(no subject)
well this is it! im taking a step of faith. i've decided it's time to move on..weather its together or apart. for some reason since i've been in utah my thoughts just keep comeing back to him. so i came out with it and told him i'd like to talk to him. and i didnt want to email because it might be a long converstation..and its not just something you email. so he said hed work at getting a number for me to call.
today i was reading this book of Calvary pastor's wives and their testimonies...crazy..this lady Lenya Heitzig is saying the things that have been swimming around my head for years ...i was so shocked..first when she became Christian she had this desire to be a pastors wife.and she'd compare men to this one guy who was working towards becomeing a pastor..as time went on she grew stronger in the Lord and they met again...he was very intriuged by her then...but she went back home...she then needed to decided weather she was going to continue with missions or not...she was torn because she felt her gifts were more suitable for disicpleship rather than evangelism..anyway it ended it up she wrote skip a letter stating her desires in heart for ministry...and God had been working in his heart before hand and of course they are married.(theres alot more that happened but you get the point)
this story got me because of so many reasons.her courage to bring up the subject first..ive been struggling with that for over a year now...and just alot of things she says are exactly like my situation.
now i am willing after reading that another Godly women put her heart on the line, to also put my heart on the line... and you know what if he says no..im totally ok with that i just want to move on and take the next step in my life...but until i know for sure what he has in his heart i cant move on.
so thats where im at..i dont know how all of this will unfold but if you read this pray for my heart that will soon be vulnerable.
ps i type/write to slow for my brian so if it seems rushed..it is.
today i was reading this book of Calvary pastor's wives and their testimonies...crazy..this lady Lenya Heitzig is saying the things that have been swimming around my head for years ...i was so shocked..first when she became Christian she had this desire to be a pastors wife.and she'd compare men to this one guy who was working towards becomeing a pastor..as time went on she grew stronger in the Lord and they met again...he was very intriuged by her then...but she went back home...she then needed to decided weather she was going to continue with missions or not...she was torn because she felt her gifts were more suitable for disicpleship rather than evangelism..anyway it ended it up she wrote skip a letter stating her desires in heart for ministry...and God had been working in his heart before hand and of course they are married.(theres alot more that happened but you get the point)
this story got me because of so many reasons.her courage to bring up the subject first..ive been struggling with that for over a year now...and just alot of things she says are exactly like my situation.
now i am willing after reading that another Godly women put her heart on the line, to also put my heart on the line... and you know what if he says no..im totally ok with that i just want to move on and take the next step in my life...but until i know for sure what he has in his heart i cant move on.
so thats where im at..i dont know how all of this will unfold but if you read this pray for my heart that will soon be vulnerable.
ps i type/write to slow for my brian so if it seems rushed..it is.