He Holds Back A Sigh As She Touches His Arm, She Dusts Off The Bed Where Til Now He's Been Sleeping
Chapter 3/?
He gets back to the studio with her and Mark mouths 'good job' to Lee behind her back so she doesn't see and Lee frowns because he's still not thrilled with her being here but he can't do anything about it. She's a fact in his life now. An obnoxious, loud, argumentative fact and he'll have to deal with it.
They work together and it's tense and difficult but at the end of the day they have a rough idea of a song. There's no name written to it yet and it's just him playing it on his guitar but it's something and he's not afraid to tell her that he's more than happy with it.
It's just a song to him while he's in the studio with her but when he gets home and things are finally quiet and peaceful and he feels his blood pressure lower because he's more relaxed he see's her all over the song. In the parts that she wrote, but even more so in the parts that she didn't.
'You walk on by, don't blink an eye,
It's kind of funny, got me wondering why,
Maybe i'm just not your type,
Or maybe i'm your mister right'
That's all her. It's all about her. He didn't plan on it to be and he didn't mean for it to be, he wasn't even thinking of her because while he was writing it he was so focused on thinking of anything but her but now, he can't sing the song without her being the inspiration for it. He doesn't know how he could let this happen. He doesn't want to have anything dedicated to her and after this album is done, everything is written and recorded, he wants to be able to move on from her completely. Forget about her and have the only reminder of her to be her name written in tiny text next to his under the song title in the CD booklet saying that she helped him write it. But now he's got this whole song that's a constant reminder of her and everything she is and everything that she means to him, which is apparently mover than he ever meant for her to, and every time he sings it, he'll think of her.
It's an unwanted and confusing feeling that he doesn't want or like and he thinks about scrapping the song but that's more work than it's worth because he likes the song and he wants it and he knows he'll get questions from her, she'll demand to know what's wrong with it because it's hers. She came up with the idea and she'll take it personally, which he guesses that she should and then it'll lead to a fight and he doesn't know what he'll say if he's cornered into giving her an answer. The truth cannot come out. He can only hope that she doesn't see it as clearly as he does.
But she does.
She noticed it when he wrote down the lyrics 'you got me hypnotized with your long brown hair and your hazel eyes, and your don't care smile' because dammit, that's her. She has to be in there some where and that's not where she wants to be at all. She doesn't want a song written about her. No matter how sweet it is. She's not supposed to feel all weak and swoony when he sings it and she's not supposed to like that. She's supposed to fight against everything that he does and all that she feels and she can't do it if he writes things like that. She can't see herself sitting in a room with him, just the two of them, while they write and he sings and plays guitar because it'll push her out of professionalism and into being a fan and she can't have that. She doesn't want him to know that she actually is a huge fan and loves all that he does because then he would know that she lied to him and that she liked the song and liked that it was about her and that's going to lead to a whole host of problems and she doesn't need any of that. She has to hide it all. No one can know the truth, it can't come out.
So they're careful around each other. So careful. To the point where they're barely speaking because then they would fight and fighting sparks something in both of them. It's some kind of palpable tension that they both know can only lead to a mistake happening. Something that they'll both enjoy but regret because it's wrong, but in a very right way and the whole thing makes them each want to scream and roll their eyes and tell each other that they hate the other for doing tis to them and putting them through this but that would mean that they're admitting to feelings that shouldn't even be there.
They try to write songs that have nothing to do with them but it doesn't work because they're so enamored with each other, they're the only thing they can think about and anything that they do write is total crap so they're left with nothing. And that's frustrating. They've been working for almost a month and the only thing they have to show for it is one song that they don't talk about and a few lines of another song that they're hesitant to finish because 'I won't let you leave, I know right now you're mad but you will see, why is it so hard for you to believe, oh believe me, every little thing is gonna be okay my dear, as long as you stay here' just screams him in her car that afternoon asking for her not to leave him and they can't expand on that anymore.
Everyday they get into the studio is a chore. It's more than work. Nothing gets done and they both sit in silence until one of them will randomly throw some idea out there and it's shot down because it's so stupid and meaningless.
Today she's lying on the couch with her notebook braced against her knees and instead of writing down lyrics she's been doodling butterflies for the past three hours. She's not looks at him, he's not in her eye line.
He's over on the other side of the room playing around on the piano, trying to figure out some kind of melody and apparently failing because every once in a while she'll hear him hit the wrong key and he'll sigh in frustration and try it over again.
When she hears him hit a bunch of keys at once she cranes her head to look at him. He's sitting at the piano with his head down on the keys and his arms are hanging at his sides and she sits up and runs her hands over her legs.
"Ummm." Her voice sounds so loud in his ears because he hasn't heard it in hours.
"I don't know Cam. I suck."
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "At least you finally learned that. It only took you 24 years."
"I mean it. I can't do this."
"I guess it's back to the paint store for you then."
He turns his head to look at her and he hits a few more keys and they ring out in the room. "I'm serious."
She looks at him with wide eyes because he's scared and he needs reassurance and she doesn't know how to give him that so she looks away from him nervously. "I don't think I can do this. I have an interview tomorrow and they're going to ask me how this is going and what am I supposed to tell them?"
"Just skip it."
"I can't. Mark has stressed over and over again that I absolutely have to be there. If I don't show up I better be dead." He turns his head again so his forehead is back on the keys. "I'm a failure."
"Oh, you're just stuck. Get over it. If you're ready to give up this easily then you don't really deserve it."
"Don't tell me I don't deserve this." He picks up his head and puts his hand over the grey beanie that's covering his hair. "It's not like you've been helping me."
"So now because you decide that you suck it's my fault."
"It's not just mine. Every idea that you've had has been crappy/"
"And you're really coming up with brilliant ones. These are your songs Lee, I can't work with anything if I have nothing to work with."
"You're the professional." He tells her.
"And you're a pain in the ass."
He stands up suddenly. "Let's go."
"I"m not going anywhere." She closes her eyes and leans back on the couch and then she feels the pen and the notebook that she's been holding being pulled from her hands and she feels his fingers wrap around her upper arm and he easily pulls her up. "What are you doing?" She says as she stumbles to her feet and tries to pull away from him but he's got a firm, but not overpowering, grip on her.
"We're going out."
"I don't want to."
"We have to do something. Nothing is happening and you're not being paid for doing nothing."
She finally works her arm away from him. "What did I tell you about touching me?"
"Ummm." He pretends to think. "Do it."
"No. Don't touch me and don't try and kidnap me at 9 o'clock at night."
"That last part wasn't in the terms. We're going." He reaches for her again but she moves out of the way and walks out in front of him.
"Fine. Lets go but i'm not going to have fun."
"That won't be a problem, i'm pretty sure you're incapable of it."
He's a crazy driver. She learns that fast. He speeds and rolls through stop signs and tailgates and it's close to being a white knuckle ride.
"Where are we going?"
He's been driving for awhile and she has no idea where she is.
"I'll tell you when we get there."
"I don't like this Lee."
"Just add it to the list."
"We're like, 40 miles outside the city." She rests her head against the window. "Stop sign." She warns him and he slows down but that's it. "That wasn't a full stop, that wasn't a full stop."
"Stop talking."
"Okay, kill us both. See if I care."
"We're not going to die."
"I don't know that Lee. We're in the middle of no where and you're driving like there's someone chasing us."
He laughs. "If there were someone chasing us I wouldn't have even slowed down. Calm down."
"I'd like to know where we are."
"I know where we are, don't worry."
"That's not very reassuring for some reason."
He looks over at her and she freaks out.
"Put your eyes back on the road. What the hell Lee, i'm not going out next to you on a deserted road."
He looks back to the road and turns the radio up and she doesn't attempt to talk over it.
He finally stops ten minutes later at the beach. There's no one else around and she slowly gets out of the car after him.
"Oh God, is this where you kill me?"
"No." He laughs and keeps walking, stopping at the edge of the sand and takes off his shoes and socks and she kicks off her flip flops and follows him onto the beach.
She stands next to him as he sits down on the sand and she looks out at the water until he takes her hand and she looks back to him. "Sit." He tells her and she doesn't pull her hand away.
"Is this where you take girls?"
"What girls?"
She rolls her eyes. "What do you mean 'what girls?'"
"What? There is no girl."
She sits down next to him and he drops her hand.
"Do you want there to be?" She asks him and she looks at him through narrowed eyes.
"Someday."
"Hmmm." His vague answer leaves a funny feeling in her.
"What about you?"
"Is there a girl in my life?" She smiles when she hears him laugh.
"Yes."
"No. Sorry to disappoint."
"What about a guy then?"
"Not that either."
"Why not?"
"No time. No guys."
"Maybe you're too picky."
"Maybe you're too picky. I don't think you could throw a rock without hitting 10 women that would sleep with you."
"I don't really have a problem with that."
"Oh." Her voice sounds funny, like she's jealous and she looks away from him so he can't see any of it in her eyes. Then she looks back to him when she knows he's not looking at her. He's focused on the water and she lets herself take in the moment for what it is. She's sitting on an empty beach with im and the air is warm but he's warmer and there's only the moonlight and the sound of the waves hitting the sand and she could see herself leaning over and kissing him, softly and slowly but then all those thoughts go away when the thought of him with someone else comes crashing at her because apparently that's what's happening.
"So. Are you excited about tour?" She speaks so she can't think.
"Yeah, it'll be fun."
"You're not nervous?"
"I've performed before idol and then on idol."
"But now people are paying to see you and what if you trip or something?"
"Are you trying to make me nervous?"
"Yes. I like it."
"Well it's not working. I'm totally fine with touring."
"Okay. Whatever you say."
"I am and I don't care if you don't believe me."
"Okay, okay."
"Y'know you should come to a show."
She's had tickets since they went on sale. "If you get me good seats. Maybe backstage passes."
"You want to get backstage?"
"Yeah, I want to meet Casey. He's kind of hot."
His mouth drops open. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that."
She holds back a laugh. "Are we going to go soon?"
"We just got here."
"Yeah but i'm tired and late and it's hot out here."
"The water's right there. Go cool off."
"Not a chance in hell."
"Why not. No one is here, the waves are big and the water won't be cold. It'll be nice."
"Because then i'll be all sandy and gross."
"You are high maintienance."
"Just because I don't want to feel disgusting does not mean i'm high maintenance."
"Yes it does."
"You do it then."
"I'm not the one complaining so I have nothing to prove."
She glares at him and starts to sit up but then she sits back down. "No. I'm not giving into you. I'm not getting in that water."
He lays down on the sand. "Proved my point."
She huffs out an annoyed breath and stands up completely and he sits up and watches as she unbuttons her shorts and tosses them next to him on the sand.
"I hate you. With everything I have."
He's speechless as she pulls off her t-shirt. "I think I love you." He says as his eyes openly scan over her body.
"Shut up." She walks away from him and stands at the edge of the water for a moment before she dives in and disappears under the water and he starts to worry when he doesn't see her but then she surfaces and he shakes the worry off.
She walks back up the beach to him and stands in front of him, back lit by the moon.
"Now your turn."
"No way, i'm not getting in that water." He tells her seriously and she shakes her hair and water slashes onto him.
"What are you, afraid? I just did it with no problem. What's your excuse?"
"My excuse is that I can say no to peer pressure. I'm sorry that you can't."
"I just don't accept that." She says as she puts one hand on her hip and reaches the other one out to him and pulls on his shirt and he stands up and backs away from her, laughing as he moves.
"Get away from me."
"No way! I work for you, you do this for me."
"That is so backwards. You work for me, stop harassing me."
"But I could quit at anytime and leave you all alone so you get in the water." She demands and her both her hands go to her hips and he shakes his head as he brushes the beanie off his head and then his shirt off his shoulders and his jeans off his hips and she bites her lip as she watches him undress.
"I hate you." He mumbles as he walks past her to the water.
"I hate you more." She calls after him and follows after him.
She stands next to him at the waters edge and sighs dramatically. "I'm not getting any younger Lee."
"Shut up."
"Just jump in. I did."
"That's because you're insane." He says quietly and she shakes her head and steps into the water in front of him and touches her hand to his arm softly and he looks up at her and sees the playful look in her eyes and he finds it very hard not to touch her waist and move his hand over her soft skin and kiss her because that's all that he's thinking about but the moments broken when she feels the same thing that he does and she's got more control because she has more to lose so she lets him go and stands next to him again. He looks over at her and she's looking straight ahead and he feels like he has to get her back for making him get this far into the water and for the way that she makes him feel about her, pissed off and undeniably attracted to her and he moves fast and pushes her into the water but she's fast too and she pulls him in with her.
She gets out before he can touch her again and she waits for him, ringing out her hair, trying to dry it, on the edge and she kicks water at him and then runs back up the beach when he kicks water at her.
She kicks his clothes into a pile and sits down because she doesn't want to get sandy and he accepts that because she's not going to stop doing it and sits down next to her.
"Do you feel better?"
"I feel cold and tired." She tells him as she brushes sand off her legs. "And sandy."
He lies down on the sand and she looks over at him.
"Oh my god, you're going to be covered in sand."
"You're sitting on my shirt."
"And i'm not getting up."
"So i'll deal. Lay down."
"No way."
"C'mon."
"No. You're not talking me into this." She reaches for her shirt and pulls it on. "My hair would get all gross."
He stretches his arm out behind her and she gets what he want her to do and she does it.
She lays down on the sand with her head on his arm and she glances over at him. His eyes are closed and she angles her body to him just slightly and moves her head closer to his shoulder and his lips curve into a small smile and she blushes and closes her own eyes.
She wakes up slowly in the morning. She skin feels salty and dry and her hair is crunchy and wavy and she's still lying on his shoulder and he has his arm curled around her loosely and she moves away from him and pulls on her shorts before she pushes her foot against his side to make him wake up.
"What time is it?" He asks her through a yawn.
She shakes her head and digs through the pocket of his jeans for his phone and then gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.
"It's late."
"How late?" He still doesn't hear the urgency in her voice.
"You were supposed to be at the studio for the TV interview 5 minutes ago late."
"Oh my God." He mumbles and hastily pulls on his clothes and grabs her arm and pulls her up the beach to the car, barely stopping to pull on his shoes. "I'm going to get in so much trouble."
She can't even laugh at how worried he sounds because he's in a full blown panic so she keeps quiet, even when he drives even faster and worse than the night before.
He pulls up to the studio and she has to take the keys out of the ignition for him because he's out of the car as soon as he puts it in park.
When she finally get up to the studio she can hear Mark yelling at him before she can see them and Lee's trying to explain but Mark keeps cutting him off and when she turns the corner and sees Lee's hands shoved into his pockets and his head down and he looks too much like a puppy that's getting scolded she knows she has to do something.
"It's my fault." She blurts out and Mark and Lee turn to look at her, Marks face is still set in anger, Lee's is now in confusion. "I told him that I wanted to go out last night and he's still stuck on this thing where he does whatever I tell him to do because that's the only way i'll work with him and it's stupid and i'm sorry and he was just trying to get me to stay here, which is what you told him to do so this isn't his fault. If anyone should be getting yelled at right now it's me. He wanted to come back here earlier but I said no. My fault."
Mark looks to Lee and he looks like he doesn't know what to do and Cam quickly nods to him.
"He's just being nice, he doesn't want me to get in trouble. He's too sweet for his own good." Cam tells Mark and he turns back to Lee.
"Don't fuck with him like that again." He warns her and then he turns back to Lee. "You, get out there." He walks away and Lee immediately steps closer to her and puts his arms around her to pull her into a hug and she tenses in his arms.
"Thank you so much."
"It's fine. Just get out there." She disentangles herself from him and reaches up and pulls the beanie from his head. "You have nice hair." She mumbles as an explanation and he smiles and shakes his head before he rushes out of sight to the stage.
Later that night she gets a text from him.
'We fell asleep under the stars, and you woke up in my arms.......it was the kind of moment only time could kill, it was a perfect day, the day the earth stood still. Lets work on this next time we see each other.'
She rereads the lyrics a few times and tries to compliment him when she replies to him but she doesn't know what to say so she just types out 'okay' and pushes down the regret of not making that into something more.