Lifes Gotten Simple Since And It Fluctuates So Much, Happy And Sad And Back Again
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Chapter 10/11
The next month for them is a pleasurable hell for the both of them.
They’re together every night and even though the feelings have changed, it feels like the way that it used to be. They know each other’s bodies so well, well enough to know what feels good at what moment and they fit together like they’re supposed to be together.
But then that will stop and he’ll say something stupid that will piss her off and she’ll ignore him for a day and a half and to get back at her he’ll flirt with some random chick at the place that they’re playing and she’ll get mad and end up cornering him somewhere backstage right before he’s ready to go on and kissing him like crazy so she’s the only possible thing on his mind.
It’s not healthy in anyway but it keeps happening. Over and over again, night after night, day after day. She lets herself get stuck in that cycle and she can’t break it because she’s not as brave as she thought that she was. She thought that she was the kind of girl that wouldn’t let a man pull her around and tug at her heart until all that she was left with at the end of the day was a dull ache and a warm body with his back to her lying next to her.
She hates the way they are and the way that they used to be because it’s a painful reminder of how much they lost in such a short time.
They don’t talk about what they’re doing, not with each other or with anyone else, even though Tanya begs for details and Seth and Tanner still try to set him up because they won’t accept that he’s back with Olivia without him saying it. And even if they did want to talk about it it’s not like they could explain it. They’re not dating; they don’t love each other, even though she still sometimes feels like she could. They can’t say that they’re friends with benefits because they’re not friends, they’re barely even acquaintances anymore since the only words that they speak to each other are while they’re in bed, which definitely does not count. It’s like they’re having a one night stand with each other every night.
He’ll swear up and down that it isn’t true, but he secretly wishes that they could be more. It was so good when they were together before they went on tour and fell apart. It was just easier then and he wishes that for once in his life things could just come easy for him. He wouldn’t have to fight to get what he wanted and he could come home to her every night and sleep with her with his arm around her waist instead of tucked under his head lying on the edge of the bed so he doesn’t touch her after they have sex. It would be nice but he knows the reality of life and it’s not always the nice things that happen. More often than not he knows he’s going to get screwed over and will probably end up alone. If he wants to fix it, or work on fixing it he only has about a week left. There are only two more shows left, five more nights out on the road together and then it’s back to Chicago for him and she’s going to be…..somewhere. He doesn’t even know where she’s headed; he would if he actually talked to her. He doesn’t even know if she’s still interested in singing anymore or if this tour and all the drama that came with it with him have ruined it all for her. She could go back home and live out her life without ever seeing him again and he doesn’t want that. All he wants is to have her back with him he just can’t say those words. He’s buried himself into the lie and he can’t seem to claw his way out of it.
During that last week he tries to articulate some kind of thought to get her to stay with him but nothing ever comes out.
It takes him getting drunk the last night of the tour for anything to be said, which is the worst time to say anything.
They’re fooling around in her hotel room; she’s straddling his lap and his hands are inching up her back underneath her t-shirt and her lips moving across his neck.
He closes his eyes and sighs. “Let’s not stop.” He mumbles drunkenly and pulls on her shirt.
“I’m not stopping.”
“No.” He leans away from her and she looks at him confused. “Let’s never stop doing this. I don’t want you to leave me when this is done.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Not to the point where I don’t mean this.”
“Just drunk enough to have the courage to say this?”
“Yes.”
She leans back and puts her hands on his shoulders like she’s trying to determine how drunk he is. Apparently it’s too drunk for her and she slides off his lap and just as her feet hit the floor his hands are tight on her waist.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving. I’m not doing this again.”
“Doing what?”
“Listening to you tell me that you want me so you can have sex with me.”
“It’s not like that.”
“It absolutely is like that.”
“No, it’s not; you think you know me now?”
“I do know you, you stupid asshole. You act like I didn’t date you for two years. I’m not some stupid groupie that followed you around the country. Do you know who you are anymore?”
“Don’t be like that, I haven’t changed.”
“Yes you have. I’d still be with you if you hadn’t of changed. Something is wrong Lee and I sincerely don’t think that it’s me.”
“I don’t think that it’s you either. Can’t we go back?” He holds her tighter as she tries to move out of his grasp. “Why can’t we do that?”
“Because we don’t work anymore. We grew up, maybe you outgrew me.”
“I did not.”
“Then something else happened. I don’t want to stand here and discuss it with you because that hurts too much. I want to forget about everything that we used to be.”
His shoulders slump. “Don’t say that. I love you.”
“Don’t tell me that you love me when you’re drunk and then refuse to look at me when you’re sober.” She tells him with her hand on her hip and her shoe halfway on her foot. “Go find someone else Lee. There’s got to be someone out there for you.”
“I want you.”
“You don’t. You want this girl that you turned me into or I let you turn me into. I have to get back to who I was. I’m not meant for this.”
“So you’re just giving up?”
“We both gave up a long time ago Lee, I’m just admitting it first.”
He stares down at his hands. “Fine. Just go.
“I…..” Wish I still loved you…….she doesn’t know what to say. “I guess good luck with everything. I really hope that it all works out for you, I have a good feeling that it will.”
He doesn’t say anything back and she sighs in disappointment that she didn’t at least get a goodbye, even if it was drunken and more than likely insincere.
“Okay then. Good luck Lee.” She pauses and gives him one more chance but he doesn’t look up from his hands and she knows that this is really the last goodbye for the two of them.
When they get back to Chicago she goes back to living with Aubrey and he’s still living on his own in that small apartment, waiting for a producer to call him to tell him that he’s signed and can come out to California or move into a nice place and a new phase of his life can begin. He’s being held back by the memory of her. There are still small things that she left behind in her rush to get out of the apartment that night. There’s a hair elastic on the bathroom sink and her flower key chain which is attached to her key to the apartment that’s hanging on the hook near the door. He can’t bring himself to move them, he can’t even touch them. He just stares at the elastic while he brushes his teeth and at the key chain when he’s eating breakfast in the morning at the kitchen table or drinking his coffee slowly as he leans up against the counter. He’s not even trying to find someone new. When he plays out in bars he only does that. He doesn’t even look up at the crowd to scan the room for potential prospects or hang around afterwards and have a beer. It’s all very sad and depressed artist of him but he doesn’t care about that. He barely cares about anything except for what Olivia is doing at the moment and if she’s thinking about him as much as he’s thinking about her.
She’s not. A month after coming back from the tour she meets William. She bumps into him, literally, in the grocery store. She’s not paying attention to the rest of the world as she digs through her wallet for a coupon for the toothpaste that she’s buying and turns the corner at the end of the aisle and slams right into William’s chest causing the basket full of groceries that he was holding to fall to the floor.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She throws her wallet into her bag and bends down to help him gather up all his things. “I’m so stupid, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and it’s totally my fault.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He says. “I wasn’t really looking either.” He reaches for a bottle of generic shampoo at the same time that she does and their hands touch, causing them both to stop breathing and look up at each other, just like a movie. His eyes are bright blue and his skin is deeply tanned from the warm summer months and his dark hair is slightly curly and styled impeccable, offset by the clothes that he’s wearing, worn ripped up jeans and a faded gray t-shirt that looks impossible warm and soft. He looks enough like Lee to make her feel safe but not enough like him to make her get pissed.
She pulls her hand back with a shy smile as they both stand up. “I’m still sorry.”
He smiles easily, crooked, like Lee’s smile and her heart flutters. “I’m William.”
She laughs like a school girl but she can’t stop it from happening. “I’m Olivia.”
“That’s pretty.”
She bites her lip.
“I hope I’ll bump into you again sometime.” He says flirtatiously as he walks off and her smile drops from her face.
Was that it?
But, she doesn’t have to wait very long to see him again. After ten more minutes of wandering around the store looking for what she needs she’s all set and needs to get in line, arriving at the end of it at the exact moment that William is.
“I think this is a sign.” He tells her as he puts his hands out so she can get into the line ahead of him.
“A sign for what?”
“That we should probably go out sometime. I mean, running into each other twice in a ten minute span. It’s like fate.”
“You have a pretty loose interpretation of fate don’t you?”
“I like it to work in my favor.” He says smoothly and she can feel her face flush. “So what do you say?”
She knows that she wants to see him again and offers up her number. They went out together that night and two months later they’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend, in love, and she’s moving out of Aubrey’s apartment and into Williams.
They’re not moving too fast because it feels so right, the kind of right that she’s only felt once before, while she was with Lee and maybe a small part of her is chasing the feeling wildly again but a bigger part of her can clearly see the difference between the two men.
William is so much more dependable. Lee never really let her down while they were together, but deep inside she always felt like there was a chance that he could. Lee was waiting for a phone call or business card to get passed to him at a grungy bar to get his life started, not to discredit him at all, he’s worked hard just to get where he is but it’s an unstable life, what if the call never comes? She never feels like William will disappoint her. He’s got a steady job as a third grade school teacher, which he loves, and he’s always there for her no matter what. He loves her and she loves him back and that’s more than she can ever say for her and Lee again.
She feels like she’s constantly on the lookout for Lee. The city is only so big and she knows she’s bound to run into him at some point and since she and William spend a lot of their time together when they’re out Lee will probably see him and he’ll probably be drunk and William isn’t the most confrontational person in the world and it’s all going to blow up in everyone’s face when Lee will try to pick of fight with him.
It’s stressful and the whole buzz of the city is starting to eat at her. She came here for Lee and she’s not sure why she’s still here. It’s not home anymore without him in her life, just another reminder of the way that things used to be and she hates living in the past like that. Hates it enough that she’s seriously considering uprooting her life once again to head back home to Alabama. She misses the slowness of it and the distance that living there will put between her and Lee. And she really needs distance. She’s got the emotional distance down and all that’s left is the physical.
It keeps her up at night which keeps William up at night because he’s perceptive enough to know when something is bothering her.
She curls the sheet in her hand and holds it tight while she thinks about the best way to break it to him that she wants to go.
“Hey.” His soft whisper breaks her from her thoughts and she turns her head to look at him. He’s lying on his side facing her with sleepy, hooded eyes as he brushes the back of his finger against the skin on her arm. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’m not tired.”
“Come on. I know when you’re not telling me the truth.”
She sighs deeply and turns on her side to face him. “I wanna go back home.”
His eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean? Back home, home?”
“Yeah.” This is already starting to go downhill based on his tone alone.
“Why? I didn’t think you talked to anyone down there.”
“I don’t but I don’t really talk to anyone up here either. I came here to find myself, not to get all psychological on you or whatever but I don’t think that I did. I think I probably lost myself and I think I need to go home.”
“Well…..” He leans up on his elbow and runs his fingers over his eyebrow. “What do I do about that? Do I come with you?”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Sure you can.”
“That would be selfish of me.”
“Then be selfish. You deserve to be, if you’re not happy here and you want to go back home and you want me to go with you then I will go with you.”
“Your home is here.”
“Home is only where you make it. I want it to be with you.”
She said some variation of that to Lee or he said it to her at some point, the details of their relationship are starting to get blurry but something was said. She thought her home would be with Lee and now she’s lying in bed with a completely different man who’s willing to give her a second chance at it.
“Look at what you’re giving up.”
“But look at what I’m gaining.”
She smiles and puts her hand on the side of his face gently. “You’d really do this for me?”
“I’d pack up tonight and we could take off tomorrow.”
“I love you.”
“Marry me.”
The exchange happens so fast that she’s not sure that she heard it correctly and she sits up in bed and turns on the bedside light.
“What?”
“I just asked you to marry me.”
“Why would you do that?”
He laughs softly and sits up with her, kissing her lips and then sitting back. “Because I want to marry you.”
“But why?”
“Because I love you.”
“I don’t want you to say that just because I’m taking you away from here, like you feel like you have to.”
“I don’t feel like you have to, and don’t feel like you have to say yes either, I just asked, it’s totally up to you, you don’t even have to answer tonight, think it over, sleep on it, let me know when you have an answer, seriously, no rush.”
She knows he’s a little flustered because he never creates a run on sentence like that when he’s calm.
“Just let me know Olivia.” He pulls the blankets over his shoulder and rolls to his other side and she tugs on his shoulder to turn him back around.
“I’ll say yes now.”
He stares at her. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. And not just because you’re coming with me, I love you and I want to marry you.”
He kisses her again but this time it’s longer than for just a moment and just like that she’s engaged and moving away with him.
Lee finds out by accident. Somewhere in the grapevine of people that she knows and hangs out with now the news eventually works its way back to Tanner, who is still very close to Lee, so he calls Lee as soon as he hears about it.
Lee’s getting ready to go play a show in some dingy bar downtown when his phone rings and he groans as he picks it up.
“What is it?”
“I got some bad news man.”
“What Tanner, I’m not really in the mood for this so if it’s not something serious I’m going to hang up right now.”
“It’s pretty serious.”
Lee sits down on the edge of the couch and repositions the phone next to his ear. “What is it?”
“It’s about Olivia.”
“Is she okay?” There’s clear panic in his voice and Tanner jumps at the chance to calm him down.
“Yes, she’s totally fine, she’s fine. It’s just that she’s moving back home.”
“To Alabama? Why the hell would she do that?” He’s a little angry that she’s going back there. “There’s nothing down there for her.”
“She’s bringing someone with her.”
There’s a long pause on the line.
“Lee?”
“Who? I don’t……”
“Her fiancé.”
Another long pause but Tanner lets him have this one.
“I didn’t even know that she was seeing anyone.”
“Nobody did. She kind of cut herself out of everyone’s lives, I heard about it through a friend of a friend, by accident, it’s not like she’s out there parading it around or anything. From what I heard it happened last week and they’re looking for places to live now. I don’t even know if I was supposed to tell you this.” He waits for Lee to say something but he doesn’t. “I probably shouldn’t have right?”
“It’s fine. I’m glad that I know….I guess. How long has she been with this guy?”
“I don’t know exactly. Around four months.”
“And she’s already going to marry him? That’s fucking unbelievable.”
“I know it is but they seem happy. Would she marry someone if she didn’t love him?”
He closes his eyes to the idea of her being in love with another man. “I don’t know and I have to go, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Lee, wait….” But he’s already been hung up on.
Lee skips his own show; he goes to the bar but he doesn’t perform, he’s not in any condition to play. Even before he has a drink he feels drunk, shaky on his legs and not seeing or thinking clearly. His thoughts are consumed with her and this new guy, brand new guy, down in Alabama, where time stands still and she won’t have a chance to be anything other than a housewife. He knows that she should want more than that because she deserves more than that. He’s not going to force her into any kind of life but if she would just come back to him, he could show her that she’s worth more. His thinking about her gets more and more diluted with every beer that he drinks and three hours and countless drinks later he’s in the mindset that he still could have a shot with her if he could just get her in the same room as him. He’s not thinking straight enough to call her up so he puts some money down on the bar and stumbles out of the bar; only to get picked up by the cops for being drunk and disorderly in public and is promptly brought off to jail. Where he uses his one call for her.
Her phone rings in the middle of dinner at one of the fancier restaurants in the city. William’s and Olivia’s friends sprung for a huge going away party for the two of them there. They’re leaving in three days and she’s sitting down next to him with her head resting on his shoulder listening to one of his coworkers making a speech with his champagne glass raised in their direction. The beautiful and touching moment is disrupted by the shrill ringing and she apologizes quickly while looking through her bag and checking the caller ID on the phone. It’s a number that she doesn’t recognize but for some reason she feels like she has to pick it up immediately.
“Hello?” She whispers into the phone and her stomach drops when she hears Lee’s drunken phone on the other end and stands up, pulling the phone away from her ear and covering it with her hand. “I have to take this.”
“Is everything okay?” William asks her, his hand reaching for her side with concern etched into his face.
“Yes, everything is perfect, it’s just something about the house down in Alabama, I guess one of us didn’t sign something or whatever. It’s no big deal, I’ll be right back.” She turns on her heals before he can catch that she’s lying and makes a mad dash for the exit and the cool air that the sidewalk will offer.
“Olivia, Olivia, Olivia, ‘Liv.” He’s calling her name when she puts the phone back to her ear.
“What the hell is this Lee?”
“Oh thank god you’re there. I thought that I lost you, tell me that I haven’t lost you, I can’t live with loosing you.”
“I’m here.”
They both know it’s not in the way that he wants her to be.
“I have one small problem.”
“I think that you have more than that.” She tells him and he laughs, making her roll her eyes.
“You’re right, I have like, eight giant problems that will never be fixed but let’s start with this small one first, okay?”
“Where are you Lee? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine, I’m just a little drunk. And disorderly, that’s what the coppers told me anyways.”
She groans and winces. “You’re in jail.”
“Kind of.”
“That’s not a kind of situation; you’re in jail right now. There’s no other way to say that.”
“Then I’m in jail.”
She covers her forehead with her hand. “What…..what do you want me to do Lee?”
“I want you to come and get me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Because of your fiancé, would he not like it, are you really going to let a guy tell you what to do?”
“He knows nothing about you Lee.”
That’s more painful to hear that her saying that anything else.
“I can’t come and get you Lee.”
“I have no one else.”
“You have a lot of other friends. Call one of them, they will come and get you.”
“I don’t want them, I want you.”
She feels her willpower to fight against him starting to fade. “Please don’t make me do this.”
“Please do this for me. Just one last thing.” He’s pleading and there’s not a chance in hell that she’s going to be able to say no.
“Where are you?”
“Jail.”
“Lee.” She chokes back some anger. “Which one?”
“I don’t know. It’s a big brick building.”
“Can you just pass me to someone that knows what’s going on please?”
“But I like talking to you.”
“Lee, just fucking do it or I’m not coming to get you.”
He passes her along to an officer and he tells her with an annoyed voice where he is and Olivia hangs up with another groan and stamps her feet like a child before she heads back into the restaurant to lie to William again.
She tells him that she has to go down to the bank to sign something for the new house and thankfully he doesn’t question it and then she gets in a cab and heads for Lee.
The officer at the front desk looks like he’s had a long day and she approaches him with caution, like she’s going to get in trouble for Lee’s actions.
“You’re Olivia?” He asks her before she can even get to the desk which makes her stop in her tracks.
“How do you know?”
“We’ve all gotten the run down on you; we’ve heard everything about you. He must really love you.”
She stares blankly at him and shakes her head. “He doesn’t, he’s just drunk is all. And sad. He’ll snap out of it when the alcohol wares off. How bad is he anyways?”
“He’s pretty far gone but physically he’s okay. Doesn’t need to go to the hospital or anything. He just got a little rowdy out there and was in the wrong place at the wrong time and some of our guys had to pick him up. We’ll release him for a thousand.”
“Dollars? That’s a little extreme don’t you think? You know he only has like, two hundred dollars in the bank right?”
“Rules are rules. Sorry. You either pay or he sits in here for the night.”
She closes her eyes and tilts her head back. She’s so tempted to walk out of here without him.
“You guys only take cash right?” She hates that she’s doing this but has no other choice and she hates that too.
She has to make five separate transactions at the ATM down the block and worries about how she’s going to explain this money missing from her bank account it William should find out about it.
She hands over the money with a great amount of hesitation and the officer goes back to get Lee, who comes bursting through the door two minutes later and runs right into her, his arms wrapping around her hand his lips on her neck.
“I missed you so much.”
“Get off of me Lee.” She mumbles as she pushes him away and his lips pull into a deep frown.
“Why are you so mean to me?”
“Because you’re pissing me off, now shut up and don’t talk to me, just do what I say.” She pulls on his arm. “Now let’s go, I’m taking you home.”
He follows after her like a puppy out of the building and into a cab and they ride in silence to his place, the address that she still has memorized, she’ll never forget the places that she used to call home.
She has to help him out of the cab and impatiently digs through his pockets for his keys, then opens the door, takes his hand, drops the keys into it, and steps back.
“You’re all set. Have a nice life Lee.” She’s more pissed at him than she thought that she would be.
“You’re not going to take care of me?” He sounds like a child and she sighs.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Make sure that I’m okay.”
“I can’t do that. You know that I can’t.”
“Fine.” He sounds defeated as he stumbles into the apartment, leaving the door open and she feels like she could throw a fit at how frustrating he’s being. She can’t just leave him like this and follows him in.
He’s already in the kitchen, digging through the fridge and he stills when he hears her close the door.
“You couldn’t stay away could you?”
“Don’t get charming Lee, I’ll leave right now.”
“You could’ve left a long time ago ‘Liv.”
She’s walking into a trap and she knows it but she can’t stop her feet from moving, bringing her closer and closer to him and the brand new bottle of beer that he’s holding.
“When are you leaving by the way?”
“Saturday.” She says simply.
“Damn. You all packed up? I’m sorry, that’s a stupid question, of course you are, I’m sure you were all ready to leave as soon as you met the guy. Did you agree to marry him before you even slept with him? Move in with him before you even kissed.”
“Shut up Lee.”
“It just happened so fast, were you that hard up for a place to live? You know you could’ve come back here.”
“I would never do that and it’s got nothing to do with an apartment.”
“Is it a nice place? I bet it’s nicer than this. Is that why you left? Because I couldn’t give you a nice fucking place to live?” He raises his voice and swings the beer around and she flinches.
“You know that’s not why we didn’t work out?”
“Why didn’t we then?”
“I’m not talking about this again. I refuse to. It’s stupid and repetitive and I won’t do it.”
“I never wanted to break up in the first place ‘Liv, I love you so much I can’t even stand it and you just run off with this new guy.”
“You told me that we should break up, you agreed with me, you should’ve said something.”
“I’m saying something now.”
“It’s too late now.” She shouts back at them, she didn’t even know that they were yelling at each other until that point.
“Son of a bitch Olivia, I swear to god.” He paces the floor and she looks on with a sense of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach, she can feel that something is going to go wrong and it’s making her nervous. “All I did was love you that was all that I did, do you know what I gave up for you?”
“Do you know what I gave up for you? My parents won’t talk to me because I had to go and fall in love with you, you took me away from any family that I ever had, from the only home that I ever knew. I was so stupid; I let you talk me into leaving and loving you….”
“I talked you into loving me?”
“Yes, I was doing just fine before you came around Lee.”
“Oh yeah.” He laughs which infuriates her. “You were doing just great with that boyfriend of yours, he was a real catch.”
“I had things under control.” She grinds out. “Things were fine and you came around and fucked that all up.”
“I gave you the chance to have something more and this is the thanks that I get, you going off and getting engaged to someone else basically behind my back.” He snaps and throws the beer bottle down at the ground by the fridge, glass and beer spreading out from the wall towards the center of the floor and he covers his face in his hands and she bites her lip and shifts her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably to hold back the sadness that is growing inside of her.
She makes a step to the mess to clean it up for him but he sticks his arm out to stop her.
“Don’t, I don’t need your help.” He says roughly as he bends down to pick up the glass.
“Be careful.” Her voice is so weak and he shakes his head as she leans over him to make sure that he’s okay and he stand up abruptly and tosses the glass that is in his hands into the sink and puts his hands on her hips to back her against the counter.
“Don’t get in my way.”
She blinks at him and then slide up onto the counter so she’s fully out of his way but can still keep a watchful eye over him; it’s the only way that she feels like she’s useful.
He gets to the last few pieces of glass when he cuts himself, a sharp corner digging into his palm and he drops the glass with a hiss of pain and holds his hand close to his chest, cradled into the other one, blood pooling and dripping to the floor, mixing with the beer that’s still there and in that one moment she’s not squeamish at all and hops off the counter to help him but she’s met with the same resistance that she was met with before.
“I don’t need your help.” He says again as he turns on the water and sticks his hand under it, letting the blood wash down the drain and she feels a little light headed at the sight of it, her bravery disappearing with his cold attitude towards her.
She closes her eyes and rests her head against the cabinet and tries to think of why she’s still in his kitchen, sitting here, listening to the water run over his wound even though he’s been nothing but an ass to her all night.
The water stops and she dares to open an eye to peak out at him. He’s back on the ground trying to clean up as best as he can and there’s a towel pressed into his palm that’s starting to soak through red and she takes a deep breath before leaning back with her eyes closed again.
She jumps slightly when she feels his hand brush against her bare knee and her eyes snap open.
He’s still sitting on the floor, the towel tossed across the room by the fridge, trying to soak up as much beer as it can hold, the cut on his hand no longer bleeding and his thumb moving across her knee and she kicks herself for wearing a dress tonight because skin on skin like this is a lot to take.
“Lee.” She says softly, just breathing out his name, sounding a lot like she used to sound when he had her pressed into the mattress and he was telling her that he loved her as he kissed his way down her neck.
“Don’t marry him.” He tells her, mumbling into her skin as he kisses her knee, his lips burning and her breath hitches in the back of her throat, she won’t be able to say no to this.
“I am going to marry him.”
“Don’t say things like that.” There’s another kiss further up her thigh and her breathing gets ragged. “Don’t say that tonight; I don’t want to hear it.” He moves his lips up her legs and his hands moving further up than that until they reach her hips under her dress and he pulls her forward on the counter so that she’s closer to him and her head falls back and her hands grip the counter. “Does he kiss you like I used to kiss you?”
“Oh god.” She says under her breath as she finds the strength to stand up and move away from him and his hands hit his thighs in disappointment.
“I can’t do this Lee. I love him.”
“I don’t….”
“I know, I know you don’t want to hear it but it’s the truth, I’m not going to hurt him like this.”
He stands up unsteadily and she reaches out to make sure that he’s okay, which turns out to be a big mistake.
He holds onto her arms and pulls her closer to him, his lips crushing against hers and she struggles for a moment before she give in completely, maybe even more than he does. She tugs on his belt as he tries to lead her into the bedroom but it’s too far and she makes him turn onto the couch instead, pushing him down onto the couch and unzips her dress before moving back over him, his hands resting on her lower back as she frantically pulls on his belt with one hand and his shirt with the other.
“’Liv.” He gasps as she gets his jeans undone and her hand works its way into his boxers.
“Shut up, please shut up.” She says as she moves her hand and kisses his neck, moving to his lips to stop him from saying anything else. She doesn’t want him to talk or think about talking, that’s too much for her to deal with. She just wants to do this because she feels like she needs to. She can forget about William as long as she doesn’t hear his voice breaking through her thoughts.
She leans back and he leans up on his elbows and lips his hips up so she can move his jeans and boxers down his legs and get them on the floor and then rips his shirt off after that and he pulls her by the hips to get her to move across him making her moan into the crook of his neck as he then moves into her.
“I love you.” He tells her and she shakes her head and pretends not to hear it as she concentrates on how his body is moving against hers and where his hands are at that moment and where she needs them to go next.
He moves one last time and she feels her body contract against him, making her come hard with a moan into the still and silent apartment, lasting until he comes to, their breathing mixing together as she moves off of him and lies down beside him, his arm wrapping around her shoulders and places a kiss to her forehead.
“I love you.”He says again and she takes a breath and a moment to collect herself before she pulls herself over him and her feet hit the floor. “Hey.” He calls to her when he sees her start to get dressed.
“I love him.” She says with her back to him as she zips up her dress. “That hasn’t changed.”
“But tonight…..just now.”
“You’re drunk.”
“You had sex with me.”
“Let’s just call it even, okay?” She turns back to him and immediately has to look away when she sees the hurt in his eyes. “This is it Lee.”
“You gonna wish me luck again?”
“No. That doesn’t seem to be working. I’m just going to tell you goodbye.”
He shakes his head as she gets her shoes on and picks her bag up off the floor and walks towards the door. He hears her open it and get one foot out.
“I hope you have a happy life Olivia.” He says out loud and there’s a moment of silence before he hears the door close and she’s out of his life again.
This time for good.