To See Me Shut Down So Low, As Though It Was An Easy Thing To Do

Mar 07, 2011 15:37


Like that, only not in an elevator and different. Don't judge me. I'll just be standing in the corner hiding from the world. If I was more comfortable with the whole thing it would be better. Oh god. *facepalm*

Chapter 3/?

The first show is a little dicey. He sings Beast Of Burden, which to her, sounds like sex. But kind of weak sex. Like he's hesitant to sing it and be that way. It's not bad, but it's not as good as it could be. It could've been a lot rougher. She has to stop thinking about him in terms of sex. It's just a distraction and if she's going to go anywhere on this show she can't be thinking of him while she's trying to sing. But it's his fault. He doesn't have to be so stupidly and unassumingly sexy. He doesn't try at all. Him trying to be hot would be hilarious, but he's hilarious without trying to be too and she could try and talk herself out of liking him and unthinking what she's thinking and feeling but it's a waste of time. It's his voice and the way he holds his guitar and how he runs his hand through his hair when he's frustrated or stressed (he seems to be stressed out all the time which is frustration in it's own way) and the way he laughs, when she makes him laugh, and the way he listens, like what she says actually means something. Even though he explictily told her not to wish she was different she has to because she so wishes she could be the kind of girl that could allow him to be her everything.

She watches him backstage before the results show on Wednesday. He's pacing the floor but pretending that he's not. He doesn't want people to know that he's nervous but he's doing a terrible job at hiding it. She looks at him in the reflection of the make up mirror and when the make up artist steps away from her Lee rushes over.

"Can you believe this?" He asks her, his fingers nervously drumming against the arm of the folding chair.

"I know." She nods to all of the make up on the counter. "Look at all it takes to make me look pretty. My self esteem is taking a hit."

"That's not what i'm talking about."

"Then what's the matter?"

"One of us is going home." He says as he glances around the room.

"I know that. That's the point of this whole thing. Someone goes home every week until there's just one left."

"Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Why are you freaking out?"

"Because. What if it's me?"

"Shut up. It's not gonna be you. Hell, it's not ever going to be me. Would you look around." She lowers her voice. "There are like, six people that need to leave before you do."

"Still. What if something happens?"

"Oh god Lee." She laughs and rolls her head back. "You have nothing to worry about. You're hot and you play the guitar and you can actually sing. Instant win."

"Who do you think will go?"

In the end it's exactly who she thinks it'll be. Lacey goes and then the next week Paige then Didi and she rolls her eyes at the judges and producers push of it being a girls year. There are only three of them left and she sees Siobhan burning out soon and Katie's mind is getting fucked with by the judges and Harper hardly considers herself an American Idol so she knows for sure the producers don't want her winning and representing them.

Lee gets more confident each week and the judge's comments about him being scared or hesitant or shy start to lessen and he's poised to win. But he gets a little shaken when Mike, who's destined to go home, gets the judges save because that means that there's not safety net if anything should go wrong. Harper's not thrilled that Mike got saved. She thinks his voice is kind of boring and his personality is borderline douchey but Lee seems to like him and like a good girlfriend that tolerates her boyfriends annoying ass friends, she tolerates Mike and puts on a 'i'm not upset that you're still here, I don't wish that you, like American wanted you to, were gone now. I don't secretly worry that next week, when two people have to go home, that one of them will be me or, even worse, one of them will be Lee and if that happens i'll have to hunt you down and kick your ass because you overstayed your welcome and took my one true friend away from me' face as she sits at the restaurant at Mike's 'congratulations for steeling a spot in the competition' party.

Everyone looks so stressed out. Like they all want to be having fun, but they just can't bring themselves to be doing it. They're all leaning on the table with their shoulders slumped and their eyes half closed in sleep and boredom and the sad attitude that everyone has is really upsetting to her. They're all so young. They're in Hollywood and national TV show aside, they should be having so much fun. But now they're sitting in a restaurant where they're not ever allowed to drink looking defeated. She's not suggesting that the kids, Aaron, Katie, and even Siobhan, who dresses like a confused four year old tramp most of the time should go out and do anything but the rest of them should be doing something. At least once. She forms a rough idea about what she wants to do in her head and as the dinner draws to a close and everyone starts to gather up their jackets and Lee squeezes her knee to get her attention because she's not moving and she decides she has to get out then. She's the last one out onto the street and sees them all standing around waiting for the cars to come pick them up. She's hanging back and Lee turns to her and reaches out his hand to pull her up next to him and she shakes her head.

"No. Lets go."

"Go where?" He says with humor in his voice, like he's completely used to hearing her schemes.

"I don't know. I don't care." She has the attention of the whole group now and she spreads her attention to them. "Aren't you guys tired of doing nothing?"

"We just went out to eat."

She sighs at Tim's logic. She could care less if he went with her. "I'm not talking about that. We need to do something fun and reckless."

"We're not all like you. We can't just do stupid things at the drop of a hat. Plus, aren't we going to get in trouble?"

"That's half the fun." She stresses. "What are they going to do to us?"

"Kick us off." Lee says seriously and Harper frowns.

"Not if enough of us go. They can't kick us all off." It's the 'they can't suspend all of us' argument that she used to use in high school.

"I don't want to get in trouble." Tim says.

"What are we supposed to do?" Katie says, annoyed that she can't be included.

"You don't have to come." She points to Tim but then drops her hand as she talks to Katie. "And you guys go back to the hotel."

"Are we supposed to cover for you?"

"No. You can't really. Just say that you don't know where we went."

"You keep saying we like people have agreed to go with you." Lee points out.

"You say that like you're not going to go with me."

"I haven't decided yet."

"Well I don't have time to stand around. I'm going." She backs away from the group and down the sidewalk. "If you're coming, come on." She sees the conflict play across Lee's face as Casey and Mike and Andrew step forward to join her. Lee looks over at Tim, who's nervously tapping his foot against the sidewalk before Lee finally decides with a shake of his head to go with her.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't know yet." She never knows but she markets that as charming since she sells it with a smile.

He wants to duck into the first bar that they come across, just to get off the street and get this over with but she quickly dismisses it.

"Too many skanky women about that one." She explains and even she has to shake her head at that because it's not like she's a saint, especially in her short silver dress.

The one she finally picks is perfect. It's kind of shady but not sketchy and there's a good mix of men and women so Harper knows she won't be getting hit on every time she turns around. She and the boys take a seat at the bar where they're recognized by the bartender, much to Lee's annoyance.

"I didn't know you guys were let out of your holding cells." He directs it to all of them but only looks at Harper, which also annoys the hell out of Lee.

"We broke out." Harper tells him as she leans forward on the bar and the guy laughs.

"First rounds on the house." He says as he lays out shot glasses.

"Awww, thanks."

"Every drink for her is on the house." Another bartender says and she raises her glass to him before she
downs the clear liquid.

She turns to the guys as they put their glasses down and they all stare at her, like she's supposed to entertain them.

"What are you all looking at?"

"What do we do now?" Andrew asks and Harper leans one arm on the bar and the other on her hip.

"What do you mean? What do you usually do at a bar?"

"Drink."

"Hit on women."

"Sing."

She smiles at Lee's innocent answer. "Then go do that. Do whatever you want. You have a night of freedom. Enjoy it."

"You sure we won't get in trouble?" Andrew asks.

"Yes. I will take full responsibility for anything that goes wrong. I promise. Now go have fun. I don't want you four sitting here while i'm doing things." They still don't move and she sighs. "Do any of you want to dance with me?"

"I'm not a dancer."

"I don't like this song."

"I'm married."

"I'm not drunk enough to embarrass myself like that."

They all spill out excuses and she groans.

"You guys are so lame. Y'know what? Why don't you just go back to the hotel. I'll find my way back on my own." She tells them as she beckons for another drink, which is given to her right away, downs it, and walks off to find someone that will have some fun.

She finds about six guys that are willing to do whatever she wants them to and she spends the first half hour drinking and talking and when she's finally able to disentangle herself from them she goes to find the guys she came with, just to check up. They're not where she left them at the bar and she panics for a moment thinking that they actually did what she said. She didn't want them to leave her here. She doesn't really want to be here without Lee and she kicks herself for not dragging him out into the middle of the floor or into a back table where she probably would've dragged him into the bathroom or out the fire exit to make out with him by now.

She's ready to leave when she's suddenly hugged from behind by Casey. He's completely drunk.

"Hey." He extends the word with an easy smile. "This was a good idea. You know we should've done this sooner. Why didn't we?"

"I don't know. Where is everyone else?"

"Oh, they're around." He gestures wildly with his hands all over the bar, offering her no help.

"Okay, thanks for that." She says sarcastically as she starts to move back through the bar.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go..." She mumbles something and ignores him, searching the bar for Lee.

She finds Mike and Andrew first, sitting at a table with a beer in their hands, innocently talking to some girls. Lee, however, who is a few tables down isn't as innocent. But she's going to blame that on the girl that he's talking to. Harper knows her. Her name is Chloe Carrington, probably a fake name to go along with her fake talent, fake hair, fake tan and breasts. She's a singer, if Harper had to call her something. Sse's kind of, sort of semi famous, mostly from YouTube videos. She's not even verified on twitter. Harper guesses that Chloe thinks she's more famous and important than she actually is. With her blonde hair and blue eyes, she kind of looks like Harper if Harper stopped dying her hair, tanned excessively and got surgery as soon as she was old enough to.

Of course, Harper could be a little bitter towards her now for how she's sitting. Much too close to him, their knees touching, her hand on his arm and she's laughing at something he said as he leans in and talks to her. He doesn't seem to hate her. He's talking to her and when his hand falls off the back of her chair and onto her back Harper knows what real jealousy feels like. The cold, sick feeling in her stomach, she can feel every heavy heartbeat in her chest and her mind reels and bends to over analyze every movement they make. She feels betrayed but then feels so stupid for feeling that way because he's doing nothing wrong. He catches her eye just when she can't take it anymore and heads back to the bar for a free drink. When he doesn't break through the crowd behind her to explain or apologize or tell her that Chloe is such a joke that he can't even stand it she attempts to put him out of her head and replace him with the first hot guy that she sees.

Lucas, she finds out, is 25 and is between jobs and Harper is bored with him fast but he's standing right near the bar and after a few more drinks she find him a lot funnier and she can deal with it. Seven minutes after meeting him, she's kissing him and then he pulls away and mumbles 'do you want to get out of here?' and she doesn't and can't.

"I don't think so. I have to wake up early and...do stuff."

Lucas starts to protest but he can't get very far because she's distracted by a mob of Casey, Mike, Andrew, and Lee walking past her, but not saying anything to her.

"Hey." She pushes past Lucas to follow them and grabs Lee's arm to get him to explain. "What the hell is going on?"

He turns back to her and looks pissed and she doesn't get that. "We have to take Casey back. I think he has alcohol poisoning."

"What?"

"I'm exaggerating a little bit but he need to go back. He won't be able to function tomorrow, people will know."

"Well it's our day off. It's not like he has to get up and sing or go live or something."

"Look." He snaps and Harper takes a step back. "If you don't want to leave, don't. Stay here and do whatever you were doing with whoever the fuck that is." He says nodding at Lucas and Harper suddenly get it. "Or better yet, why don't you just go home with him. Since you're so into having fun and doing crazy crap like that. I know you can't have an issue with having sex with some stranger that you just met in a bar."

"Whoa." She doesn't offend easily, if at all but she feels like that was borderline crossing the line.

"Just come with us or stay, I don't care." He says coldly as he turns to leave and she's following before she can even think it over in her mind.

They're all on the sidewalk, Mike has a firm grip on Casey's arms to keep him in place because all he wants to do is run into the bar or across the street and he does look very drunk. Nothing too serious but he's going to have the mother of all hangovers tomorrow. Andrew is trying desperately to get a cab and Lee is standing off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest and his back facing her and the image makes her head hurt. She must be drunker than she thought for the hangover symptoms to already be kicking in.

"We're going to have to get two cabs. We can't fit in one." Andrew tells them as the first cab pulls up and Mike starts to ease Casey into it. "Why don't you and Harper get the next one." Andrew tells Lee but Lee shakes his head.

"No. I'll go with Casey." He says as he almost pushes Andrew out of the way to get into the cab.

"What the hell man?"

"I'll see you back at the hotel." Is the last thing he says before the slams the door shut and the cab takes off and Andrew looks at Harper, who's still standing by the door of the bar, her arms wrapped around her middle.

"What the hell happened?"

"I think he's mad at me."

"For the making out with random dude thing? Don't blame him."

She steps away from the door to Andrew to defend herself. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"You know he likes you and you pretty much stick your tongue down some other guys throat right in front of him. That's not okay."

"I didn't stick my tongue down his throat Andrew and I didn't know he could see and I didn't do it to make him feel bad."

"You just did it because you wanted to? Or because you saw him and that girl?"

She looks down at the ground and gives away the truth.

"So fucked up Harper." Andrew laughs and she rolls her eyes.

"I couldn't help it."

"Why don't you just admit that you like him?"

"I never said I didn't. I just don't want to get involved with him in that way."

"But it wouldn't be okay if he wanted to get with that girl?"

"Oh god no, not that girl, she's awful."

"Fucked up." He repeats as a cab pulls to the curb. "Get in. We got a drunk that we have to take care of a mile ahead of us."

They get to the hotel just as Mike is getting Casey out of the cab. He's putting up quite a fight but Mike's handling it and for the first time Harper is happy that he's still here because there's no way she and Andrew and Lee could do that on their own. Casey's loud and all the attention is put on them as they walk into the hotel and Mike pretty much pushes him into the elevator.

Lee and Harper stand on separate sides and the small space is filled with an awkward silence because even Casey can pick up on the fact that something is off with them.

When the doors slide open Lee takes the key card from Mike and rushes ahead to get their door open so they can get Casey inside quickly and quietly and Lee holds the door for them as they file in and Mike drops Casey to the couch while Andrew gets him some aspirin and Lee gets water and Harper feels like she's just in the way because she's not doing anything to help, she doesn't even know how to help because she's too caught up in worrying about what's going to happen with Lee.

She's not even paying attention to the scene in front of her and when she looks up and scans the room Lee is gone and she has the urge to find him so she leaves without saying a word. He's halfway down the hallway to his room, his hands in his pockets and when she calls his name there's a falter in his step but he doesn't stop.

"Would you hold on?" She calls again, desperate this time.

"I'm tired and drunk, I don't want to talk."

She stops him from opening the door by pushing the key away and he takes a deep controlling breath. She knows she's starting to push him over the edge but that's what she wants. She doesn't accept silence from people when she wants them to talk. So she'll jab at them until they can't take it and blow up on her which usually pisses her off but at least she got them to say something.

"I'm sorry you're mad."

"Oh, thanks. Apology accepted."

"Lee."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't accept that. Are you just going to be pissed at me the whole time?"

"Well maybe i'll get lucky and you'll go home soon." He regrets saying that as soon as it's out of his mouth.

"Thanks for telling me how you really feel. Maybe I don't feel so bad now." She turns to leave but he grabs her hand.

"I didn't mean that."

"Whatever Lee."

"No, now I want to talk."

"Well I don't."

"Well I don't really give a shit about what you want right now. I want to talk to you. I hate that guy."

"I don't even know that guy."

"That's why I hate him. You're willing to make out with him but you won't with me."

"I never said that I won't do it."

"You just don't want to."

"I'm not saying that either. Do you listen when I talk? And I only kissed him because you were all over Chloe."

"Who is Chloe?"

"That slut you were all over."

"You jealous?"

"Of that thing? Not in a million years."

"That sounds like jealousy."

"I don't care what you think it sounds like."

"Just say that you were jealous and we can forget this whole thing."

"No. The more you want me to say it the more I won't say it."

"Fine, don't say it just let me know that it's true."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I know."

"We're getting no where here." No one ever wins in a drunk conversation.

"I'm jealous. I was jealous of that guy. What does he have that I don't have?"

"I don't know him. I don't have to worry or care about him. I don't wan tot care about you. I don't.....dammit
Lee." She pushes his chest. "Stop doing this shit to me. Just leave me alone. Deal with it. It's for the best. Trust me."

"What the hell is wrong with you Harper? What happened to you? Why won't you let me care about you?"

"Because I don't do that. People don't care, I don't care. It's the way I am."

"It's stupid."

"Well....that's my life."

"I don't believe that. I don't buy that you're really like that. You're just scared."

"What would I be scared of?"

"I don't know. Getting hurt. You want me to get all psychological on you or what?"

"No. I don't want to hear any of it. I'm going."

"What are you going to do Harper?" He grabs her by the arm so she can't open the door. "What are you going to do with the rest of your life? You just gonna be alone?"

"That works for me."

"But you don't have to be like that. I'm here. I want you."

"Stop."

"No. It's not that easy. You know it's not that easy. If it was you wouldn't care about me."

"I don't care about you."

"That's a lie. You have to or else you wouldn't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous." She shouts. She needs to go. She has to get out. It won't end well.

"It's okay Harper." He holds her to the door and no matter how hard she pushes him he won't move so she
does the only thing she can think of.

She brings her hands up the side of his face, the stubble on his jaw line scratching against her palm and her fingers curl into his soft hair as she kisses him. So hard. He pulls her by the hips into the room trying to get her closer to the bed because in his mind he wants to do this right and slow and all those perfect things he knows she's not used to but because it's her she doesn't want or need that. She'll just take him now, standing up in a hotel room. That he shares. With Andrew. The realization hits her hard and she pulls her mouth away from his and her hand works it's way into the front pocket of his jeans.

"What are you doing?" He asks breathlessly as he keeps a hold of her hips.

She takes out his phone. "I'm texting Andrew."

"Why would you do that?"

"We have to tell him not to come back here for a little bit."

"So we're really doing this?" He looks at her all wide eyed and she almost laughs.

"Do you not want to?"

"I don't know. Yes. No, don't know what i'm saying."

She bites her lip. "Just don't talk. Don't think." She whispers before she kisses him deeply again. He tastes like alcohol and perfection and his question of 'are we really doing this' comes into her mind but she shakes it off because, yes, they are. She has to now. She can't leave this room without going through with it, she wants to and she knows he wants to and her mind is racing as his rough hand moves up her leg under her dress.

He gets them off the wall and to the adjacent one, no closer to the bed but he's rapidly giving up on that thought as she starts to undo his belt and his jeans, pushing them down off his hips.

"Harper." He hisses out into her shoulder when she gets her hand inside his boxers and around him and she smiles against the skin on his neck as she kisses him.

"What? You want me to stop?" She jokes, her lips still on his skin, her hand still moving, slow and steady.

"No." He says fast and then blushes at how desperate he sounds and the gentle vibrations that come from her when she laughs into the crook of his neck make him shiver. He closes his eyes tight and reaches around the back of her dress to pull down the zipper but she ducks out of his arms and kneels in front of him, quickly getting off his boxers. "Oh my god." He groans when he feels her mouth against him, hand still moving to make sure that he feels as much as he can. He has to steady himself against the wall, leaning with his hands flat against it, eyes still closed because he knows that if he looks down at her he'll lose is completely and it's too soon and he wants more and he wants her to have something too.

She pulls away from him suddenly, releasing him with an illicit pop of her lips. "You know what you should do?" She says conversationally, casually, like she's not driving him crazy every time her thumb brushes across him. "Anytime you're on stage and you're nervous you should think of this. Calm you right down."

"I can't do that. I can't..." His hands curl into fists on the wall. "I can't even think of it now."

"Why not?"

"Because. I can't....I just can't."

She sighs and smiles. "I still want you to think of this often."

"I'm sure I will." He groans out as his knees weaken a little bit and his forehead rests against the wall. "Harper. C'mon, let me..."

"Don't worry about me." She interrupts.

"But I..." He stops, his breath hitching. "I want to."

"Really, don't worry. Just let me do this."

"I can't fight that." He says quietly as she makes one final move with her hand and her mouth as he comes hard, breathing out a curse as he does. "Holy shit Harper."

She stands up laughing softly. "That's a good thing right?"

"God yes." He states as he kisses her shoulder.

"I need to go."

"No. Stay."

"I can't. Andrew has to come in sometime. His ear is probably pressed to the door now."

"I'll kill him." He says as he pulls up his jeans.

"I sure he already knows. I'm sure everyone knows."

"You okay with that?"

"No. But it's too late to change it. It just can't happen again. It shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because i'm not looking for anything real."

"Neither am I." It's a lie and she sees right through it. She smiles at him sadly and puts her hand to his chest as she leans into kiss him.

"Go to bed. Maybe you won't be hung over in the morning."

"I'm not gonna give up on you Harper."

She turns around, her hand on the door. "Then you'll be the first one." She opens the door and leavs and he lets her. Andrew's not in the hall so she's able to walk to her room without a problem.

Lee doesn't know what to do with himself. He knows he's not the kind of guy that she's used to. He can't do the one night stand and he can't just have that friends with benefits thing. He wants her to still be here but she's not and now he's left alone in his room, just waiting for Andrew to show up and beg him for details so he takes a quick shower and then goes to bed, pretending to be asleep when Andrew finally shows up.

But fake sleep does nothing to deter Andrew because he immediately comes over and sits at the foot of Lee's bed.

"You're not sleeping. Tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened." He should've just played dead.

"My ass nothing happened. What is this text?" Andrew pulls out his phone and the screen lights up the room. "'Don't come back yet. Give up 30 minutes, thanks' Whe the fuck is that?"

Lee cringes and pulls the covers over his head and rolls over. He should've read that before she sent it. "I didn't write that."

"Oh. Did she? I always thought she'd be a take control kind of a girl. So how was it? Where'd you do it? Was she good? Should I not be sitting here?"

"No. Get away from me." Lee says as he kicks him.

"I just want to know. Come on, I don't think she's the kind of girl that cares if you tell me."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it bad?"

"No."

"So it was good? Meaning that something happened."

Lee's silent for a long moment. "Shut up."

"Just tell me what happened and then i'll never ask again. Until the next time."

"There won't be a next time."

"Why? Oh. Maybe you were bad."

"I was not."

"Well them why no repeat? You sucked."

"I couldn't have."

"You can always be bad. Maybe she faked it."

"Not possible."

"Ummm. It's always.....oh. Oh. Oh man."

Lee buries his face into the pillow as Andrew figures it out.

"Dude. High five me right now."

"No. Go away."

"So she was good at that? Damn."

"Andrew, come on, stop."

"Why won't she do it again?"

"Because." Lee sighs heavily and turns so he's on his back. "She's not the kind of girl that I should be looking for."

"I know. She's better."

"Just." Lee waves his hand through the dark. He's getting a headache. "Forget it. How's Casey."

"He's not doing as well as you were doing."

Lee's hands cover his face. "Keep this quiet."

"I will. But tomorrow, when you feel better about this whole thing and what happened starts to set in can you tell me all about it."

"You're a perv."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Go to bed." Lee says as he gives Andrew one final kick with his foot.

In the morning Lee only wakes up with a slight hangover but the feeling of panic that comes from seeing her and dealing with the whole thing and Andrew's looks makes up for it.

He sees her first at breakfast. She's got her mirrored avaters on to hide her tired eyes and block out the light and a pad of paper in front of her and the pen that she's holding is between her lips, chewing on in and even behind the glasses he knows she's watching him at that makes him hot all over and he can't think straight so he trips over nothing and slams into Tim.

"Watch where you're going."

"Sorry. I'm sorry." Lee apologizes as Andrew laughs and Harper holds back a laugh.

He sits down at the end of that table, Mike, Katie, and Casey, who looks terrible, separate them but he can still feel her watching him with a smirk on her lips. It's distracting and unfair because he can't make her feel the same way and he just wants to get out of the room as quick as he can so he shovels the food into his mouth and springs up.

He's to the door when he's stopped by a producer.

"You and Harper need to come with me." She says and everyone 'oooos' like they're both getting called to the principal's office in school.

She gets up like it's no big deal and he's freaking out inside because this is so much worse than high school.

They don't dare speak as the producer leads them through the hallway and to the elevator and while they're in the elevator and he doesn't even really look at her until they're just steps away from the door of the office. When they get there he takes her by the arm to get her to stop walking.

"What are we going to do?"

"Nothing. Because nothing bad will happen."

"Why are they talking to just us? Do you think they know about......what happened?"

"No. And so what if they do. They can't do anything about that. This is about the bar. They know it was my idea and they know that we're close so they're dragging you in here to make me feel guilty or whatever stupid trick they want to play and we'll both be fine in the end because I never do anything unless I know how to get out of it. I'll take care of you. I promise."

"You're not going to throw me under the bus like you did with that kid in that story your dad was telling us?"

She laughs and pushes her glasses up her nose. "No. I wouldn't do that to you. Just shut up in here. I got you. Don't worry." She says as she walks ahead to the room.

There's a really important producer sitting at a desk. He doesn't look amused and Lee wants to beg and plead for forgiveness while he promises that he'll never do anything bad again but Harper looks like none of this is a big deal and he almost hates her coolness.

"What you two did last night broke so many rules."

"I.." Lee starts but Harper puts her hand on his arm.

"It wasn't just us."

"I know that. But i'm guessing that this was your idea."

"Why would you think that?"

The producer tips his head to the side. "We know how you are Harper."

"That's a little judgemental. I thought Idol was all about accepting people and respecting them and giving
second chances. We're not all saints y'know. Some of us have past issues."

"I wouldn't really say that your issues were in the past. Not if you're sneaking out and lying."

"No one ever lied. We were all plenty old enough. No laws were broken. And i'm sorry that one of us got pretty wasted but nothing really happened. Today is our day off. He'll sleep it off. No one even knows or care that we went out. It's not affecting the show at all. What's the issue?"

"The issue is the way that you behaved."

"How did I behave."

She's taking it all on herself and Lee wishes he could jump in just to take the focus off of her. He really doubts that she wouldn't gone at all if none of them went with her.

"Drinking."

Harper laughs. "So what? I drink. Do you think i'm a virgin too? Do you think we all are because I guarantee that that's not true."

"That's another thing. There are rules against contestants engaging in any form of relations."

"Well it's a good thing no one's doing that." She stares him down, sunglasses still on. "Look. Can we just get to the bottom line. I'm clearly not very good with taking this kind of thing seriously so it's probably just a waste of your time."

"The bottom line Miss. Moore." He sounds frustrated and Lee's hands grab the arm of the chair tight while Harper sits back in her chair relaxed. "You need to give me a real good reason as to why I shouldn't kick both of you off right now."

She smiles and leans forward. She's had the response to this working in her head since she came up with the idea last night in the restaurant. "You're not going to get rid of us. You can't. Because if you want to get rid of him, then you need to get rid of Mike, Casey, and Andrew too. And then you're left with Tim and Aaron. And no disrespect to them, but they're not American Idols. And do you really want Tim to outlast all of them? That's already getting bad press. And there is no way in hell you would get rid of Lee or Casey for any reason what so ever. You're demographic is women and they're pretty much what you have to please them. They go and so do most of the girls. Plus this one is probably going to win. You can't get rid of him. And as for me....I don't really have a reason for me. You should just get rid of me." She jokes. "But wait, oh." She grabs for Lee's hand, thrilled with her sudden excuse. "There are three girls left and you want to knock it down to two. That's not smart. It's just not. There hasn't been a girl winner in a little while and some people are starting to bitch about that. And if you just got rid of me, since you can't get rid of the guys that would be a little weird. Just ousting the girl while the guys got to stay even though they did the exact same thing. That's looks bad too. It's a lose lose for you. Just give up. Everyone is staying, no one cares what we did and you just wasted like, ten minutes of your time. Feel free to cut me off at anytime by the way, I feel another rant coming on about this show."

"Get out of here." He snaps.

"Sure thing." She says as she stands up, grabbing a speechless Lee by the arm and dragging him to the
door.

Once they get out into the hallway and the office door closes Lee hugs her.

"I can't believe you did that."

"It was nothing. I should've been a lawyer."

"I don't know what I wouldn't done if I was alone in there. I would've cracked. I'm not that cool."

"I know that." She jokes and squeezes his arm. "It was my fault anyways. I had to help you out."

"You didn't have to."

"Yes I did. No way I was going to let them even think about sending you home. It was all a bluff anyways. He knew all that stuff before I said it. They just like to fuck with minds. It'll be okay."

"I....thank you."

"It was really nothing." She shakes her head and starts to walk down the hall, pulling Lee with her.

He doesn't think she gets what that whole thing meant to him. She practically saved him and no matter how many times she comes back with 'I was the one that put you in danger first' he won't ever think any less of it.
Once they get inside the safety and the privacy of the elevator he decides to thank her how she's probably used to being thanked. He moves fast as he puts his hands on her waist and covers her mouth with his own before she can do anything to stop him. She kisses him back for a few floors until she pulls his head back by his hair, her fingers buried deep within it.

"What the fuck is this?"

"I wanted to kiss you."

"You wanted to say thanks."

"That too."

"I didn't hate it."

"I want..."

"No." She cuts him off. "I don't want to know about what you want because I can't be it. This isn't anything Lee. Don't make it something. Lets just have fun with each other and when I get voted off or god forbid you do it'll end and we'll never talk about it again. Or if we make it and we go on tour then it stops before that. I can do that. Can you?"

He wants to say 'I don't want to' but that's breaking a rule. "Is that just the way it's going to be? That or nothing?"

"Yeah."

He looks her over. "I can do that."

A slow smile covers her face. "Then meet me tonight after Andrew falls asleep. We'll go somewhere."

All he can do it nod as the elevator doors open and she walks out ahead of him, not bringing him with her and he's just praying that he can change her mind.

series, stfu and fuck, mini chapter for banging, hug(of the mouthed variety), hella awkward for me, boo you whore, oy with the poodles already, shelter, fancy an awkward pause?, i think there's a bear in here, her?, it squeaks when you bang it, filler chapter, american idol, fake text to avoid awkward situations, ....possibly some dragons

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