Writer's Block: The Kindness of Strangers
The nicest thing a stranger has ever done for me wasn't even an action. It was a word.
He called me darling. This probably sounds stupid lol. But just that simple word made me feel so much better. I felt like I was actually worth something; like maybe I was someones darling. And he didn't even mean it that way. Or realize just how much he touched me.
Its pointless though, to think that it might mean what I thought of. Because he was a stranger. He doesn't know me, so calling me darling, could be the same as saying "Hi, hunny" to a serial killer. I'm sure he says it to everyone. But... It just... made me feel so happy.
You know when someone does something that just suprises the hell out of you? He suprised me. I didn't know that I could be referred to as something as innocent and simplisticaly beautiful as darling. I thought I was condemned to a life of being shoved around and pushed into the dirt like the scum I am, referred to with crude, hurtful language.
I dunno. I guess I was just having one of those days.
There was this other time, when I met a man that I was a fan of (no names here haha) and he hugged me and said I was a sweet girl. Again, total shock. And another time, when someone called me sweetheart.
It just, makes me feel a little less dirty. And even more filthy too. Like I dont deserve it. But I'm still happy that you said it. Because maybe then, theres a chance for me?
When this happens, I feel like screaming in thier faces that No! I am a putrid, filthy human being!
And simultaniously, I want to cry, and hug them and say Thank you, Thank you so much.
I feel like a fallen angel.