well
It's all I can do to not click on that pic of him in my top 8 and just look...see if anything has changed. It's all that I can do to not think of him, and when I do, it doesn't last long. Every memory that I have is good, but what comes next,just isn't as inviting. I just want to wonder...wish...something...i'm not real sure. some things are just crappy. i wish so many things were different. but somethings happen, or maybe, don't happen, for a reason. all i can hope for is that the reason is a good one and not something really stupid. oh well...i constantly ask myself why i even care...and I can't give myself an answer. How much does that suck! really! I can't answer my own question! Have you ever just thought about if things were different? Like if you went to a different school, lived in a different town, had different friends, were into different things, and thousands of other "what if" questions. Every little detail of your life could be totally different if any one of those things you thought about were true. Sometimes I think about if went to a bigger school like Seymour...next things that come to mind are that I'm not good enough to play volleyball or to be a cheerleader. I wouldn't be as involved in school as I am now. I'd have different friends, do different things, likely, be a totally different person. Would I like myself? Would I be happy? Would I be RaeAnn? Would I still be the same nice, sweet, goofy person that I am today? Lots of other things come to mind too. One of them is who would my friends be? would I be popular? would i be fake? who knows...i don't, and i never will. Although sometimes, i just can't help but wonder what if one thing was different?