fights
It’s easier for me to write out my feelings and what I want to say. Why can’t all fights be written ones? That poses the problem, though, that if you make a rash statement… or if you write something hurtful or just plain mean, it is recorded forever.
Of course, saying something mean out loud to a loved one will often stay recorded in their memories.
I had a terrible fight with my husband last night… Probably the worst we’ve ever had. I literally feel nausea creeping over me now that it’s over. I have only ever had that feeling one other time… after a big fight with an Ex that I had really cared about.
Though we somewhat closed the issue, I can’t help but feeling that ominous feeling. Like things just aren’t going to be right with us again… least not for a while. We both said some horrible things to each other, I know that one thing in particular I didn’t mean - I just said it on purpose to hurt him. Problem is, I don’t know if he really meant what he said to me.
It seems like he resents me. He resents the fact that he married me, and now I tie him down. He said he didn’t like his job, but because of me, he has to keep it. He says that I don’t respect him… and that I resent him too. Maybe I do a little… It bothers me that I haven’t been able to finish school and that to him, moving to Scandinavia would never be an option. I so badly want to move back… at least sometime in my life. And I would have probably finished school by now - or be almost there had I not got married and moved.
I do respect him though… and I appreciate him. I know I take a lot out on him… I am dissatisfied with my career, school status, etc. But whenever I think about him, our house, our dogs, I am happy with all that… I’m even proud of him…And he doesn’t realize that. All he sees is when I take something out on him. He never sees when I’m really trying to be nice and sweet to him. …He forgets all that every time we get into an argument.
He doesn’t like me anymore… He doesn’t care if he doesn’t get to see me for a few weeks… He doesn’t like talking to me on the phone… He doesn’t want to ever know anything that’s going on in my life, just as he doesn’t want to ever tell me anything about his. I don’t feel like we’re really married sometimes.
During our fight he even said that maybe I should get a bus ticket back to my parents. That hurt.
I also hate it when he interrupts me - then he won’t listen to me. Everything he says is right, even though he hadn’t let me finish saying what I was saying. And when I finally get my point across, he’ll say “Well, that’s not what you said…” or “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
Ugh.
I don’t feel well.
Of course, saying something mean out loud to a loved one will often stay recorded in their memories.
I had a terrible fight with my husband last night… Probably the worst we’ve ever had. I literally feel nausea creeping over me now that it’s over. I have only ever had that feeling one other time… after a big fight with an Ex that I had really cared about.
Though we somewhat closed the issue, I can’t help but feeling that ominous feeling. Like things just aren’t going to be right with us again… least not for a while. We both said some horrible things to each other, I know that one thing in particular I didn’t mean - I just said it on purpose to hurt him. Problem is, I don’t know if he really meant what he said to me.
It seems like he resents me. He resents the fact that he married me, and now I tie him down. He said he didn’t like his job, but because of me, he has to keep it. He says that I don’t respect him… and that I resent him too. Maybe I do a little… It bothers me that I haven’t been able to finish school and that to him, moving to Scandinavia would never be an option. I so badly want to move back… at least sometime in my life. And I would have probably finished school by now - or be almost there had I not got married and moved.
I do respect him though… and I appreciate him. I know I take a lot out on him… I am dissatisfied with my career, school status, etc. But whenever I think about him, our house, our dogs, I am happy with all that… I’m even proud of him…And he doesn’t realize that. All he sees is when I take something out on him. He never sees when I’m really trying to be nice and sweet to him. …He forgets all that every time we get into an argument.
He doesn’t like me anymore… He doesn’t care if he doesn’t get to see me for a few weeks… He doesn’t like talking to me on the phone… He doesn’t want to ever know anything that’s going on in my life, just as he doesn’t want to ever tell me anything about his. I don’t feel like we’re really married sometimes.
During our fight he even said that maybe I should get a bus ticket back to my parents. That hurt.
I also hate it when he interrupts me - then he won’t listen to me. Everything he says is right, even though he hadn’t let me finish saying what I was saying. And when I finally get my point across, he’ll say “Well, that’s not what you said…” or “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
Ugh.
I don’t feel well.