: I'll Be Yours For A Song
Word Count: 3,388
Description: 'He just wanted to make sure that she got home safe, untouched by anyone except for maybe himself..'
^Does that look legit? I've been looking at other journals and they're all set up so organized and junk....why can't I be organized?
He doesn’t really understand why he’s even at the party. He guesses it’s just something that he feels like he has to do. It’s the last true high school party that he’ll ever go to, graduation is only a day away and he knows that he’ll never see any of these people again. Not that he’s going to go home and cry about that or anything. He can’t stand most to all of these people and he never really has. He just didn’t fit in, he hates to admit it because he doesn’t want to be that guy, but he could never shake the feeling that he was just better than everyone else. Or at least that’s how he figures that he comes off to people. He’s always been a little standoffish and wary of people, he doesn’t know why but he does know that it’s probably too late to change it. People’s minds are already made up about him and he couldn’t care less about giving them a different impression to leave with.
He gets himself a drink and leans back on the counter in the kitchen to survey his classmates one last time in a strictly social setting. He almost laughs at them all. It’s all so stereotypical. Football players on the couches surrounded by cheerleaders who, even if they don’t want to recognize it are about to be ex football players and ex cheerleaders and will be knocked down to the same level as everyone else as soon as they’re handed their diploma. A few loners crowd around the stairs and the art and theater kids hang around the doorway to the kitchen talking about things that would fly over his head. It stings a little bit that he never managed to fit in with any crowd, even the stoner, guitar players that are sitting on the deck outside softly playing. He’s a little bit over all of it though and as much as not having any real friends bums him out the new opportunities that will arise by graduating and leaving this town make him excited and he chooses not to dwell on the bad.
He rolls his eyes when the next batch of kids comes into the kitchen, led by Riley Parker, one of the more infamous girls at the school. He doesn’t have any firsthand knowledge of this but apparently a lot of the guys do. She’s supposed to be real easy and willing and from the details he’s heard, overheard, incredibly capable at it all. The stories about her could go on for days and honestly, some of them even make him blush and he’s sure as hell no prude. He’s always been fascinated by her. He’s known her since 7th grade and had countless classes with her, lunch periods and study halls; he’s even sat at the same table with her in the library one time because all the other tables were taken. But he’s never spoken to her and she’s never spoken to him. She’s not shy or anything, she’s controlling every boy in the room just by the graceful way that she holds her red plastic cup in her hand, flirting and laughing; so there is no real excuse except for his own closed off nature. If he wanted her, if he really showed off that he wanted her, because who wouldn’t want her? She’s gorgeous and perfect. Youthful but mature and funny and good. If he had made any kind of connection with her, hell, if he had even made eye contact with her she’s probably would’ve gotten with him.
But now he has to watch her with all these other guys, practically begging her for one last go before graduation and she takes off for college to find a whole new batch of guys to sleep with. He finds that the most depressing thought of all. That her high school reputation will probably be the only one to stick while everyone else’s will ware off and they’ll develop a new legacy.
One of the guys has his arm around her shoulder and another has his hand on her wrist trying to keep her attention and if Lee looks really closely he can see her eyes dart around the room uncomfortably looking for a way out but he figures that she’s totally used to this kind of situation and can easily navigate her way out of it so he doesn’t see any point in sticking around and torturing himself. He pushes himself off the counter and starts to wander back through the party desperate to look at anything but guys throwing themselves at her.
Ten minutes later he’s back in the kitchen, fed up with the rest of the party and looking for a safe haven somewhere, the kitchen, even with Riley and the guys was the least annoying room in the place. When he turns the corner into the kitchen he finds it empty, Riley is nowhere to be seen and her not being there with all the guys is almost worse than watching her. She’s who knows where doing who knows what with anyone of them. It kind of makes his stomach churn, his bad night just got even worse and now he needs some air and the back deck is much closer than the front door so he pushes his way past some of his drunken classmates and pulls open the sliding glass doors.
The air is a little cooler outside; it seems a little cleaner even through the smoke that is coming from the guitar playing kids down the other edge of the deck who don’t lift their heads to acknowledge him, and the almost sweet smell of the smoke makes him crave it so he reaches into his jeans pocket for his cigarettes and lighter and takes a deep breath before exhaling slowly into the night.
He runs his free hand through his hair and looks down the other, empty end of the deck and in the shadows he sees her.
Riley is sitting with her legs her crossed and her forehead against the wooden poles that are coming down from the ledge of the deck. Her plastic cup is next to her knee, her hand braced on it. He looks around for anyone that she could be waiting on but doesn’t see anyone and takes one more deep drag of his cigarette before he wanders over to her.
She turns her head when she sees his shadow cross over her and greets him with a half smile.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” He suddenly feels incredibly awkward with his cigarette and doesn’t know if he should just hold onto it and let it burn out or stub it out against the deck; which one would be cooler and which one would be more polite? “Are you alright?” He kicks at the wooden deck like a kid that’s getting impatient and decides to keep the cigarette in his hand to offset the immaturity.
She nods and looks him over for a few seconds, her eyes lingering on his hands then up his arms to his face. “I’m fine. You okay?”
“Yeah….I’m….” He sighs and laughs. “I’m great.”
She laughs. “You kind of hate it here don’t you?”
“Is it just obvious?”
“Just to those that are looking to see it.”
“No one really looks at me.”
She rolls her eyes and looks straight ahead again.
“What was that look for?’ He asks her and she laughs back over her shoulder at him.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that if you think that people don’t look at you then you have another thing coming. Girls talk just like guys do, Lee.”
He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that she knows his name, he just wasn’t expecting her to know him at all. But his interest is piqued by her words.
“Who’s looking at me?”
“I’m not here to stoke your ego.”
He has to press his lips together tight to keep himself from making some inappropriate and dirty comment at her expense. She’s just starting to talk to him; he doesn’t need to escalate her to the point where she would hit him.
“But there are girls looking at me?”
“Now you’re just being an ass.” She laughs at him as she reaches behind her and pulls on one of the white patio chairs, patting the seat. “Sit.” She orders him and he does what she says without a second thought. “Why don’t you just leave?”
“Because you just told me to sit down.”
“No.” She laughs and presses her head against the rails again before she looks back at him. “Why don’t you leave the party? Why didn’t you go before you came out here?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs and takes the last possible puff from the cigarette before putting it out in one of the almost empty cups that has been left on the table. “I just thought that maybe I should stick it out because this is the last chance for me to…..”
“Be horribly annoyed by high school students?” She finishes for him with a full smile and he laughs and smiles back.
“Yeah, something like that. What about you? Why are you hiding out here?”
“I’m not hiding?”
“You were sitting quietly in the dark.”
She shakes her head and shrugs. “I just needed to get away from it all for a little while.”
“You mean all the attention?”
“Yeah, they just follow me around.”
“I know they do.”
She twists her body to him fully now, her hair half shading her face. “Guys talk too.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I mean, I don’t think about you like they do, it’s not like that, I’m not talking to you know because of that.” He’s rambling and making everyone worse and he’s not ever sure that’s what she meant when she said that guys talk.
“Okay.” She says simply.
“I really didn’t mean anything; I don’t believe half of what is said anyways.”
“Okay, it’s okay.” She stands up suddenly and he panics because she’s about to leave, he talked too much and now she’s going to walk away from him and that will be the absolute end for him and her, over before they even started, not that he wants to or would start anything, he’s pretty sure that he doesn’t want that but he’s also pretty sure that the way that she’s looking now, dimly lit by the porch light and surrounded by thick humid air and the off notes being played by the kids outside mixing with the steady music coming from inside the house make her one of the most beautiful things that he’s ever seen.
“No, it’s not okay, you’re clearly not okay.” He grabs for her arm to stop her from walking away because he’s not done profusely apologizing for everything that he’s done, but she moves fast and his palm ends up against hers and her fingers just naturally fold around his hand. “I’m sorry.”
She stares down at their connected hands then up to his face and his sorry blue eyes and for the first time she feels her heart melt a little bit.
“It’s okay.” She says again but this time she really means it and moves back into the shadow trying to maneuver around the table so she can take a seat next to him in one of the empty chairs but she accidentally knocks her cup off the deck and the plastic rattles across the surface before it rolls and disappears onto the ground. “Dammit.” She mumbles under her breath as she watches it and Lee immediately stands up.
“Do you want another one? I can go get you one, it’s no problem.”
“No, don’t bother.” She tells him, putting one hand on his chest trying to get him to sit back down because it’s really not that big of a deal.
“No come on.” He just won’t take no for an answer from her and it’s starting to annoy him. “What did you have? Beer, vodka, what?”
“It was just water.” She says quietly but looks up at him. “It’s only ever water.”
He furrows his brows as he studies her face; she looks ashamed and embarrassed and he’s just about to ask her what’s wrong, for what feels like the hundredth time when they’re interrupted by the glass door sliding open and Lee swings around to see who it is while Riley sinks back behind him to hide herself.
“Have you seen Riley?” The guy asks Lee and Lee nods and steps out of the way to reveal her and she gives him a dirty look and Lee feels like an idiot for not keeping her protected and not reading all the signs that she’s sending him. He mouths sorry to her as she steps around him to face the guy.
The guy’s eyes light up when he sees her and she gets this feeling of dread in her stomach because she knows what’s coming next.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks her, sounding like he just knows that she’ll say yes and Lee frowns deeply because given everything that he’s heard about her she’s probably not going to say no and he’ll really lose her. “We can go somewhere more private.”
Lee’s sure that his eyes roll on their own.
“Actually.” She says and both Lee’s and the guy’s eyebrows rise. “I actually don’t feel that great.”
“Well I can take you home.” Even that is laden with innuendo and Riley leans into Lee’s side and she grabs his arm.
“Lee offered and he’s right by my house so….” She trails off and shrugs and Lee has to play along and nods. “Plus I don’t want to tear you away from the party.” She tugs on his arm and starts to walk them down the deck and onto the steps leading down to the backyard. “I’ll talk to you some other time okay?” She calls out but she turns the corner with Lee in tow before the guy can say anything back. “I’m so sorry.” She whispers to him and drops his arm. “I didn’t mean to do that, I know that you don’t care about the party but you really don’t have to take me home, I can walk.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’d rather you be with me anyways.” He says and he can immediately feels himself start to blush because that might have been too much too say and she smiles shyly at him noticing the color that’s spreading over his cheeks.
“I just can’t deal with that tonight.” She sighs and leans against him again and stays that way until he gets to his car and opens the door for her. She starts to get in and then stops halfway through and touches his chest and he worries that she can feel his heartbeat. “I don’t know where you live, I have no idea if you live anywhere near me, and I can really walk if you want me to.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Just get in the car Riley.”
She smiles back at him and lowers herself into the seat.
She tells him her address and thankfully it’s not too far from his place so she doesn’t feel that guilty.
The car ride is silent and only a little bit awkward. He drives so carefully, watching the speedometer to make sure that he doesn’t go one mile over the limit and makes sure to stop completely at every stop sign. Nothing bad is going to happen to her.
She seems to relax in the passenger seat, her head back against the rest and she stares calmly out the window watching their small town roll by.
When he pulls into her driveway she eyes the dark house but doesn’t get out. Instead she nervously plays with the hem of her shirt and squirms in her seat.
“You okay?” He asks her and she looks over at him.
“Can I tell you something?”
He nods and she takes a deep breath and then turns in the seat to face him.
“Everything that you’ve heard about me isn’t true. None of it is.”
He looks back at her, not sure what to say. “I….”
“I haven’t done anything with those guys. I haven’t ever even….” She stops and looks at him uncomfortably, almost begging him to understand what she’s saying so she doesn’t have to actually say it.
“Oh. Oh.” It finally sets in and she ducks her chin into her chest to avoid his eyes because that’s truly embarrassing. “Well that’s not a big deal. Hey.” He reaches out to touch her shoulder. “That’s okay.”
“Not when everyone thinks that you’re a slut.”
“No one thinks that.”
She tilts her head to the side, clearly not believing him.
“Not everyone thinks that.”
“Just most of them.”
“I don’t.” He says that like it’s supposed to mean something to her.
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t think that now but you used to.”
He can’t really fight her on that. “Why don’t you tell people the truth?”
“Because who is going to believe me? You can’t change a reputation.”
“You can’t if you don’t try.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“How did it even start?”
“I don’t know, I was a freshman and this senior guy tried something with me and I said no and he didn’t like that so he told everyone that he slept with me and that kind of spiraled out of control and every time I said no guys would just say that they did because they didn’t want to be the one guy that I would say no to. So I became the school skank. It would probably be funny if it was happening to someone else. Like I would laugh at that girl because it’s like, what the hell is wrong with her; why can’t she just speak up and tell people the truth? It’s so stupid.” Her voice cracks at the end and he undoes his seatbelt so he can easily lean over the center console and pulls her into a hug, her head cradled against his chest and she lets herself be held by him for a moment before she pulls away. “Everyone is going to think that we did it.”
“I won’t say anything.” He assures her and she bites her lip.
“Y’know, out of all the guys that I’ve rumored to have been with, you’re really the only one that I wouldn’t mind actually being with.”
He sits back in his seat trying to process what she just said.
“I probably shouldn’t have said that.” She admits quietly and he shakes his head.
“It’s fine. I just had no idea that you noticed me.”
“I was one of those girls that were looking at you.”
“I didn’t think that you would ever go for me.”
“You should’ve said something.” She shoves his shoulder and then sits back.
“You should have.”
“I just did.” She laughs and looks at him softly. “Is it too late?”
He takes a sharp breath in as he looks over at her, leaning against the door of his car she looks so small and vulnerable, an innocent victim of a vicious high school rumor mill and he wonders if she’s ever been kissed by someone that actually liked her and only wanted just a kiss.
They lock eyes and she leans into him and he meets her halfway, kissing her softly opening his mouth just slightly when she puts a hand lightly on the side of his face to deepen the kiss.
She breaks the kiss much too soon for his liking but he’s hesitant to pursue her, he doesn’t want to push her.
Her smile lights up the small car and he feels happier just to see it.
“I’ll see you around.” She tells him, as she pushes the car door open and steps out onto the driveway.
“Ummm…..yeah.” He struggles to speak and she bends down to give him one more smile through the open window before she skips up the rest of the driveway to her front door, looking at him once more over her shoulder before she slips into her house.
Word Count: 3,388
Description: 'He just wanted to make sure that she got home safe, untouched by anyone except for maybe himself..'
^Does that look legit? I've been looking at other journals and they're all set up so organized and junk....why can't I be organized?
He doesn’t really understand why he’s even at the party. He guesses it’s just something that he feels like he has to do. It’s the last true high school party that he’ll ever go to, graduation is only a day away and he knows that he’ll never see any of these people again. Not that he’s going to go home and cry about that or anything. He can’t stand most to all of these people and he never really has. He just didn’t fit in, he hates to admit it because he doesn’t want to be that guy, but he could never shake the feeling that he was just better than everyone else. Or at least that’s how he figures that he comes off to people. He’s always been a little standoffish and wary of people, he doesn’t know why but he does know that it’s probably too late to change it. People’s minds are already made up about him and he couldn’t care less about giving them a different impression to leave with.
He gets himself a drink and leans back on the counter in the kitchen to survey his classmates one last time in a strictly social setting. He almost laughs at them all. It’s all so stereotypical. Football players on the couches surrounded by cheerleaders who, even if they don’t want to recognize it are about to be ex football players and ex cheerleaders and will be knocked down to the same level as everyone else as soon as they’re handed their diploma. A few loners crowd around the stairs and the art and theater kids hang around the doorway to the kitchen talking about things that would fly over his head. It stings a little bit that he never managed to fit in with any crowd, even the stoner, guitar players that are sitting on the deck outside softly playing. He’s a little bit over all of it though and as much as not having any real friends bums him out the new opportunities that will arise by graduating and leaving this town make him excited and he chooses not to dwell on the bad.
He rolls his eyes when the next batch of kids comes into the kitchen, led by Riley Parker, one of the more infamous girls at the school. He doesn’t have any firsthand knowledge of this but apparently a lot of the guys do. She’s supposed to be real easy and willing and from the details he’s heard, overheard, incredibly capable at it all. The stories about her could go on for days and honestly, some of them even make him blush and he’s sure as hell no prude. He’s always been fascinated by her. He’s known her since 7th grade and had countless classes with her, lunch periods and study halls; he’s even sat at the same table with her in the library one time because all the other tables were taken. But he’s never spoken to her and she’s never spoken to him. She’s not shy or anything, she’s controlling every boy in the room just by the graceful way that she holds her red plastic cup in her hand, flirting and laughing; so there is no real excuse except for his own closed off nature. If he wanted her, if he really showed off that he wanted her, because who wouldn’t want her? She’s gorgeous and perfect. Youthful but mature and funny and good. If he had made any kind of connection with her, hell, if he had even made eye contact with her she’s probably would’ve gotten with him.
But now he has to watch her with all these other guys, practically begging her for one last go before graduation and she takes off for college to find a whole new batch of guys to sleep with. He finds that the most depressing thought of all. That her high school reputation will probably be the only one to stick while everyone else’s will ware off and they’ll develop a new legacy.
One of the guys has his arm around her shoulder and another has his hand on her wrist trying to keep her attention and if Lee looks really closely he can see her eyes dart around the room uncomfortably looking for a way out but he figures that she’s totally used to this kind of situation and can easily navigate her way out of it so he doesn’t see any point in sticking around and torturing himself. He pushes himself off the counter and starts to wander back through the party desperate to look at anything but guys throwing themselves at her.
Ten minutes later he’s back in the kitchen, fed up with the rest of the party and looking for a safe haven somewhere, the kitchen, even with Riley and the guys was the least annoying room in the place. When he turns the corner into the kitchen he finds it empty, Riley is nowhere to be seen and her not being there with all the guys is almost worse than watching her. She’s who knows where doing who knows what with anyone of them. It kind of makes his stomach churn, his bad night just got even worse and now he needs some air and the back deck is much closer than the front door so he pushes his way past some of his drunken classmates and pulls open the sliding glass doors.
The air is a little cooler outside; it seems a little cleaner even through the smoke that is coming from the guitar playing kids down the other edge of the deck who don’t lift their heads to acknowledge him, and the almost sweet smell of the smoke makes him crave it so he reaches into his jeans pocket for his cigarettes and lighter and takes a deep breath before exhaling slowly into the night.
He runs his free hand through his hair and looks down the other, empty end of the deck and in the shadows he sees her.
Riley is sitting with her legs her crossed and her forehead against the wooden poles that are coming down from the ledge of the deck. Her plastic cup is next to her knee, her hand braced on it. He looks around for anyone that she could be waiting on but doesn’t see anyone and takes one more deep drag of his cigarette before he wanders over to her.
She turns her head when she sees his shadow cross over her and greets him with a half smile.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” He suddenly feels incredibly awkward with his cigarette and doesn’t know if he should just hold onto it and let it burn out or stub it out against the deck; which one would be cooler and which one would be more polite? “Are you alright?” He kicks at the wooden deck like a kid that’s getting impatient and decides to keep the cigarette in his hand to offset the immaturity.
She nods and looks him over for a few seconds, her eyes lingering on his hands then up his arms to his face. “I’m fine. You okay?”
“Yeah….I’m….” He sighs and laughs. “I’m great.”
She laughs. “You kind of hate it here don’t you?”
“Is it just obvious?”
“Just to those that are looking to see it.”
“No one really looks at me.”
She rolls her eyes and looks straight ahead again.
“What was that look for?’ He asks her and she laughs back over her shoulder at him.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that if you think that people don’t look at you then you have another thing coming. Girls talk just like guys do, Lee.”
He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that she knows his name, he just wasn’t expecting her to know him at all. But his interest is piqued by her words.
“Who’s looking at me?”
“I’m not here to stoke your ego.”
He has to press his lips together tight to keep himself from making some inappropriate and dirty comment at her expense. She’s just starting to talk to him; he doesn’t need to escalate her to the point where she would hit him.
“But there are girls looking at me?”
“Now you’re just being an ass.” She laughs at him as she reaches behind her and pulls on one of the white patio chairs, patting the seat. “Sit.” She orders him and he does what she says without a second thought. “Why don’t you just leave?”
“Because you just told me to sit down.”
“No.” She laughs and presses her head against the rails again before she looks back at him. “Why don’t you leave the party? Why didn’t you go before you came out here?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs and takes the last possible puff from the cigarette before putting it out in one of the almost empty cups that has been left on the table. “I just thought that maybe I should stick it out because this is the last chance for me to…..”
“Be horribly annoyed by high school students?” She finishes for him with a full smile and he laughs and smiles back.
“Yeah, something like that. What about you? Why are you hiding out here?”
“I’m not hiding?”
“You were sitting quietly in the dark.”
She shakes her head and shrugs. “I just needed to get away from it all for a little while.”
“You mean all the attention?”
“Yeah, they just follow me around.”
“I know they do.”
She twists her body to him fully now, her hair half shading her face. “Guys talk too.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I mean, I don’t think about you like they do, it’s not like that, I’m not talking to you know because of that.” He’s rambling and making everyone worse and he’s not ever sure that’s what she meant when she said that guys talk.
“Okay.” She says simply.
“I really didn’t mean anything; I don’t believe half of what is said anyways.”
“Okay, it’s okay.” She stands up suddenly and he panics because she’s about to leave, he talked too much and now she’s going to walk away from him and that will be the absolute end for him and her, over before they even started, not that he wants to or would start anything, he’s pretty sure that he doesn’t want that but he’s also pretty sure that the way that she’s looking now, dimly lit by the porch light and surrounded by thick humid air and the off notes being played by the kids outside mixing with the steady music coming from inside the house make her one of the most beautiful things that he’s ever seen.
“No, it’s not okay, you’re clearly not okay.” He grabs for her arm to stop her from walking away because he’s not done profusely apologizing for everything that he’s done, but she moves fast and his palm ends up against hers and her fingers just naturally fold around his hand. “I’m sorry.”
She stares down at their connected hands then up to his face and his sorry blue eyes and for the first time she feels her heart melt a little bit.
“It’s okay.” She says again but this time she really means it and moves back into the shadow trying to maneuver around the table so she can take a seat next to him in one of the empty chairs but she accidentally knocks her cup off the deck and the plastic rattles across the surface before it rolls and disappears onto the ground. “Dammit.” She mumbles under her breath as she watches it and Lee immediately stands up.
“Do you want another one? I can go get you one, it’s no problem.”
“No, don’t bother.” She tells him, putting one hand on his chest trying to get him to sit back down because it’s really not that big of a deal.
“No come on.” He just won’t take no for an answer from her and it’s starting to annoy him. “What did you have? Beer, vodka, what?”
“It was just water.” She says quietly but looks up at him. “It’s only ever water.”
He furrows his brows as he studies her face; she looks ashamed and embarrassed and he’s just about to ask her what’s wrong, for what feels like the hundredth time when they’re interrupted by the glass door sliding open and Lee swings around to see who it is while Riley sinks back behind him to hide herself.
“Have you seen Riley?” The guy asks Lee and Lee nods and steps out of the way to reveal her and she gives him a dirty look and Lee feels like an idiot for not keeping her protected and not reading all the signs that she’s sending him. He mouths sorry to her as she steps around him to face the guy.
The guy’s eyes light up when he sees her and she gets this feeling of dread in her stomach because she knows what’s coming next.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks her, sounding like he just knows that she’ll say yes and Lee frowns deeply because given everything that he’s heard about her she’s probably not going to say no and he’ll really lose her. “We can go somewhere more private.”
Lee’s sure that his eyes roll on their own.
“Actually.” She says and both Lee’s and the guy’s eyebrows rise. “I actually don’t feel that great.”
“Well I can take you home.” Even that is laden with innuendo and Riley leans into Lee’s side and she grabs his arm.
“Lee offered and he’s right by my house so….” She trails off and shrugs and Lee has to play along and nods. “Plus I don’t want to tear you away from the party.” She tugs on his arm and starts to walk them down the deck and onto the steps leading down to the backyard. “I’ll talk to you some other time okay?” She calls out but she turns the corner with Lee in tow before the guy can say anything back. “I’m so sorry.” She whispers to him and drops his arm. “I didn’t mean to do that, I know that you don’t care about the party but you really don’t have to take me home, I can walk.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’d rather you be with me anyways.” He says and he can immediately feels himself start to blush because that might have been too much too say and she smiles shyly at him noticing the color that’s spreading over his cheeks.
“I just can’t deal with that tonight.” She sighs and leans against him again and stays that way until he gets to his car and opens the door for her. She starts to get in and then stops halfway through and touches his chest and he worries that she can feel his heartbeat. “I don’t know where you live, I have no idea if you live anywhere near me, and I can really walk if you want me to.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Just get in the car Riley.”
She smiles back at him and lowers herself into the seat.
She tells him her address and thankfully it’s not too far from his place so she doesn’t feel that guilty.
The car ride is silent and only a little bit awkward. He drives so carefully, watching the speedometer to make sure that he doesn’t go one mile over the limit and makes sure to stop completely at every stop sign. Nothing bad is going to happen to her.
She seems to relax in the passenger seat, her head back against the rest and she stares calmly out the window watching their small town roll by.
When he pulls into her driveway she eyes the dark house but doesn’t get out. Instead she nervously plays with the hem of her shirt and squirms in her seat.
“You okay?” He asks her and she looks over at him.
“Can I tell you something?”
He nods and she takes a deep breath and then turns in the seat to face him.
“Everything that you’ve heard about me isn’t true. None of it is.”
He looks back at her, not sure what to say. “I….”
“I haven’t done anything with those guys. I haven’t ever even….” She stops and looks at him uncomfortably, almost begging him to understand what she’s saying so she doesn’t have to actually say it.
“Oh. Oh.” It finally sets in and she ducks her chin into her chest to avoid his eyes because that’s truly embarrassing. “Well that’s not a big deal. Hey.” He reaches out to touch her shoulder. “That’s okay.”
“Not when everyone thinks that you’re a slut.”
“No one thinks that.”
She tilts her head to the side, clearly not believing him.
“Not everyone thinks that.”
“Just most of them.”
“I don’t.” He says that like it’s supposed to mean something to her.
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t think that now but you used to.”
He can’t really fight her on that. “Why don’t you tell people the truth?”
“Because who is going to believe me? You can’t change a reputation.”
“You can’t if you don’t try.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“How did it even start?”
“I don’t know, I was a freshman and this senior guy tried something with me and I said no and he didn’t like that so he told everyone that he slept with me and that kind of spiraled out of control and every time I said no guys would just say that they did because they didn’t want to be the one guy that I would say no to. So I became the school skank. It would probably be funny if it was happening to someone else. Like I would laugh at that girl because it’s like, what the hell is wrong with her; why can’t she just speak up and tell people the truth? It’s so stupid.” Her voice cracks at the end and he undoes his seatbelt so he can easily lean over the center console and pulls her into a hug, her head cradled against his chest and she lets herself be held by him for a moment before she pulls away. “Everyone is going to think that we did it.”
“I won’t say anything.” He assures her and she bites her lip.
“Y’know, out of all the guys that I’ve rumored to have been with, you’re really the only one that I wouldn’t mind actually being with.”
He sits back in his seat trying to process what she just said.
“I probably shouldn’t have said that.” She admits quietly and he shakes his head.
“It’s fine. I just had no idea that you noticed me.”
“I was one of those girls that were looking at you.”
“I didn’t think that you would ever go for me.”
“You should’ve said something.” She shoves his shoulder and then sits back.
“You should have.”
“I just did.” She laughs and looks at him softly. “Is it too late?”
He takes a sharp breath in as he looks over at her, leaning against the door of his car she looks so small and vulnerable, an innocent victim of a vicious high school rumor mill and he wonders if she’s ever been kissed by someone that actually liked her and only wanted just a kiss.
They lock eyes and she leans into him and he meets her halfway, kissing her softly opening his mouth just slightly when she puts a hand lightly on the side of his face to deepen the kiss.
She breaks the kiss much too soon for his liking but he’s hesitant to pursue her, he doesn’t want to push her.
Her smile lights up the small car and he feels happier just to see it.
“I’ll see you around.” She tells him, as she pushes the car door open and steps out onto the driveway.
“Ummm…..yeah.” He struggles to speak and she bends down to give him one more smile through the open window before she skips up the rest of the driveway to her front door, looking at him once more over her shoulder before she slips into her house.